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Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?


Aug 11, 2006 @ 5:01 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
moonstarr


Posts: 19
Folks, it's the midst of the night as I write this, so if something doesn't make sense please let me know, but this seems like a safe place to ask some things that have been on my mind.

I'm not considered to be a swinger - at least - I don't think so. This, however, is my issue. Here is my situation: I am a bi/curious female and have been for some time. However, I'm married. My husband knows I'm bicurious and encourages me to explore. There are some rules though - I'm only allowed to play with females - that also in my case means that no men can watch, either. My husband also chooses not to participate in my activities with the ladies in any way. He is, though, bi himself and if the right guy was to come along (if it were alright with me, which I don't know if it is or not) then he'd play with him.

I have found that some of the people I talk to were recommending I go to a swinger site to find what I'm looking for. Upon going there, I have found that most everyone there has the exact opposite rule my hubby has for me: They play together only.

What I am having trouble figuring out is if what I'm doing is simply considered looking for a bisexual female, or if what I'm involving myself in is actually considered swinging. I'm not considered a swinger for that... or am I?

Could someone please shed some light on this subject ...



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Aug 11, 2006 @ 10:01 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
leesumm


Posts: 10
my wife and I are swingers . or try to be . We have in the past. but as you say there are many variations to the lifestyle . Mostly it is a physical attraction thing for the sex some do some dont. We have been to house parties where everyone is considered swingers and there for the sex with other people , a few times the wife has scored several times and I sit in the corner bombing out on connections . The reason is unkown to either of us. The general rule is No means No (she dont know how to say no ) so she gets some and I have to take her home and settle for sloppy seconds, thirds and sometimes fourths
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Aug 14, 2006 @ 3:07 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
moonstarr


Posts: 19
Then are you saying that it is considered swinging, and that what I am doing is just a different variation from how other couples or people choose to go about it? Just a little confused.
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Aug 24, 2006 @ 11:48 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
letsplay77


Posts: 2
I have face the exact same things as you...looking for a bi female to play, not sure how to go about it...tried the swingers sites, but all I get is couples and then it seems to be about the guy. To me, you are not swinging, that is more about both partners trading partners with other people. You just want to explore.
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Aug 29, 2006 @ 5:01 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
moonstarr


Posts: 19
Being an 'explorer' sounds good to me!
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Sep 18, 2006 @ 10:05 PM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
doug0534


Posts: 8
My wife and I were in the same issue with the word "swinger". I agree it is a bit confusing but I think it is a word you use for someone who enjoys sex with other people than your spouce when your spouce knows about it and approves or agrees. Your not a "swapper" but you still are considered a swinger, at least the way we think.
One thing about a swinger is there are all kinds. Everyone has rules. You just fit it to work in your situation.
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Sep 29, 2006 @ 7:46 PM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
ZoeWaltz


Posts: 181
I am a bisexual married woman. I would love to have a (preferrably married) girlfriend with benefits. I have had one before. I don't consider it to be swinging. I think of it more as an "open" marriage.
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Oct 1, 2006 @ 2:54 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
moonstarr


Posts: 19
Sure seems everyone has a different take on this, that's for sure!

Zoe, you have mail.
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Oct 13, 2006 @ 9:15 PM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
fixit642


Posts: 28
I would not consider you a swinger,just bi To swing,as others have pointed out meand groups of three or more for the purpose of exchamging partners.You are simply bi-curiousKeep in mind this is just my opinion
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Oct 23, 2006 @ 8:18 AM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
moonstarr


Posts: 19
Update:

Honestly my brain was scattered there for awhile and I had forgotten I made this forum. I've dabbled a little bit now in a couple of the swing sites & and over a little time my husband and I were able to talk about exactly what we do and do not expect, and found we were a little (not a lot, just a little) more relaxed then we initially realized. While at this point I still don't necessarily consider myself/us to be swingers, we want to continue to explore sexuality and are finding those sites a friendly, not to mention fun, way to do so.

Things are going well enough that now I'm getting to know some LifeStyle people here locally and have decided to focus on that. Since here at AMD I usually run into folks light years away, I've decided to cancel my membership here. I'll still be around on some sites, so a few of you may still run into me.

Best of luck to everybody!
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Feb 6, 2007 @ 5:09 PM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
Swingking


Posts: 41
You dont have to 'swing' to get in the action of another couples sexual fun.
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Mar 9, 2007 @ 10:36 PM Clearing Up the Confusion - Swinger Or Not?    
lk4th


Posts: 13
I enjoy being with a woman, and would maybe like to see my man enjoy being with a man. Probably weird, but I know there's things he enjoys...although he doesn't like to admit it!
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