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FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN


Mar 21, 2010 @ 11:18 AM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
docdemmy


Posts: 7
me sometimes i think about my sister.but i know am just dreaming
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:09 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Well...there is just this small one...

You see, my downstairs neighbor is really hot. Red hair, big boobs, tattoos and piercings. So I started having this fantasy. One night, she says she ordered a small pizza but they gave her a large, so if I bring down a movie we can have a stay-in night. I think, “cool,” and choose something I think she'd like. She's into zombie flicks as far as I know.

So we're down at her place eating pizza and watching the movie when all of a sudden she starts acting kinda goofy. The sort of you're-a-friend-and-I'm-nervous-but-I-want-to-touch-you thing that usually winds up in a wrestling match or a tickle fight. Well sooner or later we're on the floor kissing and feeling each other up, rolling around and getting all hot.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:10 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Then I look up and see a bunch of lady midgets wearing jet-packs outside the window (since she lives on the second floor.) They are watching us and I'm a little worried about this but my neighbor says, “No. I want them to see.” So we keep on keeping on. In no time the small ladies outside prove themselves to be lesbians as they start kissing and fondling each other. I guess watching us got them all hot.

I'm about to put my mouth on my neighbor's pink and quivering nipple when the door bursts open. There's a man with a lariat, white cow-fur chaps, and a ten gallon hat riding the world's largest chihuahua. “Yee haw! Ride 'em pardner!” he shouts, alternatively shooting his six-guns into the air and showering us with glittery rainbow condoms he's pulling from his vest.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:10 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Just as I am attempting penetration, that's when the megalodon appears. It shoves the lesbian dwarves out of the way and smashes into the building. This is really strange because the megalodon is a fish and the nearest river is about 8 blocks away, but hey, it's phallic-shaped so I guess it goes with the fantasy more than a brontosaurus.

Anyway, the hardwood floors are giving way and we're rolling fast. We hit the condom-cowboy and get tangled up in his lasso. Before we know it we're tied together but I'm inside her, so I don't mind so much. What I do mind is that we're rolling toward the big hole in the side of the building. We fall through the hole and plunge through the air making savage love. Fortunately, we never hit the ground.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:11 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Yeah, maybe we might have been eaten by the megalodon, but the lesbians seem to be settling his hash for barging in on their party so we plummet unobstructed until we hit the couch. It seems my current landlord, the best landlord in the world ever, is moving the couch in as a favor and has it strapped to the top of his SUV. My neighbor is surprised because she wasn't expecting it to be delivered until tomorrow night, but that doesn't stop us from having sex. Always helpful, my landlord offers to give us a lift since he's in the neighborhood. “After all,” he says, “It's not my business what you do with it, it's your couch!”

We decide it has been forever since we have had Taco Bell and the one a few miles away has a drive through so we ask him: “if it's not too much...mmm...ahhh...trouble.” Being that having sex does work up your appetite. “Not at all!” he says, and cheerfully pulls away from the curb. The lesbians are still fighting with the primordial shark as we drive away. I have the sneaking suspicion they kind of like it.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:12 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
So here I am thinking it's a great night. I'm getting laid. I'll have tacos soon. Of course, that's when those damned pesky ninjas show up. Man I hate them. Now we're cruising along Route One and my poor landlord is worried that throwing stars are going to ruin the fabric on my neighbor's couch. So he's swerving while on top of the car we're still fucking like beasties and fighting off ninjas while we do it. Don't ask me where I got that axe from but everyone knows you can't use a sword on ninjas. They train with that shit so it's useless on them, but a good ole axe to the left shoulder works every time.

“I got an idea!” our landlord says helpfully, and pulls onto the overpass for I-95.

