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bondage and discipline


Aug 29, 2006 @ 3:49 AM bondage and discipline    
sweetnasty1


Posts: 2,926
Who is into this? I love being tied up and blindfolded. I love not knowing what is coming next....the feel of a whip on my body.....a feather teasing me......a man doing as he pleases with me. I'm a bad girl.
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Aug 29, 2006 @ 3:58 PM bondage and discipline    
thrdchance


Posts: 6
What I like is the spanking and the rubs before the passionate love making, teasing the woman, seating 10 inches apart from each other, not being able to touch, watching each other masturbate, inches away watching their faces before a climax, then spanking them, and having my way with them until they cum -
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Sep 1, 2006 @ 10:11 AM bondage and discipline    
maximus2020


Posts: 13
Ahh - a subject dear to my heart, (and hand).

The feel of the rope as it is draped across your body, the sound of it as the knots are formed and then oncde again the feel of the knots being tightened. The darkenss as the blindfold is placed and then the sound of a voices whsipering in your ear, teasing your mind. A prelude to the teasing of your body. Fingers exploring your helplesness, invading, touching.

And then there is the excitement of being bound under your dress and being taken out to dinner. To sit and know your are naked except for the ropes that circle your breasts, your thighs - strategically placed knots pressing and stimulating you.

Oh yes - I am into this - and the discipline too,

Max
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Sep 1, 2006 @ 10:11 AM bondage and discipline    
maximus2020


Posts: 13
Ahh - a subject dear to my heart, (and hand).

The feel of the rope as it is draped across your body, the sound of it as the knots are formed and then oncde again the feel of the knots being tightened. The darkenss as the blindfold is placed and then the sound of a voices whsipering in your ear, teasing your mind. A prelude to the teasing of your body. Fingers exploring your helplesness, invading, touching.

And then there is the excitement of being bound under your dress and being taken out to dinner. To sit and know your are naked except for the ropes that circle your breasts, your thighs - strategically placed knots pressing and stimulating you.

Oh yes - I am into this - and the discipline too,

Max
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Sep 24, 2006 @ 8:20 PM bondage and discipline    
speednut


Posts: 24
I love it, especially outdoor bondage, where I can blindfold my sweet sub and allow her keen senses to highten and bring her to the edge stopping and letting her come back then taking her to the edge again.

Spread wide open for me to enjoy and use, rope, leather, riding crops, nipple clamps, vibes there are so many different scenarios that can be played out between consenting adults
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Oct 7, 2006 @ 5:50 PM bondage and discipline    
thenewguy138


Posts: 16
I've never done anything like that, but it sure sounds like fun
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Oct 9, 2006 @ 2:55 PM bondage and discipline    
Dominus


Posts: 511
I hear what a lot of people are saying, but I am a bit concerned that not too many people seem to be bringing up the safety issues.

Any exercise that involves tools that could harm you reuqires the right know-how. Whether this is spanking, bondage, flogging, blade-play, caning or any other of the myriad fetishes.

Some people don't realize that improper spanking technique can send your lover to the chiropractor. That there are different tools and styles, as well as techniques and locations on your lover's body. Not everybody knows when they try their first flogger that there are 3 different sensation elements to every whip, and they vary from whip to whip and can be isolated or amplified by the user. Or that by balancing a cane's blows you can change the sensation from a brutal one to a massage. And let's not forget people that neglect some cardinal rules of bondage and wind up hurting or even killing their partners because they just figured that a knot is a knot.

I don't mean to chide, but please...for your sake as well as for the sake of those that enjoy the lifestyle...if you don't know what you're doing don't just go down to a toy store and buy something expecting that you can't do harm with it. Talk to someone who knows what they're doing - not just someone who thinks they do. And do some research on your own.

There's a lot of ways to have fun with this, but also a lot of ways to hurt someone. And we haven't even started on the concept of emotional scarring.
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Oct 9, 2006 @ 3:02 PM bondage and discipline    
ponme


Posts: 1,924
And for gosh sake put a key within reach of anyone in handcuffs, just in case you die or pass out.

Don't forget your safe words either, if your sub has to say them four times and then screams, "damnit if you do that one more time I will rip your nuts off and stuff them up your nose", it's going to ruin the mood.

