Here are some stories about my rotten luck with the ladies. Number three is the funniest one, I think.
Number 1: Early on in high school I had a monster crush on a little redhead named Laura. Before long I learned she's my cousin. That's small town life, I guess.
2: When I finally had a relationship with someone, it ended after about 3 years, basically because I was a little too honest: I told her some girl was constantly following me around and that it was troubling me and potentially causing problems in our relationship. It was true.
That pretty much ended things, and really for no good reason at all. I truly didn't cheat on her, but I may as well have. If I had it would have been wrong, but I at least could say we broke up for a good reason.
3. In my college years, a girl named Leah had a big-time crush on me. I mean, she was constantly flirting and -- as hard as it was and still is to believe -- actually complimenting my physical appearance. But, as I just noted, I had just come away from a negative dating experience, so I was rather hesitant. Still, after a while, I finally decided "Okay, why not give her a chance?" That very day, when I knocked on her dorm room to bring her some cookies, she was crying and packing her things. As luck would have it, she was getting kicked out of school because she threw a pencil at the Dean of students because some girl was getting kicked out for bad grades (or something like that).
On top of everything else, she was a very cute girl.
4. Also while in college, I asked a beautiful artist and musician out. She was fairly smart, creative, funny, open and honest about her sexuality -- basically the total package. So of course she said "no." It's not all bad, I suppose. We're still close, we've recorded some of her songs together, and I even get along with her husband. In fact, every time she comes up from downstate she tries to visit me. But still, it's another example of my awful, awful luck.
After this pathetic streak, I haven't even been trying for many years. I totally gave up.
And it seems my streak continues. Just last week a cute girl moved into the house where I live. Not only is she dating someone, but it's a cool enough guy that I happen to know. The real kicker is that none of this stuff was really my fault, so there are no mistakes to even learn from. Can I be blamed now for wanting at least a cheap fling? I don't think so.