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Advice on meeting (particular) women


Jun 18, 2006 @ 10:26 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
nightstrike


Posts: 20
This is probably not the best site to ask this sort of question, being that it's geared towards porn over anything else... but what the heck... I've tried a lot of other stuff that didn't work, too.

I want to meet people that don't drink. This has proven insanely difficult. I don't care about much... intelligence, appearance, personality... that can always be addressed. Want to be smarter? I'll teach you things. Want me to be smarter? I'll learn fast. Extreme Makeover has proven that looks don't matter... you can always change them given enough effort. Personality... heck, I'll make anyone feel comfortable, open up, loosen up, tighten down.... whatever. The point is... everyone's life is different. Some people look for tall dark and handsome. Some people look for short fat and ugly. I look for nondrinkers, be it for friends (guys and girls) or something more (girls only). But....... of all the stuff I know how to do and have learned how to do in life, this.... this is an obstacle I've not been able to tackle properly. So, I'm looking for ideas. Any suggestions?

Oh, as a note..... I'm not asking for anyone to tell me to change my desires. I'm not asking for anyone's opinions on why I feel the way I do. I'm not asking for anyone to tell me this is impossible and won't work. If that's all you've got, find a different thread. If you have constructive ideas on how to find people that don't drink, I'm all ears. I will listen and apply any ideas that have a remote chance of working, and I will let you know if the idea was successful so that we can perhaps improve upon it as a working group.

In return for help, I will give anything I can. I am knowledgeable on a vast array of subjects. I have unique skills that may be of assistance, be it online or offline. I can help out in numerous key esoteric areas. If you have a need... send me a note and I just might be able to fill it.
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Jun 19, 2006 @ 9:08 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
scarletsara


Posts: 77
How about church, or if you don't mind a reformed drinker AA.
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Jun 19, 2006 @ 10:29 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
chinabull2000


Posts: 98
I want to meet people that don't drink. I don't care about much... intelligence, appearance, personality...
Surely anywhere that doesn't serve alcohol.. after all, you're never gonna know if they drink or not until you get to know them. Church, the gym, PTA, the park, anywhere really, you'll know if they drink once you start talking to them.
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Jun 19, 2006 @ 12:20 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
nightstrike


Posts: 20
The church I go to has a very old constiuency. Now, I have nothing against the older generations, but I don't think a 70 years young grandmother is going to give me the highest probability of success. Numerous people have suggested church, but I really don't understand it. I must live in a very atypical area for church-going types. Or, perhaps, the youth in my area simply chooses elsewhere. Also, I'm not in a college town, so that probably is a big factor.

And no, I don't mind a reformed drinker. I don't think a person should be condemned for the past when they are no longer there. In fact, when you have an ugly past and you totally turn yourself around.... that should be lauded with much praise.
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Jun 21, 2006 @ 2:10 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
licker49


Posts: 30
nightstriker...my suggestion would be the same as most here. look someplace where drinking is not the main reason for being there. there are plenty of places to look for a partner. go where you are comfortable and chances are you will find someone who is also comfortable there.

now...can you repair my apartment? i was flooded out by hurricane rita and the complex can't keep workers! thanks! the licker
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Jun 21, 2006 @ 8:53 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
nightstrike


Posts: 20
hrm... Though I appreciate your ideas, if that worked well, I probably wouldn't be posting here. It's not that the idea doesn't have merit -- it's valid. Want dry women? Go where they are. However.... that's like saying, want an atomic bomb? Go build it. Sure, it's possible, but it's not practical. For one thing, I don't actually know where they are. (Corollary: do you know where to readily get plutonium?) Perhaps that's a good place to start.

Regarding your apartment, I won't be down in your neck of the woods anytime soon. There was a possibility of being in the Gula area, but that's out. I can, however, answer any questions you might have regarding rebuilding. My construction skills are great and many.
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Jul 5, 2006 @ 4:15 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
PRADA


Posts: 465
Did you ever think of just meeting a woman who may be a social drinker now but may be willing to stop all together if she met the right guy who asked her to?
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Jul 7, 2006 @ 2:54 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
marilynm


Posts: 26
I suggest you try PRADAs advice. I use to be a social drinker, but because my fiance don't drink I don't drink.
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Jul 8, 2006 @ 3:47 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
Halfevl333


Posts: 15
Join clubs, groups or organizations in your area... Find others with the same hobbies and likes that you have and get to know people in the groups they hang out with...

MeetUp.com is a good place to go to find groups... I joined the local Goth, Pagan, Witch, Harley, and Vampire groups here...

