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shyguy140
54-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 40 - 65
Fort Dodge, Iowa
United States
Last Activity: 2 days ago

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Twin Brothers  
Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jone's...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 552 views | posted Apr 13, 2010 at 7:09 AM

DON'T SAY THIS TO A COP  
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 589 views | posted Apr 7, 2010 at 11:23 AM

Girls Night Out  
Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a "Girls Night Out", and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they really needed to pee....More...
5 comments | 1 kudo | 575 views | posted Apr 5, 2010 at 10:44 AM

Why You Don't Want To Be An Easter Egg  
1. You only get laid once
.
2. You only get eaten once.

3. It takes you three minutes to get hard.

4. You get tossed in the garbage when they're finished with you.
2 comments | 1 kudo | 546 views | posted Apr 4, 2010 at 6:52 AM

EMBARRASSED  
A very shy guy goes into a nightclub and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 545 views | posted Apr 2, 2010 at 9:42 AM

Bra Sizes  
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for.Now you know.

A ... Almost ...More...
8 comments | 0 kudos | 640 views | posted Mar 30, 2010 at 12:12 PM

Fat Fuck  
An Italian family was sitting at the dinner table when the father asks
his oldest son Tony! "Why are you such a fat fuck?"
The son replies: "Pops, it's mom's pasta! I can't stop eating it."
The fat...More...
3 comments | 1 kudo | 613 views | posted Mar 26, 2010 at 10:15 AM

And They Walk Among Us  
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word,

taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of sta...More...
4 comments | 1 kudo | 580 views | posted Mar 22, 2010 at 9:39 AM

Condom Slogans  
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. ...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 641 views | posted Mar 19, 2010 at 9:25 AM

Shall We Swear?  
A 5 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 5 year old. "I think it is about time we start swearing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

"When we...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 569 views | posted Mar 17, 2010 at 9:53 AM

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