“Dammit,” I think silently. “There goes my shot at getting tacos.” Which I would never say out loud because I wouldn't want to hurt the landlord's feelings.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:13 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Once you get on the highway there you can really pick up speed until you get downtown. My neighbor starts to orgasm again and sinks her teeth into the couch cushions to deal with the mind-crushing effects of sex at eighty miles an hour. This is good because it helps keep us on the roof of the SUV as wind resistance shakes off the last of the ninjas. They are too small and light to be able to cling to vehicle rooftops at high speeds.

My neighbor gasps to say: “Wow. That was great.” However she never gets further than “wow” because the moment she opens her mouth the wind catches us and flings us from the roof of the SUV. I hear our landlord say, “Sorry!” as he drives away. I try to yell back that he shouldn't worry about it, but I'm not sure if he heard me.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:14 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
I seize the opportunity and flinging the axe into the air with a whirling motion of my wrist, I jackknife-dive our bodies, spurring on another wave of orgasms and angling us so the twirling blade slices through the lariat that bound us together. Still, we cling to each other as we sail through the air away from the high-rise highway.

We're in luck. The big strip club off Delaware Avenue has been having another of their strippers-in-bikinis-car-wash fund-raisers. The canopy is still up and we bounce off of it, rolling gracefully across the tarmac to avoid injury, and bypassing the bouncer at the door of the club. He yells, “wait!” but we're already inside.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:14 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
The strippers are in full form tonight. Sugar is doing her famous inside-out pole dance, and Champagne is sporting her new R-cup implants that the manager helped her finance. People are on the dance floor and you can smell the massive amounts of Buffalo wings that are cooking in the kitchen. Everyone seems to think we're part of the show, too, so we go on slamming to the rhythms the DJ is dropping because honestly, I haven't cum yet and one way or another I'm going to either get that or tacos tonight or I won't be happy.

Of course, by now we've been going at it for hours so I'm completely built up. I climax for a full eight minutes and twenty-six seconds, almost beating my personal best. There's so much of it that her stomach is swollen, and the floor is so wet that the bouncer that yelled at us earlier slips, falls, and will have to see a chiropractor. Fortunately, I can refer him to a good one which helps me restore a bit of my karma.

(keep reading...)
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:15 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Naked, and thrilled with the joy of afterglow, we slide into a booth to catch our breath and share a fine Cuban Churchill. While we are gasping and sweating and looking at each other with satisfied smiles, the waitress comes by and asks if we want anything to drink. My neighbor orders a cosmopolitan and I opt for a Fosters, which, because this is a fantasy, still comes in the old-fashioned oil-cans. As the waitress is walking away, I ask what the night's specials are.

“Well,” she says, “we have six kinds of tacos tonight...”

Like I said...it's just a simple fantasy...nothing special.
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 10:34 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
lunanegra


Posts: 1,478
Well, OP, that kinda beats the pants off you're gross little incest fantasy.

Oh, and dude....you don't smoke weed or take mushrooms...do you? Because that was wild.
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Mar 24, 2010 @ 11:39 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
In the words of Howie Mandel:

If I drank or took drugs...I would be so weird!
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Mar 25, 2010 @ 2:22 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
theSkwirl


Posts: 88
LMAO umm yeah... this kinda sounds like one of my wet dreams.
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Mar 25, 2010 @ 3:15 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
attractivelatinmom


Posts: 247
Wouldn't it be nice to meet a rich, good looking man who will be my best friend and lover for life
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Mar 25, 2010 @ 5:01 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
Wouldn't it be nice to meet a rich, good looking man who will be my best friend and lover for life

Eh...I'm happy with three out of four there.
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Mar 26, 2010 @ 8:04 AM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
bbadny


Posts: 197
meet a younger attractive woman,very open sexually
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Mar 30, 2010 @ 3:56 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
B9CC1D


Posts: 356
meet a younger attractive woman,very open sexually

Wow. Way to aim for the ubiquitous. That ought to make a girl feel special.
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Apr 1, 2010 @ 1:14 PM FANTASIES YOU WISH BUT CANT EVER HAPPEN    
prevert69


Posts: 9
Right now.....find someone 2 hot chat with......one fantasise at a time
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