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Monogamy and wanting to cheat

Dec 8, 2007 @ 6:34 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 511
"yeah,I tend to go off on tangents"

I went off on a tan gent once. Well, he really pissed me off!
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Dec 9, 2007 @ 8:04 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 7,775
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Jul 10, 2010 @ 5:43 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 116
When I was married I had several chances to cheat. I came very close a coupe of times. Why didn't I? mostly because of my 2 sons. The last thing in the world I wanted was to hurt them. The way things turned out I wish I had cheated now
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Jul 11, 2010 @ 9:19 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 125
We met a couple at a club and got to be good friends with them. Tom was a very good looking man, The more we got to know he and his wife the more I thought about him to the extent I wondered what sex would be like with him. Our marriage was going downhill. One Saturday night Leanne, Tom's wife, was out of town so it was Tom, my husband and me at the club. My husband was drinking more than usual. An arguement started. He was yelling and carrying on embarassing me to no end. He got up and stormed out of the club leaving me with Tom. We waited and waited for him to come back but he didn't. Tom offered me a ride home. I didn't have much of a choice so I left with him. I couldn't help but notice his profile. Very strong and sexy. I slid over closer to him. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me even closer. Instead of going straight home we went to a hotel. We had sex until 2:30 the next morning then he took me home. It was the best sex I had in months. We ended up having an affair that lasted for 5 months
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Jul 12, 2010 @ 4:34 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 814
Never have and never would cheat in a relationship. I've been on the other end of that before, and I'd rather not be the person to cause that type of pain to someone else.

I may not be perfect, but I'm proud of that.
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Jul 12, 2010 @ 9:00 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 376
Being with another man never entered my mind when my husband was alive. We were partners and lovers in every way
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Jul 12, 2010 @ 2:16 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 7
I have considered cheating but I do think about my kids....but I have opened my mind to the idea and if the opportunity presented itself I don't know what I would actually do.
There are many things I love about my wife and many things I can't stand (her anti-sexual behavior for one). We had a great sex life before we got married but once I said "I do" everything changed. No more fanatsy talk, no more wild nights, no more toys. We have very vanilla flavored sex now and it does very little for me. I need excitement and I'm not getting it at home and I have tried to do things on my side to get her into things again but nothing has worked. Divorce is not an option at the moment for a few good reasons but I won't be able to live like this for much longer.
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Jul 29, 2010 @ 8:29 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 193
My husband was cheating. We now have an open marriage so neither of us has to cheat. We have sex with whoever, whenever we want to but not with each other
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Aug 4, 2010 @ 12:57 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 1,478
I dont feel that something like open relationships are the infallible band-aid for the broken marriage...prolly only acerbates the problem, imo.

This is why marriage and the idea of monogamy is such a shit joke.
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Aug 6, 2010 @ 5:24 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 646
I never cheated on my ex when I was married to him. I'm pretty sure he cheated on me. But by that time, the marriage was pretty much over, so it didn't damage me as much as it might have had it happened toward the beginning of the marriage.
I don't believe in cheating. I don't believe in withholding sex from a partner in order to change him or make him become what I think he should be. Sex isn't a tool. I know it sometimes can be a power issue.
I met a guy from here a LONG time ago. He was married. I didn't think I'd have a problem seeing him, and didn't really, until HE freaked out and went nuts. It's too bad, really, because he was the best sex I've ever had in my life. I fell in love with him, actually. But he didn't know what he wanted. Or he did know what he wanted- the best of both worlds. He was SO at odds with himself that he started treating me like a doormat or his whore. He called me one afternoon and asked me to meet him at a hotel (he traveled a lot). I drove two hours to meet him. We had sex and right in the middle of it decided he couldn't handle what we were doing and sent me packing. That was the absolute LAST time I played the "other woman"! Never again.
I know that I could never cheat on my spouse/boyfriend/lover. And if you're in a situation where you're thinking about it, there are serious issues with the relationship. I think monogamy is fine- even marriage is fine. But both parties have to be willing to work at it- I know it isn't a job- but a relationship requires similar attention to detail I think. I guess it just depends how important the person is to you as to how much energy and work you're willing to put into it. I always think that you get out what you put into something....but I may be old-fashioned in my thinking. It's prolly why I'm single today!
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Aug 29, 2010 @ 11:37 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 40
Yeah, hind sight eh?

I mean, other than the context of this thread, doesn't the past just kill ya?

I don't have one per say, but I stay away from my family. They are always talking about their mistakes and it just gets so old... Who slept with who, who's pregnant and who's in jail. Who's drunk.... Eh, blah. That was one reason I wanted to spend so much effort into who I wanted to be together with. Then reality sets in, and I realized, phuck, everyone is like this. Arg. My mom said, "You need a good Christian woman.", and I thought, wow, could it get any more boring than that. I like what you said about sex not being a tool. That's what the women in my family use it for, hehehe.

Back to context, however, cheating is really just the pits. Glad I never did it. To the OP, lemme ask you this. So, maybe all your philosophical work led you to believe that monogamy is stupid. Would you want the mother of your children banging your neighbor? If yes, do you really think shes a better person because of it?
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Aug 31, 2010 @ 9:45 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 169
I never had any reason to cheat. neither did my ex. My ex was a great lover. I did everything possible to keep him happy in and out of bed. I can't recall, even once, one of us telling the other we weren't in the mood. If sex was the only thing that kept a marriage together we'd still be married
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Sep 2, 2010 @ 7:31 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 20,639
never truly understood cheating..if your not happy..move on and find happyness
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Sep 5, 2010 @ 9:45 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 67
Not that I couldn't have or never had the chance to cheat when I was married but I never did. The only reason I didn't is because I knew the guilt would have been very obvious. I'm not good at holding things in, guilt that is
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Sep 10, 2010 @ 8:10 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 115
The thought of cheating never entered my mind. My husband always made sure I was satisfied
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Sep 11, 2010 @ 1:29 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 164
after we seperated we were both fooling around so I don't consider it cheating. when things were good I didn't even though I knew he had a gf on the side
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Sep 11, 2010 @ 4:23 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 659
I never cheated but i've never been married
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Sep 16, 2010 @ 9:41 AM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 20,639
still don't understand the point in it......happy good...unhappy LEAVE
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Sep 20, 2010 @ 6:04 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 287
The only way I would cheat is if he gave me reason to then it would be a payback not cheating
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Sep 20, 2010 @ 6:06 PM Monogamy and wanting to cheat    

Posts: 20,639
pay back??? ain't better revenge so to speak to just live a happy life??
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