Know your boundaries and your partner's boundaries.

I know that I love a good scene, but yes, lets be careful, let's be safe.
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Oct 9, 2006 @ 3:51 PM bondage and discipline    
DarkKnightWalking


Posts: 581
And to add...
Personally, I try everything on myself first, so as to get a true feel for pressure, pinching, loss of circulation, etc for items like clamps, restraints and such.

And for new things like floggers, whips and other items similar, I try them on my inner thighs so I know firsthand how much "flick" is too much.

Simple way to learn usage of a whip or flogger is to use it on a velvet covered pillow for practice. Velvet shows right away just how much pressure is being applied by the way it "crushes." Leaving deep strips is too hard, at least for beginners.

Always keep surgical safety scissors nearby in case you have to cut ropes or leather restraints quickly.

And speaking of restraints, never keep them on too long in one position. Readjust them often, and check your partners limbs often.

And in the cases of using mouth gags, always agree on one specific grunt or moan as a safeword, since they cant speak. Practice it with the gag on long before you start play so you both know what you're hearing.

I'm not going to go into caning, knifeplay, bloodletting, etc. I am more referring to lesser beginners play and the rules escalate by a hundredfold therein concerning what I feel is some serious play, indeed. Canes can break bones and blood vessels with little effort. Even in general a good thing to remember is that it only takes 8 pounds of force to break a bone anyway.

There's a good reason safe comes first in "safe, sane and consensual" *wink*
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Oct 10, 2006 @ 10:23 PM bondage and discipline    
LiQ_Me


Posts: 12
It all depends on what level of it you are at or want to play at. Some diehard full on BDSM exponents who live the Lifestyle 24/7 would do things with each other that would make my nipples shrink, lol. Some things make me hotter than hot but that doesn't mean I'm just a player either. I'm into it without being "INTO IT" if you know what I mean and find it pleasurable in the extreme. It's the thought of what is about to happen or nor knowing what comes next that I find most exciting. Being blindfolded and restrained is such a turn on but of course ONLY when with someone I can totally trust. I have suffered some horrible experiences in the past when those I thought I knew and trusted abused this priveledge. But I still enjoy it, just not as carefree as I once was...
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 12:07 AM bondage and discipline    
Dominus


Posts: 511
A great point, liq me. I am not a fan of definitions. What is BDSM to one person might not be the same to someone else. The best part about any relationship is talking with your partner and finding what works for you. That goes for just about any type of sex, not just BDSM, D/s, or other fetishes.

If you find something that works for you, then you're ahead of the rest of the public who're not even trying to find out and just working to fit in.

And of course: Trust is the must. In yourself as in any of your partners. While it's possible for a Dominant to mess up a relationship by betraying trust and pushing a session too far, it's just as easy for a sub to cause problems by not being honest about how much is too much for them.
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 12:14 AM bondage and discipline    
JJN4Fun


Posts: 2,999
I just have to ask, as someone completely unfamiliar with this - should a sub ever feel afraid? Like true fear? Is that part of it or is that a sign something is wrong?
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 12:42 AM bondage and discipline    
LiQ_Me


Posts: 12
Just my opinion Sxze - a sub should never feel TRUE fear, if they do then it's a dangerous out of control situation and environment they find themselves in. A sub has to give themselves totally to the one who Dominates them and that can only come about through total and unwavering trust and if True fear comes into it then the whole situation is either unhealthy or downright dangerous.
There has to be a modicum of trepidation perhaps for the unknown upcoming occurrance if the Dom has intimated about something new or unusual, but if you trust totally and implicitely then there never is a need to fear.
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 1:16 AM bondage and discipline    
Dominus


Posts: 511
I agree once again. It's a game of anticipation and wits. Surprising your partner.

Yes, there can be pain. Yes, there can be fear. But the point in both of those is to heighten the arousal, not to cross the line into mental or physical harm.

For example: One of my friends likes the feel of pressure-type pain. A hard squeeze or the heavy thud from the right flogger just melts her. another friend likes stinging pain. The idea of a sharp slap or a prick from a wartenburg wheel really drives her to arousal. I would never, out of cruelty, switch them around and give one what the other likes. That takes the fun out of it and makes for very poor play.

