AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating
search My Threads  

USA    Pennsylvania   

this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????


Oct 20, 2006 @ 7:49 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
thanks.. always nice to be wanted..

Yea, I hear ya ( about sex and a relationship ). My first marraige was such a dismal failure, because the sex became so routine, so few and far between, and well, so much a chore on her side, that it sucked all the fun out of the act.

I'm very sexually driven, so for me, yes, bad sex can end a relationship. But no, I'm not a colossal prick. I will try whatever it takes to save a marriage, but well, a marriage councelor only exposed more problems. And well, I'm no fool..

As for my current marriage.. well, there's medical reasons on her part that preclude most anything sexual. What's worse, is that it only gets worse until the eventual surgery.. But well, for me.. it seems that the whole thing goes deeper than that...

I can elaborate, but right now I'm real short for time..

Anyhoo, I did have a short affair with another woman who wasn't having any fun in her marriage ( and no, I didn't cheat, as my wife was ok with it, and was even there..). So yes, I know that some men lose interest too. But I think the majority is still on the side of the wives..

Ok.. sorry to pop in and out, but I gotta run.. Be back.
post reply view birdman67's threads
Oct 21, 2006 @ 12:51 AM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
well unfortunatly birdman although sex is important sometimes the sex can be totalling awesome and the marriage fails anyway such is the way of my first marriage. somehow tho i cant imagine having sex with someone other than my spouse with my spouse there but than i cant imagine having sex with more than me and him in the same room LOL i hope your wifes health improves tho there is nothing worse than medical problems whether they cause sexual problems or not. good luck
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Oct 23, 2006 @ 6:28 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
We look at life as something to enjoy. To that end, as we explored each other sexually, we branched out for a bit, found some other friends to enjoy sex with. It was fun for a while, but as you've pointed out, sex without a good friendship turns hollow after a while. It's nice to fulfill the carnal hunger, but after a while you just feel empty..

But yea, the medical issue will only get worse until all the whole she-bang has to be removed.. which, the stupid ass insurance company won't pay for since my wife is still too "young" at this point.. nevermind she can't have kids because of this... which is the only reason they give for not paying.. get that? Does that make ANY sense to ANYONE?? It sure doesn't to me.. but well, I'm partial to being educated.. and I hate marketing and the insurance racket..

Anyway, yea, it's going to be a longer road to reach that point, and we'll see..
post reply view birdman67's threads
Oct 24, 2006 @ 9:28 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
birdman i know this is off the topic of the thread but talk to you wife about seeing a counselor for her medical problem. sounds stupid but i will tell you why many times insurance companies will agree to those types of surgeries if it is detrimental to thier mental health. i had a friend in the same situation but she got really depressed marriage was almost to the point of quits and she started seeing a head doctor (only because i have a problem spelling psychiatrist LOL) and he wrote a letter to the insurance company and they paid for the surgery. not sure if it will work out in your wifes case but maybe something to think about.

By the way just so you know i wasnt knocking you for the sexual choices you made. I think whatever a person is comfortable with that is there choice as long as all parties agree and no one gets hurt. but for me personally i want something there besides the sex DOESNT have to be the great love of my life but there has to be something.

Have a good night.
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Oct 27, 2006 @ 10:33 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
Yea, we have looked into surgery. She's now working as an RN at Lehigh Valley, no less.. But we will look into it again. Right now things have changed quite a bit for the positive, and all of a sudden too.. I'm quite happy.

I just hope that they contine..

Anyway, as for sex in a relationship, no it isn't everything, but it is a very important aspect. My first marriage suffered horribly because it was so bad. I know that it's very important to me, and well, my wife is fully aware of it too..

But again, right now things are going along pretty well. So I'm not going to rock the boat, because I know how quickly things can change.

It sounds to me though, that you were in a similiar situation. ( where sex wasn't anywhere near all it could be ). I know how frustrating that can be.. I hope your situation steadies out..

And what do you know.. you were right!! You made a friend on here!
post reply view birdman67's threads
Oct 28, 2006 @ 11:15 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Dominus


Posts: 511
Sometimes sex doesn't come easilly, and sometimes you have to look into alternatives to make things work. All I'm saying is that with love you can always find a way to work it out.
post reply view Dominus' threads
Oct 28, 2006 @ 11:30 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
Dominus, I agree in your post that with love you can aways work it out. Sometimes we have to forgo sex in a relationship for reasons of medical or whatever. Sometimes the spouse says go out and find it since i cant offer it to you just make sure its me who is in your bed at night. But i have found that you have to both be willing to give 100%. Now somedays one will only give 40% and the other will have to give 60% and vise versa. But i have seen relationships like that work. Sex cannot be the only reason to keep a relationship together and its not the only reason it falls apart. Now im sure you will agree it doesnt have to be a deep everlasting love to have great sex but wouldnt you agree that some kind of bond between the two ppl that the sex is so much better.
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Oct 31, 2006 @ 8:33 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
Yea, sex for me is the cement that keeps the relationship strong. It can have so much meaning and can allow to people to bond very deeply. But when the sex is really bad or non-existant, it does make the relationship suffer, and it can be the catalyst that slowly sinks the ship.

