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Differences between a sub and a slave...


Feb 5, 2009 @ 11:45 AM Differences between a sub and a slave...    
girlruthie


Posts: 40
There is a VAST difference for me, at any rate. I have tried to be both at different times in my life and have discovered that I am more a sub that a slave.

What does that mean for me? Well........ for me, a slave is one who is there to service her Master, no questions asked. A sub is on who summits in the bedroom, but the Dom/sub relationship has at least a hint of friendship and definately has limits.

Just MHO...........
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Sep 5, 2009 @ 9:38 PM Differences between a sub and a slave...    
Love2


Posts: 13
The submissive is a volunteer.

The slave is not a volunteer.

This is the core and substantial difference between the two terms. Within the BDSM community this can be interpreted in this way. The submissive individual may be lightly, moderately or heavily submissive. The submissive has a desire to submit to the direction of another person which in this community we call the Dominant or Top. Their submission may be quite limited in range, for example, they may only want and desire to release their submission in a limited fashion, for short amounts of time and within tightly confined arena's. This type of submissive will generally carry a long list of rules, boundaries, limits, requirements etc. which they require the Dominant to agree to prior to engaging their submissive aspect within the relationship. Other submissives will have a more moderate (this is the largest group) approach, a stronger desire to submit for longer periods of time with fewer restrictions, limitations and requirements. A small percentage of submissives will be heavily submissive. They desire and look for a full time partner to live with on a full time basis. Their nature is to seek to express their submission as often as possible with the fewest restrictions upon their chosen Dominant as possible. Generally their list of limitations, rules and requirements may be verbal, short and flexible.

The slave is beyond the last level of the submissive. The slave vacates limits. To be a slave is to offer of self fully and without reservation. From my perspective very few individuals fall into this category. Those that do, that I know personally are generally with their Dominant for a very long period of time. Trust has been long ago established, limits and range discovered and a relationship of personal strength has emerged which allows the submissive to transcend to this level. This is a level without safewords, without limits. The slave lives with their Dominant on a full time basis and may or may not have a life external of serving their mate. The slave generally selects a Dominant with parallel limits. By this I mean that the final action of trust is the vacating of set limits. In order to do this the individual must fundamentally know that their partner shares the same 'natural' or 'inviolate' limits as they do. A Dominant has limits just like a submissive. That which falls within their natural range and desire is their arena
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Sep 6, 2009 @ 4:02 PM Differences between a sub and a slave...    
Itsasecret13


Posts: 8
Excellent description of the differences and levels. In my former practice I have worked with people involved with this a number of ties and have some first person knowledge with observing a dear friend of mine who is now more the moderate submissive but was the last description for many years of her life. Very interesting to observe in person how they and others around them react.
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Sep 7, 2009 @ 6:24 AM Differences between a sub and a slave...    
Beast369


Posts: 12
It really depends on whether you're discussing someone who just prefers their partner to be the one in the drivers seat or if you're talking about a 24/7 power exchange. Even 24/7 power exchange have safe words to prevent things from going to far.
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Sep 28, 2009 @ 12:19 PM Differences between a sub and a slave...    
CuddleDom


Posts: 5
As a Dom, there most certainly is a HUUUUGGGEEEE difference to me.

I agree mostly with some of the previous posts' explanations of the differentiations of limits etc. but wanted to add my own 2 cents on the matter.

We must first understand that the wide and wonderful world of BDSM is SO incredibly varied; a melting pot of melting pots, and each individual as different as the flakes on a field of fresh snow. It is absolutely impossible to say "All subs do/are/want this, and all slaves do/are/want that." Same goes for Doms or PYLs

As a Dom, I am by no means about blind order-shouting or whips and chains. Likewise, one cannot assume a "slave" is a spineless, decision-less coward or automaton. Nothing of the sort. I feel it is a GREAT act of strength and courage to accept and embrace one's submissive nature, and to trust someone so openly and completely as to give your whole self to them.

Having said all that nice flowery nonsense:P I think in the most basic sense it has to do with choice. A sub chooses to submit to her PYL, while a slave seems to have made the choice in the past, and made it ONCE to surrender all decisions etc to their PYL.

Admittedly, I am much more familiar with the submissive mindset and lifestyle, and do not mean at all to misjudge that of a slave which I carry only precious little understanding about. To me, it has nothing to do with the preconceptions of limits, fetishes, checklists, and personality tests, and moreso on choice and probably related to desired lifestyle and relationship dynamic.

Best,
Cuddles
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