Another example: I'm aware of one friend's clinical diagnosis of arachnophobia. Why would I deliberately use that against them? Bringing such blatant fear into a session isn't even arousing as a power trip. There's not even any challenge to it. It makes the whole endeavor pointless and harmful.

When you cross the line into harm, then you've just thrown the relationship away. Trust flees, emotions degrade, and forget ever getting to someplace called love.

Remember, most of the encounter is mental anyway. Like a game of cat-and-mouse. You can guess who the mouse is.
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 1:36 AM bondage and discipline    
belle1010


Posts: 2,944
I have done some reading on the subject of D/s, and was surprised to learn that it's actually not the Dom that is in control, it's the sub. From what i read the sub should never feel TRUE fear, the subs control the pace, and how far the scene goes.
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 8:35 AM bondage and discipline    
ponme


Posts: 1,924
semi rebuttal: any fear is true fear. And sometimes it is good to be pushed a little ways beyond your envelope. But, the Dom has to know when to stop pushing.
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Oct 11, 2006 @ 2:32 PM bondage and discipline    
Dominus


Posts: 511
That's a really tough point to argue any way you put it.

People go to scary movies or haunted houses to entertain themselves. There is a degree of entertainment in fear, whether it's the fear of getting caught while having sex on a desk at work or the fear of walking through a cemetary late at night.

But a while ago Sxze wrote of an incident while she was at home and she saw a man with a shaved head wearing a swastika walk by her window. And she did admit she was scared...for her and her daughter.

We are able to distinguish fact from fantasy, so the fear of watching "Uzumaki" is going to be acceptable. We are able to put our trust in the professional abilities of others, so the fear of going tornado chasing is acceptable. But some things are real.

Fear is nothing more than a reminder. Like pain. They remind you that if you're not careful then you could become harmed. Using that, we make a risk assesment and take our actions from there.

While that old werewolf movie on T.V. tonight might not elicit a high degree of fear, you may opt not to watch it because you know it could give your son nightmares. When you stand at the foot of Disney's Tower of Terror ride, you may feel really nervous, but your knowledge reminds you that Disne's maintenance crews are the top in the world, so you decide that your fear shouldn't stop you from having fun.

Sometimes it's a good idea to overcome fear. Sometimes it's not. The best judge you.
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Oct 15, 2006 @ 11:28 PM bondage and discipline    
chinabull2000


Posts: 98
The true sub will NEVER feel fear, only anticipation, pleasure (or perhaps pain) and a desire to serve and be served. And yes, the Dom serves equally as much as the sub, altghough in a very different way.

The lifestyle, whether or not it is 24/7, is a truly exciting and wonderful thing, if the Dom and sub have set their limits and guidelines. The trust and love in this kind of relationship is usually far stronger than in a "vanilla" relationship.

And hell yes I love some BDSM, to varying degrees: there is something SO exciting about the "power" involved, whether you be on the Giving or receiving end!
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Oct 16, 2006 @ 12:07 PM bondage and discipline    
ponme


Posts: 1,924
I must respectfully disagree. Many times a 'true' submissive will feel moments of fear. Yes, excitement, yes anticipation but the unkown quantity is going to cause a moment's fear. Why are we so worried about the fear? It's normal.. it's that mitigating factor that keeps us from jumping off that bridge.

Certainly if the fear is excessive there is a problem. But you ask around, I bet that most submissives will tell you that fear is a part of the equation, even part of the excitement. Especially in a new situation. Say, a new Dominant comes into the picture, the submissive has no idea how far this Dom will push him/her, there is fear there. Once it has become a comfortable longer term relationship, the fear might not be as prominent.. but even then with something new.. it will return.
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Oct 16, 2006 @ 1:00 PM bondage and discipline    
chinabull2000


Posts: 98
And I must respectfully retract my previous statement! You are right ponme, fear IS a part of the equation especially in a new M/s or D/s partnership, but I think that there are so many different kinds of fear: in my limited D/s experience, I would say that the true fear is that of displeasing your Master or Dom, and not "necessarily" of the punitive measures that may follow, although they certainly may create a large amount of trepidation and nervousness.
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