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ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!


Sep 17, 2013 @ 11:03 AM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
badgirlisme


Posts: 2
So theres a guy 20years younger than me, who ive been in an online relationship with for 2 months.. meeting up in a week.. he is going to play my dom. He said hes been learning but im not sure if he is outta line lately or if its me :(. Im so confused. I want to please him but i have issues with some things he wants to do. My question is, do submissives have the right to say NO? If we do not then what good is a safe word? Im adventurous n wanna try new things but.. heres an example. He said hes inserting a butt plug in me. Ive had anal sex of course but cant say i love or even like it much (i was molested at age 5 this may b related? Ok so i said i am really freaked out cuz this is new--and he is putting it in for cirst time and then taking me out to dinner n a night on the town.. so this is doubly bad. To me. Im filled with fear. Literaally filled head to toe with gut wrenching FEAR. I asked him to respect my wish to not do this. He said he will mail it to me so im used to it beforehand. Do i have the right to downright refuse this? Or do i need to obey? Ive spent days looking this up but info is conflicting. I trust u guys. Please, anyone out there that can help? Im sick worrying about this please, please advise!! This is my first post.. i did promise him that i am his to do with as he pleases.. maybe im wrong Goddddd i dunno what to do!! Thank you in advance if u can spare some time to write a replg.. i know everyone is busy but i appreciate any and all input. Have a great day.
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Sep 17, 2013 @ 10:06 PM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
manwithoutahorse


Posts: 94
I'm not an expert on dom/sub relationships, but if you don't have complete trust in someone doing anal, then you can be hurt physically to say nothing of emotionally. And it sounds like you may have some emotional wounds that have not yet healed. You've never met him before? Then he is a complete stranger. Two months of online chat does not qualify as getting to "know " him. Submitting yourself completely to a stranger is dangerous. Please be careful.
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Sep 19, 2013 @ 2:25 PM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
Quartzman007


Posts: 4
You do have the right to set limits. Every sub has them. And as already said, you have never met this guy in person. Never get tied by anyone, male or female, on the first meet. I'd avoid this meeting if I were you.
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Sep 21, 2013 @ 9:56 PM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
whipmycream


Posts: 2
Cut it off NOW. He's inexperienced. You're new as well. You'll never feel safe with him. Inexperience on his part leads to overtly aggressive and dangerous behavior patterns.
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Sep 22, 2013 @ 8:25 AM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
skip1944


Posts: 19
do you find your experience at 5 to be stimulating in it's own way. do you ever masturbate while fantasizing about your "daddy" forcing himself on you, and actually allowing the pain and fear make you cum for daddy and his wishes?
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Sep 22, 2013 @ 8:46 AM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
happiness07


Posts: 2
Hi there my friend!
In answer to your question...and I see you have good adivce from others!
Of course you have a right to say NO!
After reading what you have said about this character...It would a definate DO NOT SEE THIS GUY...no matter how infactuated you are with him! He is not only inexperienced but is only interested in abusing you!
Imagine for a moment, the very second your helpless....this kind of guy could snap
or like you indicated is not already listening to you...will do whatever he wants to you...and with a gag in your going to have to pay a very dear price!
It may not be pretty...and worse..he may mess up...and you'll end up in the trunk of his car!
There's a time when you have to go on your intuition....and not your emotion!
I would stay very clear of this guy...the FLAGS ARE WAVING...AND YOUR IGNORING THEM! beside you should never do this sort of thing untill you know your new date very well!
I don't know what this guy has on you....but for you to say....HE CAN DO ANYTHING HE PLEASES....AND THAT YOU ARE HIS!
YOU MUST NEVER GIVE YOUR GIFT OF SUBMISSION TO JUST ANYONE!
They have to earn that trust! It takes time! YOU have a say at all times!
I would keep this guy at arms reach ...and watch what happens!
A Dom that you should be interested in will take his time with you...so that you feel very safe! Then your great communication can allow for a fabulous relationship!
SUGGESTION...PLEASE DO THIS...GO ON THE SITE "EXPERIENCE PROJECT" THERE YOU WILL FIND MANY SUBMISSIVE WOMEN THAT YOU CAN CHAT WITH...AND GET GREAT FEED BACK FROM THEM! YOU WILL THEN BE INFORMED, AND KNOWLEGEABLE OF WHAT IT IS TO BE A SUBMISSIVE IN A GREAT RELATIONSHIP...MY USERNAME THERE IS "bound2likeit" ! You'll be thankful you took the time to talk to other women that feel so inclined! GOOD LUCK my friend!
regards
Sir James
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Sep 22, 2013 @ 8:51 AM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
badgirlisme


Posts: 2
Thank you EVERYBODY for ur opinions and great advice. I'm not going. Y'all came thru for me and helped me so much!!!!!!!!!! Ur all freakin'awesome!!
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Mar 10 @ 3:24 PM ive got questions on being a new submissive n need help plz!!    
boarding_guy1977


Posts: 108
I agree with everyone else. Thats too intense for both of you being new at this. Its supposed to be fun for both the Dom and Sub. As much as we want to make it seem real as we get more and more experienced. It's still just a fantasy. I love being either Dom or Sub depending on who I'm with. Sometimes with some girls we switch it up. We will even wrestle and "fight" for awhile on a somewhat real scale and try to tie each other up for real and the one that "wins" does whatever they want to the other one. With safewords in place of course. With that said it has that sense of realism as we really do try to tie each other up. But either of us call out that safe word and it stops instantly and the free one unties the other. How we make it somewhat more real is by attempting to not use the safe word and if we do then the other gets to tease alot. LOL. And we both had lots of experience but we had our set predetermined limits.

But I hope you find someone willing to respect your limits and that this is new and you two can learn the ropes. "Pun intended" LOL.

Hope that helps and if you ever just want to chat about bondage hit me up anytime. NO question to silly. Just feel free to ask me anything on your mind about it and I'll share with you my knowledge.
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