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Jul 14, 2006 @ 6:16 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
mordechai


Posts: 5
i guess the best way to find a non-drinker would be to ask the person not to drink when she is with you. you never know marilynm said she stopped drinking cause she cared more for her SO than she does for drinking. honestly that is the way it should be in my humble opinion. it isnt easy that is for sure . i wish you luck nightstrike.
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Jul 16, 2006 @ 6:45 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
REDLIPSTICK440


Posts: 12
Hi nightstrike, I just read your profile or tried to, the problem is you did not fill in any information about yourself at all in your own words.This forum post of yours is great really and you do express yourself very well here. You are asking for ideas well here is one not everyone on sites reads the forums or even likes them or even knows what they are lol.
If you fill out in your own words on your profile exactly who you are looking for and about who you are that may help.
You are from New Jersey and in New York State where I live there are places to meet people which do not serve alcohol I have read this in my local newspaper just glancing through in general. Check it out and see if NJ has the same.
Best of luck to you.
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Jul 20, 2006 @ 4:01 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
keithpaul


Posts: 1
have a beer and relax---
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Jul 20, 2006 @ 11:39 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
sexyslayer


Posts: 9
nightstrike...I didn't know not drinking was that big of an issue to keep you from meeting woman...but I guess it is. I put social drinker on my profile because..I do have the occasional drink...I like my margaritas:) It's not like I need it or have to have it...if for the right person..I wouldn't drink..and I would think that is the case for most woman, unless they are alchys...then you got a problem:P

I would suggest since it seems like an issue for you..meet people through work..or people out of the bar scene...if you are on here..then find out what the girls are into if you are intrested in them..if they are partiers than pass.
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Jul 25, 2006 @ 3:11 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
Feast


Posts: 32
In certain religions alcohol is a forbiden substance... look there. This is obvious, but a reminder nonetheless.
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Aug 25, 2006 @ 10:36 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
triplex72


Posts: 3
This is going to sound strange, but you want to find women who don't drink? Go to bars -- there are PLENTY of them, especially in the bigger bars that would have more people.

I've known a LOT of juice/coffee/cola drinkers in my day who went to bars because they liked to dance, they enjoyed the music or the atmosphere, being with their friends, or whatever, but they didn't drink a drop of alcohol.
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Sep 3, 2006 @ 3:51 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
JesterDrawers


Posts: 4
Going to a bar to meet nondrinkers DOES sound strange, but I've noticed the same thing - plenty of people even just drinking water and insisting on having "a twist" in it so people don't look at them strangely - yep! They're all around.

The suggestion about your profile was a good one as well. Make your thoughts extremely clear there. And if you do run across someone that says she drinks "occasionally", as noted above, she may be more than willing to forego that. Case in point: I drink extremely rarely. I met someone about a year and a half ago on another site that, just in the ordinary flow of conversation, let me know how strongly she felt about having others drink around her, especially if they were planning on driving her home ('planning' is the operative word; NO WAY would she allow that to happen). Anyway, the point is, whenever we do anything together, I order my Diet Coke all night long - and sometimes this has been in a bar! And I don't miss the alcohol one bit - it's not a sacrifice, it's not even a courtesy really, it's just something I don't mind doing.

And you may find the woman of your dreams that looks at this exactly the same way!

Best of luck to you!
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Sep 25, 2006 @ 12:40 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
nightstrike


Posts: 20
Wow... there's a plethora of well thought out insightful posts here! I want to reply to them all, and I will, just give me time. I've been tied up lately with family issues. I will reply to each message individually, and thank you all for your kind words!
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Sep 25, 2006 @ 3:48 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
looknintn218


Posts: 2
I totally agree. Sometimes women and men will not do something that would irritate their partner just because they want to please them. This also goes for smoking. There are a great many people that hate to be around smokers. I think there are women that will not drink if asked not to and will not smoke if asked not too. Just remember though, if you are looking for a long term relationship, compromise might need to happen to make both parties happy
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Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:32 PM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
sundance64


Posts: 1,581
Nightstrike...
I am a non-drinker...so I feel where you're coming from. I've learned over the years to be comfortable and confident with my soberiety and am able to be around and have relationships (friends and more!) with people who drink. My sobriety is a personal decision and doesn't really affect my social life...actually it was my drinking that did that!
If you really do feel that strongly about not wanting to date a person who doesn't drink, put that in your profile on these sites! You may not get alot of responses, but when you do it will be worth your while. I wouldn't reccomend going to AA to meet women...that's not what AA is for and there are alot of sick (see...MENTAL) people there!
Otherwise...accept people as they are and stick to your own values.
Good Luck
Sundance
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Oct 3, 2006 @ 11:27 AM Advice on meeting (particular) women    
ynot7769


Posts: 20,639
wow...well as for finding non drinkers....i'd have to agree with Sundance....they even TELL you that your not to get in a relationship with another AA member....too many other 'issues' that led to the problem in the fist place and in most cases 2 negatives do NOT make 1 possitive...
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