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I like soft guitar music, walks on the beach,cats
I'm a Sagitarius.. I love Kenny G concerts and a perfect day for me is watching "Matlock" or "the Shopping Network" while scrapbooking with my with my Mom and Aunt over a cup of hot chocolate...No.Actually... that sounds....unbearable. Those was untruths and fabrimications..
In truth, I am but a simple rice farmer...loving the land, living a straghtforward and natural life and working hard to do the right thing to support my kin in a harsh and unforgiving land.
Sorry. Dork Flash. It's gone now.
OK.. Me...um... I guess I would say.... I am my own man and try to live life as I think it should be lived...being positive...making other people positive.. I don't need the approval of others to bolster my self esteem or confidence..( but I DO love hearing a woman tell me she's happy with me..) I like helping people and making people smile. I admit that I am a little old fashioned ( I believe in manners, respect, courtesy, honesty, hard work, hard play, good friends...and..romance..)
I am a HUGE believer in Karma. I try to get along with pretty much everyone. (EXCEPT... people who are arrogant, rude, mean, disrespectful, closed minded, biggoted, intolerant, sexist and WORST of ALL...abusive. (In any form. Zero tolerance for that shit. ).
I love nature and the outdoors and spend the majority of my time outside, for work and play. I want to sleep with you.
The person I would like to meet
A "MATE"???? hahahaha. That sounds kinda funny. Like we're Penguins or something.
("Hey Jim! Hi Sarah! This is my mate, Jenna.You guys wanna swing by our nest?")
It's summer! I want to do fun, cool, exciting things and want a woman to enjoy it with! You can't have a romantic surprise picnic and watch the sunset by yourself! (well, you can but that's just....sad.) Amusement parks! Alone? no.Festivals/shows../concerts....not solo! I want to take her to all my secret spots ("Super Secret Waterfall" on a hot day...cliff jumping...waterfall sitting...nakedness in nature...how about waterfall sex???? That could be hot...Hiking to an amazing view with nobody around....unplanned road trip....whatever YOU want to do!
hmmmm...OK. She is true to herself, no matter what. A sense of humor is a must, loves sex and isn't bashful about talking about it. Likes foreplay, likes to have huge orgasms,likes having sex for more than 15 min.,(15 hours is good..) petite is good (but not critical), sarcastic ( or at least appreciates it), self confident, open minded (a bit freaky even???), assertive, speaks her mind, loves to 69 , appreciates romance (and occasionally being surprised by it....) and likes the outdoors (even just a bit). Did I say "must love sex?"
About my work
I knit sweaters out of cold spaghetti noodles and sell them on E-Bay.
I own a design/construction firm, am a landscape designer, artist , writer, philosopher, poet and photographer. (and I know ALL kinds of things about pleasing a woman sexually. (And emotionally.)
You deserve to feel good and be happy, right? RIGHT!
**** (and aspiring porn director/producer •( E mail to schedule audition: ask for Connie Lingus, Hugh G. Reckshin, Ivana Likkyew or Mike Oxard...)
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
I get high on adrenaline. If its risky and/ or fast, I'll take it. I ski, snowboard, (instruct both), climb, surf, skate , mt. bike, whitewater canoe, climb mountains, kite surf, wakeboard, waterski and am game to try anything else along those lines. I also love, LOVE driving fast. Slower hobbies are hiking, camping, painting, photography, cooking, being with you and being with my dog Mica.
I dont watch tv ( havent had one for 10 years,) I read ALOT. I write. I like movies (not just porn! ) I love all kinds of music (well, almost). I fantasize about women. Naked women. Freaky naked women. Having crazy orgasms. On my face. You!
My idea of a great date
Seeing you smile when I pick you up....
During the date you both feel comfortable (even with silence if it happens,) you say the same thing at the same time or finish each others thoughts and at the end of the night you feel like you have known each other for years.
(of course , an 8 hour finale of bed-breaking, sweat soaked, neighbor-waking, cat-scaring sex is always a good indication too...)
If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
Well, widower. If you must know what happened...She watched this show on the History Channel about Evel Kinneval, decided she wanted to pick up where he left off and successfully jump the Grand Canyon( with no safety chute on the vehicle.)
Why she felt a 1998 Dodge Grand Caravan ( with faux wood exterior) was the ideal vehicle I'll never know..."Caravan:Room for Mom and the whole junior soccer team"... BUT.....
.. they don't fly for shit...
