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Hungry Lion seeks Tender Lamb for Feast
Interesting (to me) facts about me:
I don't pay attention to the captions on these boxes.
I've never done heroin in my life... not even once.
I've only had one tuna sandwich in my life... and it was on a fishing boat.
I turned .80 into $840... using a statistical analysis program for playing horse races that I created in Excel. Eventually, I turned it to $0. Come to think of it, I've turned lots more money into $0 as well. There must be something wrong with Excel.
I'm a card-carrying, purse-holding dork.
I only drink socially... and I don't socialize THAT much...
I created a concept for a new type of city... and it is actually being built.
I've never been in jail... or even arrested.
I legally smoke small quantities of marijuana daily - secretly hoping to build up a tolerance in case I have to someday smoke somebody under the table in order to save a damsel in distress... What? It could happen... I saw it on Princess Bride I think.
I've roped and tied a calf in 9-1/2 seconds... I was much younger then. I take my time now. I'm good with knots.
I compose music... with real notes and stuff.
I tore the engine of my BMW (motorcycle) down to the pistons and put it back together again... and it ran.
I'm not intimidated by tall or smart women. I'm somewhat intimidated by beautiful women. I'm not attracted to frumpy women... I find them intimidating. Almost all frumpy women are attracted to me. Go figure...
At some point in our relationship, I WILL administer the Aunt Jemima Treatment...*
I like all types of music, but I'm particularly drawn to the music they play in Chinese restaurants. Any music genre in which instrument tuning is optional is special indeed.
The person I would like to meet
Interesting (to me) facts about you:
Every time you've been in jail, it was someone else's fault.
You smell nice - even after 10 hours of lovemaking.
After 10 hours of lovemaking, you will be respectful enough to close my eyelids and pull the sheet up over my head.
You know the difference between a sauce pan and a frying pan. You know which one to klonk me with...
We're happy watching the same things on TV. You'll know this because I'll be watching with you. If you're watching by yourself, we may still both be happy.
You know it is important to me that you receive gifts.
You trust me when I tell you turning the thermostat up to 100 doesn't warm the house any faster.
You're learning how men think, and use it to your advantage. For instance, you know that after you've spent my paycheck on yourself, it wouldn't hurt to pick me up a Starbucks on your way home. It's only fair after all... and God knows I'd love you for it...
You know there's a difference between Manet and Monet - or at least know I'm not misspelling Money...
You don't own any animals smaller than an ottoman.
You get my scents of hummor.
About my work
After a life-long quest/struggle to establish my own personal sense of spirituality... after looking to religion, after looking for God in every possible nook and cranny on the planet, after poring over the diatribes of countless philosophers, ... I have at long last come to the philosophy that I am most able to identify with... it is MY answer to the universe - and it comes from the most humble of philosophers... Popeye and I live by His philosophy alone "I am what I am... and that's all that I am".
I have all my teeth... some are in a box however.
I've seen the Beatles in concert... yeah, I'm old... but I've seen the BEATLES in concert (ticket stub is saved in the box with my teeth).
I can cook a 5 course meal from scratch without help... and it tastes good (still working on plating).
I know how to change a diaper or a tire without soiling my 3-piece suit. Come to think of it, I haven't soiled myself in weeks now.
In 56 years, I have not been able to figure out a single thing about women on my own. Some people I trust have told me things and I believe them. They could be pulling my leg.
I'm a published author and a published illustrator... I also write political parody for fun. I write erotic stories and send them to unsuspecting women on AMD who have checked out my profile... just kidding (you hope).
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
science, philosophy, the meaning of life, architectural design, history, energy, technology, camping, hiking, tennis,music, leaving the tiniest carbon footprint I can, writing, inventing stuff, animals, behaving like animals, resonance, win-win situations, meaningful conversations, integrity, guacamole, cooking, kids, muscle cars, sports cars, motorcycles, brain development, innuendo.the limelight, saving the world, YOU!
My idea of a great date
I am a Romantic... If you don't know what that means, look it up.
I am not actually petered out... no really...
I'm smarter than all your friends' husbands and boyfriends... but I know not to make them feel stupid (unless you want me to).
My sheets are 1000 thread count. I haven't a clue what that means but I'm assured that anything less would be uncivilized. I guess I'm barely civilized. Which reminds me...
I overuse ellipsis... um... ellipsises... um... ellipsi... um... those three little dot things... but I always use three dots, never two, never four and never... God forbid... a string of them... because really, being able to accurately count dots is what separates us from apes.... right?
I have patents and know how to use them.
I've traveled a lot. I'm kinda done with that for now... I'm not a homebody by any means, but I'm not the guy who's going to fly with you to Italy for pizza on a whim... (the pizza there sucks anyway).
I never lie... except on dating profiles... not so much this one... (I actually DO have my teeth).
I own a piece of land on a small island in Greece.
I have the ability to REALLY piss you off... Trust me on this... however, simply knowing that I can is usually satisfying for me. I can also make you laugh so hard you will wet your pants... however, simply knowing I can do this is never satisfying for me. Depends on the first date?
I like to watch basketball... no other sports... just basketball. Wait, is porn a sport?
I've cooked pancake breakfasts for around 500 people... many times. Nowhere near all of them gagged.
If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
Divorced - would have preferred widower, but she wouldn't cooperate.
What is your fantasy vacation?
Stranded on an island of amazon women.
What is your academic background?
School of life.
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
Greece - and yes, I liked it.
What do you find attractive in people?
I recently (depending on when you read my profile) watched the first two seasons of Dexter over the course of a week. Should I be worried that I've repainted my dining room in "blood spatter"? (Should YOU?)
I'm famous in some circles... not in a good way. I'm a whistle-blower.
My great, great, great grandfather was famous in a good way... depending on who you ask. HIS great, great grandfather was a pirate and a smuggler. My grandfather on the other side of the family was friends with Al Capone. My family tree has some very odd branches. Be forewarned...
Some of the things I work on go to other planets.
Some of the things I work on make chocolate more fun to eat.
I'm not working on anything at the moment for making chocolate more fun to eat on other planets.
What do others do that irritate you?
What do you think is your best quality?
What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
My personality is perfect.
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
Describe your physique.
Muscular but need sit-ups.
What do you do well sexually?
What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
I'm open to any of these.
Free Space. Say anything you want!
We probably won't be a match if:
You have pictures on your profile of the time you were so drunk at Sturgis, bikers were doing Tequila shots off some part of your body.
You have more pictures of animals on your profile than of you. Same goes for your friends. Oh, and what's with that guy's arm in your pictures? Who is that guy? He sure gets around.
Your dog doesn't understand "NO" and you insist we have to be "friends". I'll be wearing nice clothes when I pick you up and I don't necessarily want to risk animal rights activists splashing paint on me because I'm covered in fur. I understand there is no controlling cats.
Note:If you're younger than 45ish, or you didn't put enough on your profile for me to know something about you as a person, I probably won't contact you... be honest, you really don't want me contacting you based primarily on your picture anyway, right? That said, if you've read enough on MY profile to believe we have match potential, why don't you contact me?
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