| Jan 29 @ 3:56 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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..just another "recreational activity?" I mean, I am scarcely what you'd call "Puritanical" but, to me, sex is still an expression of *some* kind of emotion, if not love. It is an extremely intimate and bonding act, not just physically, which is a given, but psycholgically, emotionally and spiritually.
Does anyone question anymore what/who they are allowing into/around their body? I don't mean solely for health reasons, either. I'm not talking "Yeah, we both got checked (for HIV)," I'm talking about the ever-growing propensity for people to use each other as "human orgasm facilitators."
Sex is fabulous and I'll be the first one to proclaim that to the mountaintops but, try as I might, I've never been able to remove the emotional/psychological/bonding component of it. Not without a lot of alcohol, anyway.
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| Jan 29 @ 6:42 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I'm of two minds about this I guess. I WISH I could just have sex with anyone. If I could I would be seeing hookers in Montreal. But I can't. It is far too intimate for me. I would have to have a strong emotional connection.
I am hoping to get over this at some point though! There are MANY hookers up there in Montreal waiting for me.
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| Jan 29 @ 6:43 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Hmm well it appears you do have a conscience after all. Bravo for you...nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
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| Jan 29 @ 6:52 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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Yes, but I want to get RID of my conscience. It's my only hope. I know sex without love is an empty experience. But as Woody Allen once said - as empty experiences go, it's one of the best!
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| Jan 29 @ 8:19 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Why do you think it's your only hope? I don't know if you're joking when you say these things but, if you're not, if I were you I'd worry less about getting laid and more about working on your lack of self-esteem. That factor is probably why you're not getting laid to begin with.
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| Jan 29 @ 8:56 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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sumdaysoon
Posts: 11,781
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i know i talk a lot of trash in the forums but..........sex should be the ultimate act of love..........i hold that opinion in my heart.........i have searched for what my mother and father had........my mother passed away in 2002........all of my life........and the search continues........but i am a realist.........i am a sexual creature...........i have no desire to spend my life as an abstainer............i however do not claim to be able to not have an emotional connection with everyone i have had sex with............because i do.........but the realist in me keeps it in prospective.........don't know if i answered the question but i said what i wanted to say..........
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| Jan 29 @ 11:21 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Definitely answered it and I am both somewhat surprised and pleased.
Surprised because I never expected such an honest answer particularly from a man, and pleased because at least (thus far) two people besides me are willing to admit that sex is something besides a carnival ride.
I have certainly not fallen in love with every man I've ever had sex with either, in my past. But I get tons of emails from total strangers of all ages asking out of the clear blue whether or not I'd have sex with them. I mean, come on. Do they really expect me to say yes? LOL.
And how desperate is the person who would do such a thing? Pretty darned desperate, from my vantage point.
Not that they'd want to have sex with me, mind you (lol...though some may argue that point) but that they'd email a complete stranger and ask them that.
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| Jan 30 @ 8:50 AM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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catman816
Posts: 127
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it's too bad lolthisistoofunny was NOT closer . like in appleton wisconsin . I would want YOU to be where I am . here is something you will NEVER HEAR A GUY SAY OR DO . let you go shopping and the guy be with while you try on cloths . I would . sex is only at nihgt . when we both want it . YOU let it happen . I am 41 and getting older . I feel life has passed me by .
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| Jan 30 @ 9:12 AM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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I appreciate the sentiment, but ...
Here's something you'd hardly ever hear a woman say: I absolutely HATE shopping, especially for clothes.
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| Jan 30 @ 9:13 AM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Oh and sex only at night? Are you crazy? LOL.
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| Jan 30 @ 1:53 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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alybai42
Posts: 7,179
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Here's something you'd hardly ever hear a woman say: I absolutely HATE shopping, especially for clothes.
I hate shopping...If I need to buy something I go into a store get it and get out..I hate crowds..I do my christmas shopping at wal-mart at like 1:00am...I take a list..get what is on it and get out...I needed a new shirt a couple of weeks ago..I went into wal-mart..Looked at the one's on sale..Picked one out, paid for it and left..All in about 10 minutes..
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| Jan 30 @ 2:09 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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I'm exactly the same way. I'd have groceries delivered if I could. Well, I can, but it costs too much.
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| Jan 30 @ 2:13 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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alybai42
Posts: 7,179
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I hate grocery shopping also..I do go once in a while...Only because I have too. 
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| Jan 30 @ 4:30 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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aspiringwriter
Posts: 308
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sex should be the ultimate act of love
I disagree. I'm not sure what I would call the "ultimate act of love," but it would have to be some form of sacrifice without thought to self-benefit. We're talking something akin to taking a bullet or volunteering for torture, the kind of thing that doesn't occur in the course of an average person's life. I also disagree with the assertion that it "should" be anything. If it is for you, cool. I'm not saying it shouldn't be. Similarly...
It is an extremely intimate and bonding act, not just physically, which is a given, but psycholgically, emotionally and spiritually.
Perhaps for you, but not for all people. If this were the case prostitution would have ever gained traction as a profession. Since its the oldest (not actually true but true enough) and amongst the most widespread, there's clearly a demand for it everywhere and throughout history.
