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| Dec 24, 2007 @ 8:59 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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ravens_day
Posts: 2
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Be with you, tell you how much he misses you when you arent with him. Call you non stop. Then vanishes? I know I held back on my feelings. I had just gotten out of a bad marriage and did not want to rush into anything. I met him on here. We "dated" for nearly 3 months. I had began to care about him and thought he was starting to feel the same way. Then one day he is gone. No words, no Goodbye, no I have found someone else. Nothing. RW if you are reading this, I miss you. I hope you are well and that you find what ever it is that you are looking for.
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| Jan 18 @ 6:09 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Barring a tragedy of some kind that you're unaware of, or pertinent information that we're unaware of, lack of accountability, for one thing.
And if he's that much of a coward from the beginning, imagine what you'd have likely gone through throughout the entire relationship.
As tough and confusing as it is, be glad he's gone. Anyone who would do something like that is totally lacking in character, IMO.
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| Jan 26 @ 6:27 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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maddog256
Posts: 5
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I agree with above. There's only a few reasons
a) something bad happened unexpectedly (like really really bad. so bad in fact to forget about letting you know)
b) He chickened out and left
c) he was lying from the start
d) maybe he has a mental illness (i've seen it before)
lol rereading what i just wrote, maybe thats not the most comforting thing to say, but honestly do you really want someone who leaves you alone without a reason. I say life goes on, with or without you, so jump on and enjoy it
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| Jan 26 @ 6:37 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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ynot7769
Posts: 17,358
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not just MEN do this on the net...women do it too 
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| Jan 26 @ 8:12 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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Yes, but the OP was not questioning or concerned with women who do it or why they do it; she was relating a personal experience of hers, which was concerning a man.
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| Jan 26 @ 8:40 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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ynot7769
Posts: 17,358
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yes and? 
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| Jan 26 @ 8:54 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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And so the comment about "but women do it to!" wasn't necessary or pertinent to the discussion?
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| Jan 27 @ 4:23 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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ynot7769
Posts: 17,358
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sry for interupting with another thought...........
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| Jan 27 @ 9:24 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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Ewe_Wish
Posts: 6,969
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Before you judge him to harshly, you probably should wait and see is you ever hear from him again.............I know this because i fell in love with someone and i knew he loved me and one day he just disappeared........i was hurt, i was angry and i was confused..........You see I knew he loved me..........and wondered how he could walk out of my life.......our life that we had planned together.......several months later i heard from him.............there was a tragic event in his life that was so horrible it tore his world apart, (and yes i checked it out to make sure it was true....cause after all that time my trust level was shaken pretty deeply) I dont know if he will ever be ok after what happened..........tho i am in contact with him now. limited contact............he just isnt the same man that he once was.......i only hope and pray that he will recover and be able to get on with life.
Dont judge him to harshly..........not until you know for sure..........you may think things and say things that later will haunt you.
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| Jan 27 @ 9:54 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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I have to disagree with that. Unless it was a tragedy that kept him from making a phone call, I could not excuse any reason why a man would not, within a reasonable amount of time, have the courtesy to call and explain what had happened.
It's not a matter of obligtion so much as it is a matter of simple courtesy. Even a tragedy does not excuse lack of simple manners, IMO. I know that I would never, under any circumstances (barring my own demise), disappear on someone whom I had been talking to on a regular basis without taking the brief time it would take to be courteous enough to call them and let them know what was going on.
But I know that, sadly, consideration for others' feelings is becoming a thing of the past these days.
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| Jan 27 @ 10:03 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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Ewe_Wish
Posts: 6,969
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Well its good to disagree..................in the situation i was talking about had that happened to me.........manners would have been the least of my worries......i would have disappeared from everyone and everything to sink myself into grieving.........but i guess you would have had to been there.
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| Jan 27 @ 10:15 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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lolthisistoofunny
Posts: 516
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I understand what you're saying but I cannot think of anything that would excuse not having the courtesy to let you know what was going on. (Like I said...circumstances that were out of his control notwithstanding). If he was dead, in a coma, or some tragedy happened that mentally affected him so bad he was hospitalilzed or whatever, I could see it. But if he's able to function in other ways, he's able to pick up a phone and have the courtesy to let you know what's going on. And when I say "you," I'm not talking necessarily about your particular situation, but just in general. Maybe in your situation there was a valid reason he couldn't contact you; I don't know.
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| Jan 27 @ 6:53 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 279
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Raven human behavior can be mystifying its hard to understand why people do what they do. First of all I am so sorry you are hurting. I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. I met a man on line, we talked on the phone for hours and then we met. We had instant chemistry, it was very strong. He called me three times on my way home. Everytime we got together it was the same. Then without warning he stopped calling. I was perplexed and hurt. I left him a couple of voice mails and then let it be. A month later he called and apologized , he told me he had too many things on his plate right now and needed to fix himself before taking this any further. I accepted his apology and was glad he had not been a victim of something catastrophic. We said our goodbyes and that was that. A year later he called again. Said he missed me and wanted to see me again. Would I be willing to take a chance on him again. I hesitantly agreed. We spent Christmas night together and the chemistry was still there. I agreed to go out with him on New Years eve.The next day I could not even get him to leave my house. He hung out all day. That was the last time I ever saw him. I never heard from him again. Till this day I have not a clue why he disappeared the second time.
I hope you get the answers you need. In the meantime I hope this gets easier for you.
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| Feb 4 @ 12:36 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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shellsmack
Posts: 7,648
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animals they are...simply animals 
I've had it done to me in "real" life.
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| Feb 4 @ 9:12 AM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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Guiltless
Posts: 233
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We seem awfully quick to condem this guy. There are always three sides to a story, Her side, His side and what REALLY happened.
Is it possible that he finally saw there was no future in the relationship and simply bailed. No drama no long drawn out heartfelt E-mails, he simply walked away.
We'll probably never know, or what brought him to arrive at the decision.
People change, they grow and mature (Hopefully) and through life find and define what they like or dislike in a relationship.
Ravens_day, your a beautiful lady with many things to offer. The right man is still out there for you.
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| Feb 6 @ 7:57 PM |
What Causes a guy to... |
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bandengor
Posts: 7,299
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