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36-year-old Female
Seeking Men: 25 - 50
Clovis, California
United States
Last Activity: 2 months ago

Leo Leo
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About myself
*I am bespectacled & terribly near-sighted.
*I have a tendency to get caught up in my thoughts & lose track of what's going on around me. Consequently, I get startled easily or need to be pulled out of harm's way.
*I've a comedian fetish. Some women get turned on by musicians, some by actors. I have a few celebrity crushes in those categories. But the list of comedians who do it for me could fuel my sex fantasies for months. I'm not kidding.
*I like The Who > Pink Floyd. I mean, I like them both & I suppose in the grander scheme of things it doesn't matter, but I felt compelled to share that.

I identify as a quirkyalone & an ethical slut. Put them together & I am a quirkyslut. Love is fabulous, but I'm currently not in the right head space for a boyfriend (unless you're into cuckolding).

The person I would like to meet
Hopefully you're between 35 & 50.
It should be obvious that I like guys who can make me laugh.
I'm pagan (non-wiccan), but mellow about faith or lack thereof. If you take your religion or your atheism too seriously, we probably won't get along.
I'm pretty geeky & liberal, so it will probably help if you are too.
Literacy is a turn-on. I'm fluent in Typo, but if you can't string a basic sentence together, just move along. I can also tell when you've read my profile & trust me, that is hot.

About my work
Currently I'm staying with/being the caretaker for my grandmother with dementia. The doctor said she shouldn't live alone, so I'm here. Basically the only reason she still has the comfort of home & isn't in a rest home. It's stressful, and sometimes, I really just need to get away for a good fucking.

What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
My interests cross a broad spectrum of musical and geeky.

My idea of a great date
Oh gosh, I'm pretty easy to please. Arcades, movies, karaoke, concerts...doesn't matter too much. As long as we are both enjoying ourselves & comfortable. First dates should be over coffee/tea or lunch though, or somewhere else we can talk & get to know each other.

What is your fantasy vacation?
Cambria is my favorite place out here in California. But I'd love to go back to NYC someday. Or finally go to Europe or Australia.

What is your academic background?
Spent a lot of time as a music major. Didn't get my degree in it though. Ended up going back to school for Medical Coding.

Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
The last time I got out of town for the weekend was a trip with a friend to SF. Good times.

What do you find attractive in people?
Humor, intelligence, kindness. Looks are great, but only one factor.

What do others do that irritate you?
~I can't abide cheaters. I don't think I can ever make that clear enough. I can't stand the thought of being "the other woman." That's bad sister karma.
~Guys who think being NICE entitles them to something more than friendship. I have friends of both sexes, genders & varying persuasions. Being kind/respectful/honest is something friends do because it comes naturally. Not because you want something out of it.
~On the other hand, guys who act like God's gift to women should be teabagged.

What do you think is your best quality?
I can hang with the guys.

What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
Mostly I just want to make sure guys aren't cheating. If your status is suspect, this can be cleared up by letting me know. If you are open, or poly, or a swinger, that's OK. Just tell me. I won't play with cheaters.

Describe your physique.
Gaia-shaped. I'm a big-bosomed Earth Mother. And short.

What do you do well sexually?
Waking the neighbors/flatmates. I can get loud.

What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
I love being fingered, love nipple & breast play. It's been discovered that when I'm just tipsy enough, I can be brought thisclose to orgasm from nipple play alone. My favorite position is a modified missionary w/ my legs on his shoulders. But just about anything where I'm on the bottom is fun. :)

What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
Still wanna try it mmf, but most guys are too afraid of crossing swords.
Might be fun to do it in a sex club or party where others are doin' it. In a private office, on his desk.

What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
In the back of a trucker friend's cab. On a picnic table at night in a park. Next to another couple on the same bed.

Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
No & I intend to keep it that way. I'm also very strict about condoms. They're not a drag; I love to get the studded & ribbed ones. :)

Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
Friends w/ Benefits, mostly. Nothing too serious, but preferably more than a hot one nighter. I'm not into sexting or cybersex chat.

Scammers, please note: if you go on & on about looking for marriage, "the one", or your soulmate, find someone & somewhere else to troll. This is a SEX dating site, not e-harmony.

Free Space. Say anything you want!
Nothing but civil chit chat will happen w/out a picture. If you don't want to put one on the site, you can attach one when you write to me. Faces please!
I know that the AMD admins seem to have gone on vacation when it comes to approving pictures, so if you don't have any up, & can attach them when you write me, that would be helpful.

I don't want to cyber, "sext," have phone sex, or play on cam. I don't even own a webcam.
I want the real thing. I don't mind a little flirtatious chatting as we get to know each other, but ultimately I want to meet & get laid.
Does this mean I want to see a photo of your penis right off the bat? Not necessarily. I like happy, smiling faces. The first thing I want to see is that twinkle in your eye.

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