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| Dec 25, 2007 @ 8:07 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I suppose a guy like me should just settle for whatever he can get, right? Is that the kind of thinking I should be having about dating and mating, as I like to call it.
Should I be looking for a woman similar to me - introverted. Or should I be looking for someone the opposite?
Then there's the age thing. I'm afraid that I'm not generally attracted to women my own age. What would be the point of it anyway if there's no chance that she will be having my child? I really would like that to be at least a possibility.
How do people decide who to be with??????
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| Dec 25, 2007 @ 8:14 PM |
confused about what I want |
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ravens_day
Posts: 2
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Hell I made 4 wrong choices and now I give the fuck up! I am not looking to get married every again...I do not recommend it...EVER. I had thought to find a person that I could be with now and again, but that does not seem to be going to happen.
Good luck. You will find someone. One day someone will walk by and sweep you off your feet, when you least expect it.
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| Dec 25, 2007 @ 8:20 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I used to think that I would just meet somone someday and it would be BANG - Instant attraction. And that would lead to it. But if it hasn't happened by now, it's not going to happen. I am going to need an evil diabolical plan to get a mate I think.
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| Dec 25, 2007 @ 9:45 PM |
confused about what I want |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Define "a guy like you." Doesn't sound very promising. And if that's the way you feel about yourself, how can you expect anyone else to feel any differently?
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| Dec 27, 2007 @ 5:51 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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A 40 year old virgin guy.Who worries about an imminent zombie attack. And likes teenage girls. I'm BAD.
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| Dec 27, 2007 @ 6:08 PM |
confused about what I want |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Mayhaps it's time to reorganize your dating portfolio.
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| Dec 27, 2007 @ 7:04 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I don't date. I got one date with a very overweight woman two years ago. None since. I've been seeking out online friends. I only have one who has stuck with me in the past 2 years - an 18 year old from Europe. She is just as weird as I am. A real sweet girl. I really like her.
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| Dec 27, 2007 @ 7:46 PM |
confused about what I want |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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No, I mean maybe you should consider meeting and getting to know women who aren't young enough to be your daughter.
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| Dec 27, 2007 @ 8:16 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I do know women who are older. I have some 20 year older women friends. I like balancing that with 20 year younger friends. I guess. I'm never going to have a daughter either. Sad - it would be nice.
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| Jan 12 @ 9:55 PM |
confused about what I want |
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dogger250r
Posts: 17
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are you confused about what you want or are you self concoius of what other people think of you? the reason I ask is you had one date in 2 year's is low if your looking for a mate. if your happy with being single there's nothing wrong with it though. but I'm assuming your not because your here. I would say smile and wing it and see what you come up with and evaluate after a few more dates.
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| Jan 21 @ 7:28 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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Right now I can't even date - I got butched by a dentist and I'm in a lot of discomfort. It may be some time before I am in any shape to date. Dating is scary too - see the 40 year old virgin movie.
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| Jan 23 @ 3:42 AM |
confused about what I want |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 279
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Yes dating can be scary.. feeling sorry for yourself can be scary too. Life is way to short to not take life by the horns and jump in and participate. I know we all have our personal preferences of who or what we like in a potential mate, but what could you possibly have in common with an 18 year old. You are indeed old enough to be her dad. You do not need an evil diabolical plan to get a mate, but you sure are not going to find someone chatting on line with teen-agers. I am not sure if you are familiar with meetup.com. There are several groups you can join. These groups give you the opportunity to meet people who share your interests. You may just find that special lady waiting for you there. Good luck to you and may you lose your virginity with someone special soon.
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| Jan 23 @ 6:06 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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Thanks Dove. But I'm not giving up on the evil plans just yet.
The 18 year old European girl really likes me. I like her too. She suffers from the same type of anxiety that I have. She is in the same place that I was when I was her age. That is a lot to have in common. I am helping her through life as much as I can. I know we are not going to devirginate each other or anything. That's alright. I really have strong feelings for her and she for me. That can't be wrong.
I managed to actually have some phone conversations with a local 18 year old. She had a lot of anxiety too. I liked talking to her. She was so much different from me and that is what made it fun and interesting. I guess it makes me feel young again. She would tell me about how she used to get shitfaced before she gave up drinking. I like that expression - never had shitfaced when I was that age. It doesn't look like I am going to hear from her again though.
