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Oct 4, 2008 @ 11:54 PM no more sex    
onenighter86


Posts: 7
i have been married for about a year and a half, i really didnt want to but i love her and we had a kid together. before she got pregnant i never even had to ask for sex, it would happen wether i wanted it or not, and very frequently. after she was pregnent for about 2 maybe 3 months it started hurting her to have sex so i didnt pressure her or anything. so after our son was about 3 months i wanted to start having sex regularly again, maybe not as often as before but at least a few times a week. she started refusing to do anything, sex, oral , or just to play with it for a while. well it has been about a year and a half now and nothing has changed im lucky to have sex twice a month. we went to a counselor for other problems and sex was brought up and even she agreed with me that it is "unhealthy" to withhold sex from your partner, and that it is a very important part a relationship. i talked to a few friends about it some married some not. it seems like all the married ones have the same problem. i know not all women are like this but it just seems like once your married or have a kid sex is out of the question. i have tired talking to my wife but she doesnt care. i even suggested (half kidding, half not) that she should let me have a "fuck buddy". of coarse that was a no. personally i think either shes cheating on me or she is just using me. can someone please help me, i have run out of ideas and have no clue what to do, i really dont want to cheat on her but i cant live the rest of my life like this!
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Oct 6, 2008 @ 4:47 PM no more sex    
loves2love23


Posts: 174
My older sister and her husband had the same problem but they had been married for almost a year when she got pregnant. She had a rough pregnancy and a hard delivery. She talked to me. She told me she was affraid to have sex with him in fear she would get pregnant again and have to go through the same thing. We were and still are very close so we talk about personal things we wouldn't talk about with other people. I reminded her there are other ways to satisfy each other without fucking. She said she didn't want anything to do with sex. I told her the time might come when he would start looking for sex outside the home. She said she already told him it would be fine with her if he did as long as he was careful with who he slept with. He reminded her of their wedding vows and told her if he had to resort to masturbation he would but he wasn't interested in having sex with any woman besides her. Seven months later she said she felt bad for him and masturbated him. It wasn't long after that she told me she was feeling better about having sex but she wasn't ready to fuck yet but they were doing oral. It was almost a year when she told me they fucked and she loved it and discovered that she had been missing something she loved. They had another baby last month. I guess what i'm trying to say is just be patient. Maybe she will come around in time. If not then counceling or anything else will change her mind. Be patient and good luck
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Oct 7, 2008 @ 2:40 PM no more sex    
CompleteMadness


Posts: 15
Something I've encountered with women after having a children is sometimes, they just stop feeling sexy, and that can go along with not wanting to have sex anymore. If this is the case, then flatter her. Don't overdo it, of course, because then she'll know what your motives are, but kind words every once and a while can do wonders.

A favorite of mine is while they're distracted or doing something, just sort of stare at their chest or ass. When they notice, and ask what are you looking at, just make an off-the-shoulder comment like "God I'm lucky to have a hot wife" under your breath(but audiable!), and then snap back to attention like nothing happened.
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Oct 12, 2008 @ 6:57 PM no more sex    
Roguealone


Posts: 36
Well, my first marriage, I ALWAYS had sex - even after 4 kids.
I blew that by first my cheating - then her retaliatory cheating and then 4 years trying to fix it up (we STILL had sex up until the end)

Then, when we finally divorced, I had remarried to a sex charged nympho who started with holding sex after we married. But she DID give it to her 3 previous boyfriends all throughout our marriage. We divorced

My 3rd relationship was a 6 year exclusive relationship where we had sex like barnburners for the first 3 years... and then nothing (she said it was "the change") since 2005. On Labor Day, she announced she's going to spend a 3 day weekend with a guy she met on line who lives in Ann Arbor, MI. (We live in north east Ohio).

So... She got her freedom to go fuck him
And I just got fucked... but no sex

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Oct 19, 2008 @ 12:31 AM no more sex    
muse4ya


Posts: 1
I don't believe that trying to flatter your partner without her knowing it is a good long term fix for the problem. She might pick up on what you're doing and feel like you were pascifying her. That would confirm to her that she was unattractive. It may just be a lack of communication on her part. Try waiting until you think she will be receptive, and try to get her to tell you what she likes and dislikes. ( while you're being intimate ) She might fall out of embarresment, but that would be an opportunity to get closer to her emotionally!! [B][/B]
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