What is your fantasy vacation?
2 weeks on a perfect, private tropical atoll with YOU! (and... maybe your 2 hot bi friends)
What is your academic background?
Teletubbies™ episodes 1-15, Hooked on Phonics© and Speak and Spell™ Farmyard© by Mattel® "The cow says...mooo!".
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
Folsom Prison. 90 days in Solitary. LOVED it...
What do you find attractive in people?
Women in general.
Specifically? Ummmmm.. Honesty, confidence ( tempered with modesty), intelligence, nymphomaniacism, sense of humor, a huge sex drive,women who take control in bed , a dirty mind.....
and most importantly....YOU!
*oh! also, I LOVE the two little dimples above womens butts!!!!! (..) butts in general actually...boobs too- big, small, huge, teeny...( but REAL!!!)
What do others do that irritate you?
Ignorance , cruelty , selfishness , condescension , magniloquence , cavillousness , complacency, laziness, dishonesty, insolence, coersion, rodomontading, megalomania, racism, sexism, malevolence..... Driving badly.
What do you think is your best quality?
Compassion, humor, creativity, empathy, wit, chivalry, cunnilingus
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
??? Is that REALLY YOU in the photo?!!!??? ???
Describe your physique.
I dont know ! Duh. Look at my photos ! Shheeesh.
What do you do well sexually?
D. All of the above.*
*Esp: I can make you come....... so many , many times....
What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
D. All of the above.
Duh...anything... I like it all! OK. Honestly ..no. A dry calloused handjob I can do without.
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
Well... I am open for absolutely anything*
* so if you need a participant to make yours a reality, count me in.
But...I would like to have a woman who likes anal so I can try that. And of course me and 2 or 3 women in bed together. I have LOTS more but they are kinda kinky so you will have to ask.....
What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Yes I do.
I have... crabs.
Not just a few either. Tonnes of crabs! They are everywhere! I have even named them!. Claude, Jean Clawde, Santa Claws, Clawdia, Shel, Sheldon, Shelly, Mr. Pincher, Stubby, Sir Spitbubbles, Dumbass, Stumpy, Dr. One Claw, Crabcake....
I have a whole little beach set up for them in the cellar! Yep..Hermit Crabs are cool.
Oh what? STD's? No , of course not!!!! Who would be on a singles site if they did?
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
JEG vil gjerne møte idet mange kvinner idet mulig og lage elske å seg. Det spiller ingen rolle hvorvidt det er en ettall kveld , ettall uke eller ettall år. JEG rettferdig ønske kjønn og flere kjønn. Og jeg vil gjerne gå inn kvinner rygg dørene. Jeg vil ha kjønn med alle kvinne hvem ber om. Det er en det enkel.
Free Space. Say anything you want!
I'll tell you this.We only get one ride on this big blue merry go round. Worrying about stupid stuff is time you don't get back.I am chasing fun.I want to try it all, see it all do it all. I refuse to live my life by what "everybody does", or "You're supposed to do". When you find yourself thinking"I wonder what that's like?" FIND OUT what it's like. It is stupid to ever say"someday.." or " I wish I could..." because you'll still be saying it when you don't have the chance to find out. You have nothing to lose by trying and everything to lose by not.How crazy is it to worry about what other people THINK?Or to miss out on something because you cared what "everybody else" was doing? I spent 3 minutes literally dead. Flatline.Gone.When I was brought back, I realized all the stupid shit I worry about had no effect on me. That I hadn't done something because I didn't want people to "think this about me"?Let em think! Example. If going to the mall in pajamas would make YOU feel good,why wouldn't you?"People will think I'm weird!" And..? Will that cause you physical pain? Take something from you?Hurt someone you love?NO! SO DO IT! You get to feel good! THAT IS WHAT IT"S ALL ABOUT! Do what makes you feel good! If it makes others feel good, fantastic! If it bothers someone (not hurts), then THEY are CHOOSING to waste time being bothered. Ten minutes later, YOU have had ten minutes of pleasure and they have had ten minutes of being bothered. Who is smarter? We worry that being ourselves won't make us "attractive".Come on. If you hadn't been in your PJs, would that hot guy have come up and asked you out? Really? Maybe he wishes he could be in his PJs! Maybe at the club he picks you out of 500 women because he remembers your face from the mall as PJ girl.. and if he doesnt JUST because of the PJs, hes a PJ hater and you wouldn't
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