I won't lie, I'm a very sexual person, always have been since I a wee little lad.. but I am willing to compromise. I do have deep feelings for my partner and want it to work, but well, when you don't see much of any compromise or care on the other side, it does make you wonder...

post reply view birdman67's threads
Oct 31, 2006 @ 10:11 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
always have been since I a wee little lad

Ok birdman did you take advantage of a little girl or did she take advantage of you LOL

Communication is the number one key in any time of relationship whether it be sexual, friendship, business or whatever. When the communication link breaks down in any relationship the relationship deteriates (sp?). Sex doesnt make or break a relationship, in my opinion, but i think when the sex stops or is almost nonexistant and one partner is not willing to discuss or compromise than that relationship is headed for failure. Unless the one who wants it more is inclined to go outside of the marriage but when the one who has stopped wanting it finds out well doomed marriage is definitely in the future.
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Nov 4, 2006 @ 6:52 AM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
Heheh..yea, we had a pretty sexually free neighborhood back in the 70's.. Sort of like a sexual "cutting teeth".. learned a lot and honed some skills..

Yea, I hear ya. No sex or really bad sex is not a death nell for a relationship but it sure does put it on shaky ground. ( unless neither person cares about the sex ). And yes, cheating is also not the answer, although in a truly open-minded relationship it can be a temporary solution. The idea that sex is tied to love is not a hard and fast maxim for me. That's not to say that sex isn't spectacular when you love someone, but for me, it also doesn't mean that you can't love one person, but have "loveless sex" with another person. Plus, there's many types of love. I love my wife, I love my parents, I love my best friend, I love my tropical bird. All different types of love and all have different meanings. ( And no, I'm not angling at polygamy here..).

I just feel that you can still love someone deeply, and still have sex outside that relationship. Sex is just an act, granted, usually an expression of love, but it is an act. I can separate the two..

And no, if I am in a relationship with a woman and we're having great sex, then there is no reason to go elsewhere..

( and yes, I realize that I'm all over the place on this too... I guess I ought to wake up fully before posting...)
post reply view birdman67's threads
Nov 4, 2006 @ 8:34 AM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
nah you dont have to wake up before you post birdman i like your confusion. LOL

I use to believe that you had to be in love with someone to have sex or if you did have sex than you were in love with them. Both of those ideas are wrong. Your right that sex is an act that takes two whether there are feelings behind them or not. I have also found that sometimes when you get into having an "affair" for lack of better word, that feelings to come. But only if there is some communication out side of the bed. And by feelings i dont mean being in love. I mean having a friend that just happens to thrill you bed and still is your friend outside of the bed.

Part of the excitement for me is after play. You know when you are totally exhausted from having hot sex and your curled up in each others arms talking while your hands are roaming all over each other. Trying to catch your breath but still wanting to be back in their building up the excitement. If there is no connection with the two in bed what the hell would you talk about?

Sometimes i think men should realize that women (some not all) like that after sex snuggling before the next round LOL Take time to get to know a woman, not just what she likes sexually but what she is like in general, her interests, what her life is about. Would probably be alot better sexually for both of you.
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Nov 4, 2006 @ 3:55 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Dominus


Posts: 511
By the way, just want you guys to know that I am paying attention, but if 'm being quiet it's because I agree with almost everything bird and laugh are saying.
post reply view Dominus' threads
Nov 4, 2006 @ 4:24 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
But Dom I like it when your not quiet but thank you SMOOCH!!!!
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
Nov 4, 2006 @ 8:45 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
birdman67


Posts: 155
I hear ya hon. In my current affair, which is incredible, we spend a good 2 hours having sex.. I then give her a good rub down and massage, then we will chat for like an hour, then another hour of sex.. and then usually we cuddle for an hour before I have to head back home.

I am somewhat concerned though, as she's only in a very weak dating relationship. I guess the guy that she's with is more interested in his work, than her. Plus she told me that he's never gotten her to orgasm.. ( then she gives me a deep kiss and thanks me for the 5 that I gave her already that night ).. Anyway, I digress.. um, but what gets me a little worried is that I don't fully know what HER intentions are. And don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid to ask, in as much as I don't have the balls to ask her.. but I am somewhat afraid of what she might say..

I would hate to have her start falling in love with me, as I am in love with my wife. I would hate to have the strife of her feeling rejected, getting upset... etc...
I guess I'll wait for a good quiet moment, be subtle, and bring it up.. She's a very nice person, I just don't feel true love for her.

And yea, I guess I'm a little selfish right now too.. I really enjoy the touch of her body.. the act of pleasing her for hours.. It charges me up.. I haven't had that with my wife in several years..

( and yes, there is a violin playing over my text...)

I must say though, when we worked together in the same office, she was quite professional, so maybe my fears are unbased.. time will tell...
post reply view birdman67's threads
Nov 11, 2006 @ 1:30 PM this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????    
Love2Laughalot


Posts: 164
birdman you know i love ya so take what im going to say from a friend to a friend perhaps you are worrying about her intentions cause your ego is telling you that. Maybe deep down you want her to love you or to want more than what it started out. Now im more than aware you are madly and truely in love with your wife but maybe deep down you almost feel that it couldnt be this good if she wasnt in love with you. Maybe you should sit down and talk to her. Maybe she is worrying about the same thing with you too. Hope all is well in your life.
post reply view Love2Laughalot's threads
USA    Pennsylvania    this site is lame.... all i see is guys...is there any REAL ladies on here??????

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02