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marriage and sex......


Apr 27, 2007 @ 7:18 PM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
this is mostly for all the married, previously married, or equivallent to married people out there.....because the rest of us havn't been there, but I still welcome your comments....I hear lots of you stating that once your married you don't get sex often enough.....I ask you to ponder this thought.....how often did you get it on average when you were single?....probably less than you get it now right?....and how much effort are you putting in to get it?.....are you just taking advantage of the fact that, well, I'm married now, so I'm entitled to sex?...or are you still doing the little things for your spouse that made him/her desire you to begin with?.....I know that during my longest common-law relationship (10years)...we never stopped having sex every single day!.....I know that's not typical, but why not?.....tell me your thoughts people.....
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 8:16 PM marriage and sex......    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,500
A-h-h-h-h-h-h-hhh...!!! . .Every Day . . . The Good - 'ol - Days...!!!
No need to do all the Little things...
when you're Both Nymphomaniacs....IS There...'me' . . ???
{ I _KNEW_ you and I had a special 'Bond'...!!!}
***Siiiiiiiigghh...!!! ***
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 11:26 PM marriage and sex......    
NastyGentleman


Posts: 42
There are many reasons that can cause a married couple to not have sex as much as they used to. Work schedules, kids, fatigue are just some of the outside factors that can contribute to such a situation.

But in good strong relationships, there is another factor. When people truly love each other and become a part of each other, the act of love becomes the ultimate unslefish act. It is the act of giving one's self completely to the other person. When these people are living together every day and are partners in their life together, love making is no longer the only opportunity to give themselves to their partner. When you get to the very core of it, their partner -- in one way or another -- becomes the ultimate purpose behind everything they do. And so they give of themselves to their partner-- in one way or another -- countless times over the course of every day. So it is not a case of "suppressed passion." On the contrary, it is "EXPRESSED passion"....expressed in a miriad of ways every day. If they make love every day, that is wonderful. But passion resides in everything they do for each other and do together...even the little things. The passion is there. There are just so many more way to express it, nuture it, and share it.
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 12:19 AM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
well I agree with you 100% NastyG.....but that just reinforces my question of why are so many married folks complaining .....they have much more opportunity to share themselves with a partner than the average single person right?....and I understand about fatigue, kids, work etc....but if those are factors does that give you an excuse to complain?.....instead of complaining about a situation, shouldn't they use that energy to try to make an effort to change what they don't like?........just wondering?????
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 12:22 AM marriage and sex......    
sumdaysoon


Posts: 11,781
ok i'm not much of a complainer or whiner...........neither of those fix anything......i am a doer.........i am going to do something to make a change.......either make it better or make it worse.............cause doing nothing changes......nothing..........so you may ask yourself why am i here cause i'm married.........i'm doing something to make a change.........good or bad it is my choice..........
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 12:27 AM marriage and sex......    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,500
I'm making an effort to G E T Married...!!!
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 1:13 AM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
ok i'm not much of a complainer or whiner...........neither of those fix anything......i am a doer.........i am going to do something to make a change.......either make it better or make it worse.............cause doing nothing changes......nothing..........so you may ask yourself why am i here cause i'm married.........i'm doing something to make a change.........good or bad it is my choice..........
excellent attitude Sums....I always knew I liked you ...and you remind me everyday, (intentionally or not) why I feel that way
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May 1, 2007 @ 11:07 AM marriage and sex......    
ynot7769


Posts: 17,358
well i'm not gonna get married to not have lots of sex i can do that now
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May 1, 2007 @ 12:02 PM marriage and sex......    
lintroller


Posts: 293
Yikes, this is opening a can of worms. Well, I think my wife and I both admit that we need to invest more in reinforcing the initial attraction. It turns out, though, that it's easier said than done. I have to say, I never would have guessed going in that outside stressors could have such a dramatic impact on what is otherwise a really solid foundation for marriage, but they're actually a huge factor. She's constantly working to the point of exhaustion and sees no end in sight. I'm about to start working 90+ hours a week. She has health issues that further stress us both out, takes medication that probably affects her libido, and is currently the only breadwinner in our household. We're also terrified of getting pregnant, because she takes a medication that causes serious birth defects and is contraindicated in pregnancy. She can't take oral contraceptives because of a lipid disorder, so we only use condoms, which means we kind of need to time sex wisely and be incredibly careful. All of that fear, combined with extreme infrequency, almost makes the act itself somewhat of a chore sometimes. It's what we're used to, and we've never been single, having met early in college; still, though, it's obviously far from ideal. And the fact that I'm even on this site shows you that I have some internal conflict about the situation.

