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| May 17, 2007 @ 2:22 PM |
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER'S SOUL |
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DarkKnightWalking
Posts: 589
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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish
and worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? We think NOT
--Stephen Wright
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
QUOTABLE QUOTES
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
BEER WARNINGS
Since product liability litigation is only expected to increase in the new
millennium, beer manufacturers are considering using the FDA's suggestion
that the following ten warning labels be placed on all beer containers
produced in the US during the year 2007:
1 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
2 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.
3 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
4 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
5 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse logically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
6 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical kung-fu powers.
7- WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.
8 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead.
9 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named
Bubba.
10 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy
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| May 17, 2007 @ 5:24 PM |
CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER'S SOUL |
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bandengor
Posts: 7,299
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