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shyguy140
54-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 40 - 65
Fort Dodge, Iowa
United States
Last Activity: Yesterday

Capricorn Capricorn
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AN ODE TO ORAL SEX  
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fl...More...
5 comments | 1 kudo | 613 views | posted Oct 11, 2010 at 1:35 PM

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS  


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She...More...
12 comments | 0 kudos | 680 views | posted Oct 11, 2010 at 11:43 AM

WHAT CAN YOU CATCH ?  
An old man from Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise over the river. He sees the neighbour's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out:
"Hey boy, what...More...
1 comment | 0 kudos | 577 views | posted Oct 6, 2010 at 2:37 PM

CAKE RECIPE  
INGREDIENTS

2 laughing eyes
2 loving arms
2 well shaped legs
2 firm milk containers
1 fur lined mixing bowl
2 large nuts
1 large banana

METHOD

1. Look into laughing eyes.

2. Fold int...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 537 views | posted Oct 6, 2010 at 10:48 AM

THINGS A MAN SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A WOMAN AFTER SEX  

1) "I was kidding about being sterile, you know."

2) "Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"

3) "How come it's so BIG in there?"

4) "You've done this with a lotta guys bef...More...
3 comments | 1 kudo | 644 views | posted Oct 4, 2010 at 11:01 AM

THE TIGER  
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 543 views | posted Oct 3, 2010 at 6:21 AM

MAKING LOVE TO A WOMAN IS LIKE:  
MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.

You've got to grind your b...More...
0 comments | 0 kudos | 534 views | posted Oct 1, 2010 at 10:08 AM

69 VIRGIN  
An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house of ill repute to experience his first sexual experience with a partner. He approached the madam and shyly asked if he could retain the services of o...More...
1 comment | 0 kudos | 547 views | posted Sep 29, 2010 at 11:41 AM

SEDUCING THE GROCER  
An older single woman was shopping at the grocery store feeling lonely and horny. In the check out stand she noticed a young bagger and thought she might approach him. When he asked if he could take ...More...
1 comment | 0 kudos | 536 views | posted Sep 29, 2010 at 10:07 AM

WHOSE PANTIES?  
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her.

Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, "I have no idea whe...More...
6 comments | 0 kudos | 605 views | posted Sep 27, 2010 at 10:48 AM

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