Ugh... too much information?
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May 1, 2007 @ 12:08 PM marriage and sex......    
ynot7769


Posts: 17,358
Lin..VERY thought provoking......and hell i've never been married
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May 1, 2007 @ 12:12 PM marriage and sex......    
lintroller


Posts: 293
ynot... lord knows it's not for everyone! lol.

btw, this is off topic, but as I wrote my gym membership blog, I looked back with great fondness on our e-mails about exercise regimens from a while back!
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May 1, 2007 @ 12:32 PM marriage and sex......    
ynot7769


Posts: 17,358
btw, this is off topic, but as I wrote my gym membership blog, I looked back with great fondness on our e-mails about exercise regimens from a while back!

is it working?? i changed mine a bit...and tweeked the diet a bit too.....
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May 1, 2007 @ 3:32 PM marriage and sex......    
lintroller


Posts: 293
haven't exactly started yet; just got a trainer eval and am trying to get my wife to pony up the money. (Does this qualify as a thread hijacking?)
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May 2, 2007 @ 1:41 AM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
(Does this qualify as a thread hijacking?)
NO!....it's my thread and I give you full permission to "jack" it all you want.

btw....thank you for your very candid, and insightful comment LIN .....and sorry for your current situation.
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May 2, 2007 @ 2:32 PM marriage and sex......    
sumdaysoon


Posts: 11,781
NO!....it's my thread and I give you full permission to "jack" it all you want


i don't need your permission.....but it is kind of a sexy thought.........yea i know..........

you don't have to be married to have sex.......how about that.......
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May 3, 2007 @ 4:35 AM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
i don't need your permission.....but it is kind of a sexy thought.........
Sums you have my permission to do anything..... that's right I said anything ....so get that sexy, twisted mind of yours to work.....I'm anxious to see what your gonna cum up with first......
you don't have to be married to have sex.......how about that.......
don't have to be married to NOT have it either


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May 3, 2007 @ 8:30 AM marriage and sex......    
asiandelite


Posts: 28
They say if you put a dime in a jar every time you have sex during the first year of marriage then take a dime out every time you have sex after the first year the jar will never go empty. I can believe that. The first year sex was 2 sometimes 3 times a day. After the first year it was once a day and many days with no sex. Often sex wasn't fun the way it was. It was more like he was having it as an obligation which many times left me feeling unsatisfied. I would have felt better if I had masturbated which I did often after. Many times after dinner while he was watching television I would take a shower then put something sexy on. That worked probably 60% of the time. I'm not getting as much sex now as I did before I was married but I think that has a lot to do with age even though i'm far from old LOL. The main thing is men in the age range i'm interested in are attached in some way. I don't like doing the club scene for that purpose but sometimes a person has to do what they have to do
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May 7, 2007 @ 10:44 PM marriage and sex......    
sumdaysoon


Posts: 11,781
asia.........i heard it as putting a jelly bean in a jar..........i got huge jar full of jelly beans here........trade you for some of those dimes.........
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May 8, 2007 @ 4:51 AM marriage and sex......    
me248


Posts: 3,142
*throws some pennies on the floor, and steals some jellybeans*.....
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May 8, 2007 @ 2:08 PM marriage and sex......    
coachwaugh69


Posts: 519
I honestly think alot of people let themselves go after marriage, weight gain and not primping themselves up as they used to, making each other less desireable. Like you said, "are you doing the same things to make the other desire you". I heard though, that television has alot to do with it. Couples that have a T.V. in their rooms are less likely to be having sex. And most of all, familiarity, in and out of the bedroom (or wherever you would usually do it).
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