My assistant at work has an 18 year old daugther. I talk to her sometimes when she calls for her mother. About zombies and who would win a fight between Yoda and Magneto. Who would you rather have with you during a zombie attack? I don't see what's wrong with it. She's cute. I would certainly never touch her.
Maybe a 25 year old Dominican? One of the women at work is getting divorced and her husband is seeing a 25 year old Dominican who he met online. HOT HOT HOT!!! I find Asian women irresistably beautiful though. Maybe I should go looking in the Philippines.
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| Jan 26 @ 6:11 AM |
confused about what I want |
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maddog256
Posts: 5
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Hmm not to jump to conclusions but i'm guessing from what you've been saying, your the kinda guy knows all the little extra stories to starwars right? As for the whole age thing, ppl will think its "wrong" for there to be such an age difference between two ppl. Its just how they react.
As for the Euro girl, you say you've been chatting with her, is that just online or actual phone talking?
I think its a good start you two have feelings for each but i believe that no matter what, you shouldn't push a relationship into being something more than it should be. I've had plenty of friends who i could've dated but i didn't and were still good frends today.
I spose i'm "lucky" cos i'm the go-to guy. I'm the one my frends come to when they have problems. Which is nice, but can also be very frustrating. It takes a lot of patience to not take advantage of a relationship, so whatever you do, go sloooooow =D
Best of luck,
Tony
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| Jan 29 @ 7:31 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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Sorry Tony - don't know too much Star Wars. I do worry about zombie attcks a lot. I hear that there's an old missle silo around that might make a great zombie shelter.
My Euro-girl does not talk on the phone much. She does say that she would like to meet me some day. I want to be her go-to guy. I have been these past couple of years. I like it.
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| Jan 30 @ 7:10 PM |
confused about what I want |
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aspiringwriter
Posts: 308
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I don't have anything useful to add here. I just wanted to mention I had a dream last night about a zombie invasion. I was riding in a van with a bunch of people. The driver hit a zombie and somehow in the process managed to get knocked out. We fled the van and ran into a church. A lone zombie followed us in. Even though there were five of us and one zombie, we split up to look for hiding places and that's when I woke up. What does this dream mean? Does it mean I watch too many zombie flicks or perhaps that I don't watch enough? Or maybe there's some bizarre Freudian message I'm missing.
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| Jan 31 @ 10:51 AM |
confused about what I want |
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aspiringwriter
Posts: 308
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I do have something potentially useful to contribute now. I would advise you to try to date as many women as you could that you found atleast slightly attractive. I think if you wait for the perfect person to magically find you, you a) missing out on alot of potentials and b) will only know your self in the abstract. To clear up the confusion about what you want, you have to try things out. See what fits and what doesn't. This will also make you better suited if/when your ideal match comes along. We as humans learn from our mistakes better (in my experience) than we learn from careful study and introspection (not that introspection is useless, just that hands on is better). But also, how do you know that somebody is not for you. I usually don't have a clear sense myself until after the third date. (the first date only comming after initial conversation). Just my .02
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| Jan 31 @ 5:54 PM |
confused about what I want |
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40yearoldvirgin
Posts: 455
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I may try dating in March. I've been looking around online though, and it don't look so good here. Not just this site, but many other more popular sites. Maybe I should work on my real life aking out technique.
I can't believe you ran away from one zombie. Just ONE? Couldn't you find a weapon? Bash it's brain in! BASH BASH BASH!!
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| Jan 31 @ 6:46 PM |
confused about what I want |
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aspiringwriter
Posts: 308
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about the zombie, I half-think my mind woke me up because it felt I was being stupid for running.
about the dating, I personally have never tried this and I could swear I already read somebody saying this already (but I can't remember where), but you may want to check out Neil Strauss' book The Game, or Mystery's Method (the guy that did the VH1 reality show "The Pick-up Artist") or something else that offers an organized, logical approach to seduction/dating. You may it helpful in terms for overcoming anxieties with regards to interacting with women. Just a thought.
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| Feb 6 @ 8:00 PM |
confused about what I want |
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bandengor
Posts: 7,299
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