I honestly don't know what spiritual bonding is. I don't know how I would know if it happened, but that's because I have a hard time with the concept of 'soul'. Regardless of that, I don't feel somehow more connected to a person that I've had sex with because I've had sex with them. I don't feel like I'm now safer with them. Or like I now trust them more. I suppose in some ways it does create a bond, in that shared experiences in general do. For the record, I haven't had sex with anyone to whom I didn't have an emotional bond to.
I'm talking about the ever-growing propensity for people to use each other as "human orgasm facilitators."
I wouldn't be able to judge but I doubt it's ever-growing. (Firstly, sexual additudes of all sorts ebb and flow over time rather than have a strict progression) I think 'casual sex' gets talked about more often, but that doesn't mean it happens more often.
For the record, I would never 'let' you go shopping. If you want to go shopping or not, I wouldn't stop you. But it ain't my place to give you permission, one way or the other. Also, I would never say 'sex only at night'. So I guess, for my part, catman is right.
Anyway, there is my .01 (I reserve the other penny to be thrown in later).
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| Jan 30 @ 4:52 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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And why do you think that men visit prostitutes? What do you think they are using the sex for? Sure, just for sex, to some degree, but I'd be willing to bet you that most are looking for love, bonding and intimacy via prostitutes because they can't find it via the normal way.
I wasn't talking about safety, but I would certainly not have sex with someone whom I didn't feel safe with. Sex creates a bond with people purely by its act. Unless you think having your penis inside a woman's vagina is just as natural as shaking hands.
I wouldn't be able to judge but I doubt it's ever-growing.
It's more prevalent now than ever before and doesn't seem to be changing; hence, "ever-growing."
For the record, I would never 'let' you go shopping.
You got that right.
If you want to go shopping or not, I wouldn't stop you.
You got that right, too.
But it ain't my place to give you permission, one way or the other.
Damn skippy it isn't.
Also, I would never say 'sex only at night'.
If you did, you wouldn't be with me, that's for sure. LOL.
So I guess, for my part, catman is right.
Now that's where you've lost me. He's right about what???
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| Jan 30 @ 4:57 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Oh..and not sure, but I think sumday's comment wasn't meant to be taken as all-inclusive..I think he meant that, between two people who have a relationship, the ultimate way to express their love to each other is through sexual expression. That is what creates the intimate bond between people; that's what makes them a "couple." I don't mean that and that alone, but it certainly is what separates them from others who have merely platonic relationships. 
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| Jan 30 @ 6:57 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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aspiringwriter
Posts: 308
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I don't think of shaking hands and my penis in a woman's vagina is the same. Shaking hands, when you think about it, is far more disgusting. When you're touching their hands, your touching the hands of every hand they've touched and not enough people wash their hands thoroughly enough.  Really, as others have said rubbing asses together would be a more sanitary greeting.
Catman was saying you wouldn't hear a man say those things. I was just saying, as a man, I wouldn't say them. So he's right regarding me atleast.
On one final, nitpicking note: ever includes the days of the Roman emperor Claudius' wife, of whom it was said, 'she could take on a whole legion and still want more.' I'm not sure that casual sex is even at its most prevelent in American society. The 20's, 60's, and 80's have quiet a reputation. I could be wrong, I wouldn't know how to even begin to prove it one way or the other.
But back to the real matter here. I think one of the most loving acts I ever did was one time in particular when I dropped everything (and left my friends) to comfort my then girlfriend. It was an automatic reaction to seeing her upset. I think it was part of the bond that I had with my friends that they didn't even blink when I turned and left. My point here is that is what creates the bond. Giving somebody your time, making them the priority, etc. Not the sex. What I tend to enjoy most in a non-platonic (for the record, I hate that term) isn't the sex, per se, it's more likely to be something like the look of cotentment (that's spelled wrong but fuck it) as she sleeps next to me or the way her eyes light up when she sees me (which can happen in platonic relationships (they don't get the good press they deserve)).
Maybe it's different for you. But for me the psycholgical and emotional bonding come from conversations and shared experiences, not sex. The sex is fun but I don't feel I'm closer to the person because of it.
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| Jan 30 @ 7:33 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Shaking hands, when you think about it, is far more disgusting. When you're touching their hands, your touching the hands of every hand they've touched and not enough people wash their hands thoroughly enough.
Okay, fine. So next time you are introduced to a woman, just walk up and stick your penis inside of her.
All joking aside, what do you think you're doing when you indiscriminately sleep with lots of different people? (The collective you, mind you).
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| Jan 30 @ 7:37 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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It is what ultimately finalizes the bond and makes it a complete relationship between a man and a woman. I know what you're saying and I'm not disagreeing with you but I'm simply making a point that sex is a very bonding, intimate act between a man and a woman. Quit nitpicking, would ya? LOL.
Or maybe for you it isn't...maybe for you, like so many other men, it's just a place for you to ejaculate, so you don't quite get where I'm coming from. But yet, you still say...
well, no time to get into it in depth right now..working...
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| Jan 30 @ 9:34 PM |
Am I the only one left in the world who doesn't view sex as... |
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minky46
Posts: 23
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I think if a person ever had sex with that was also an emotional connection they
know there is no comparison.
Like Ice Cream without the toppings, boring 
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