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Pondering Attraction...


Apr 27, 2007 @ 10:59 AM Pondering Attraction...    
shellsmack


Posts: 7,775
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 11:22 AM Pondering Attraction...    
ynot7769


Posts: 20,639
see whatcha do to me
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 11:30 AM Pondering Attraction...    
bandengor


Posts: 7,768
that much is obvious
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 9:14 PM Pondering Attraction...    
shellsmack


Posts: 7,775
somebody ovulating?
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Apr 27, 2007 @ 9:26 PM Pondering Attraction...    
sundance64


Posts: 1,581
Since I'm on slow dial-up, and I'm too lazy to spend an hour reading 29 pages of posts.....and the fact that if I've learned anything in the past month that I've been here, this threads topic has probably changed half a dozen times or so....I'm going back to the original question....

Original question:
Can we control who we are attracted to? And by that same token, can we control who we attract? Anyone have thoughts on this?

I don't believe we can control who we are attracted to....we can't control our feelings, only how we act upon them....haven't you ever been attracted to someone that you know would be a terrible match for you?...if you could control that emotion wouldn't you simply turn it off, and convince yourself not to be attracted to them anymore?....and likewise, I don't believe we can control who we attract either.....we can try to deter or encourage someones attraction to us....but we can't control whether the attraction will be there or not.

Good for you me248!! We (canu and I) were just sitting here talking about the state of the forums...the older members really got into some good discussions on this one and I for one think it's worth bringing the original subject back up again!
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 4:35 AM Pondering Attraction...    
me248


Posts: 3,049
Good for you me248!! We (canu and I) were just sitting here talking about the state of the forums...the older members really got into some good discussions on this one and I for one think it's worth bringing the original subject back up again!
Thanks SunnyD....and I agree.
I've just recently began to discover more of the older subjects in the forums....and I'm finding them to have a great deal more substance and ingenuity than what's been taking place lately....not that what's happening now isn't fun, because I greatly appreciate that too....but I'd like to see more of a balance between all the goofing around and some of the more in depth topics.....LOL...and yes, I know I'm going to get razzed about saying "in depth"

And BTW, congrats to you and Canu for finding each other here.....your an inspiration to us all, and I personally, wish you all the very best life can bring!
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 5:10 AM Pondering Attraction...    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,479
. . . .
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 8:07 AM Pondering Attraction...    
sundance64


Posts: 1,581
but I'd like to see more of a balance between all the goofing around and some of the more in depth topics

That's what I'm saying! Yes...this is an adult sex site, but everytime someone gets a somewhat serious thread discussion going anymore it almost always turns into a cyber chasing, molesticating grabfest. That's all well and good but does it really have to run thru ALL the threads?

As for the original question...my feeling then was that who we are, or rather how we think of ourselves or see ourselves can somewhat determine the type of person we attract. IOW...a person who has a low self esteem will attract losers, while a person who has a higher opinion of themself will attract confident people. This isn't to say that this applies universally, just an observation of my own.
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 10:55 AM Pondering Attraction...    
bandengor


Posts: 7,768
Pondering Attraction...

Many factors. I don't think attraction to one feature is enough to blind the other features if they aren't attractive to you.
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Apr 28, 2007 @ 7:32 PM Pondering Attraction...    
me248


Posts: 3,049
That's what I'm saying! Yes...this is an adult sex site, but everytime someone gets a somewhat serious thread discussion going anymore it almost always turns into a cyber chasing, molesticating grabfest. That's all well and good but does it really have to run thru ALL the threads?
good point...and I agree....even though I've been known to be a thread jacking culprit myself on occasion....but when there's a serious thread, I'll at least try to answer it seriously the first time.....before things get too out of hand.


As for the original question...my feeling then was that who we are, or rather how we think of ourselves or see ourselves can somewhat determine the type of person we attract. IOW...a person who has a low self esteem will attract losers, while a person who has a higher opinion of themself will attract confident people. This isn't to say that this applies universally, just an observation of my own.
I agree with this statement as well.....how we feel about ourselves, and how we act, will certainly attract specific types of people....but that's not to say that we control each persons attraction to us.....just that through our actions, we have some influence over the general types of people we attract.

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Apr 29, 2007 @ 2:54 PM Pondering Attraction...    
theobono


Posts: 28
I agree. Water tends to seek it's own level
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 7:09 PM Pondering Attraction...    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,479
Excellent Point...!!!
3 or 4 full Pages in each of 4 or 5 topics..{_None of which_ get followed}..involving only 3 People gets rather Dull.....Doesn't it...???
They become 'Chatrooms' . . .
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 10:39 PM Pondering Attraction...    
sundance64


Posts: 1,581
Nat...they've always been sort of like chat rooms. But the 'chat' revolved around a specific topic and it usually stayed on topic...more or less. There were threads created just for the cyberfun that seems to run rampant thru here...lets give these new threads...or old ones revived...a chance!

I agree. Water tends to seek it's own level

But does that mean that only losers will be attracted to people with low self-esteem? Or that people with a higher self image will only attract others the same?
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Apr 29, 2007 @ 10:45 PM Pondering Attraction...    
shellsmack


Posts: 7,775
There is no control...what will be will be!!
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 12:18 AM Pondering Attraction...    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,479
- N / C -
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 4:40 AM Pondering Attraction...    
me248


Posts: 3,049
But does that mean that only losers will be attracted to people with low self-esteem? Or that people with a higher self image will only attract others the same?

no....because I know for a fact that people with a higher self image will attract some people with a low self image.....because the person with the low self image "looks up" (with envy and admiration) to the other person ......they might never let their attraction be known, because they are too shy....but it's there.....I don't know if someone with low self esteem would attract anyone other than someone the same, or even worse than they are though.
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 6:20 AM Pondering Attraction...    
openlove


Posts: 30
High or low what does it matter.

everyone is worthwhile.

relationships are about who is involved. I do notice that most are specific in the hope that someone

1) has the patience to read the profile
2) trusts that the profile is an accurate representation of the person
3) actually fits the requirements

do an experiment, be really specific on the search and see what comes up, and we can post the results.
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 4:17 PM Pondering Attraction...    
Natgoat


Posts: 1,479
Good Idea..!!
Thanx, ' Prof.' .. . . . !
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 7:08 PM Pondering Attraction...    
me248


Posts: 3,049
High or low what does it matter.

everyone is worthwhile.
well, of course everyone is worthwhile....I'm not saying they aren't.....we are just discussing what types of people are attracted to other types... and if we can control the attraction or not.
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Apr 30, 2007 @ 8:28 PM Pondering Attraction...    
ynot7769


Posts: 20,639
as a general rule we tend to attract the same types over n over UNLESS we start to do things different in our methods of meeting people and maybe even how we treat them
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