Seeking Women: 42 - 55
Last Activity: > 3 months ago
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I bathe frequently, fix cars, put the seat down.
What more could a woman want? I help old ladies cross the street, give great back rubs, and live in my own home.I wear my pants high enough to cover my butt crack. I ask for directions when I am lost, even in my own house. I do windows. Normally, I don't drink or smoke but I'll take up the habit for you.
The person I would like to meet
I'd like to meet a woman that looks normal but people often whisper "Something is WRONG with that woman" to themselves, for fear of getting you angry. Lets just assume if you are reading this far then you actually believe Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. You need to lose a few pounds. You are real, you have curves.You wear your pants high enough to cover your crack. You like the idea of sleeping with overweight bald men and 2 puppies.You use deodorant every day and always remember to fake your orgasms.
About my work
I used to be a male prostitute but the cute babes never called, so I had to quit. Now I make a living as a nude model.
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
Seriously? Moi? Ok, just this time. I like exploring ghost towns. I like injuring myself working on old cars.I have this fascination with the paranormal. TAPS rules. I love to masturbate, but I'm trying to quit.I'd like to travel, maybe have a relationship if I could find someone that I don't drive completely insane inside of 3 months.
Seriously? help me lose weight and stick with me and I'll worship you for the rest of your life.
My idea of a great date
I would pick you up for dinner, but my unbelievable manliness and distinct odor drive you crazy, and you make me lose control at the wheel, and we crash into a ditch. You are uninjured because as we crashed, I was reaching over to fondle your breasts.You jump on me and force me to have passionate sex over and over until I die.
Ok, Ok.Really, I tend to be more normal than that. A nice dinner where we can talk, a movie, just scary enough so that you need to grab my arm, and then a walk in the park by moonlight. You let me kiss you, there, on a park bench, under a full moon.
If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
Never been married. Loved and lost 2 times. Details available after a minimum of 4 drinks.
What is your fantasy vacation?
What is your academic background?
I have a degree in auto technology. I also studied advanced Kama Sutra in India for 2 years, and have a degree in uncomfortable sexual positions.
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
Disneyworld over 10 years ago. The happiest place on earth. Say no more!
What do you find attractive in people?
Smooth, soft skin that my fingers and tongue can explore.
Real women have curves!
What do others do that irritate you?
I don't like it when people throw warm feces at me.
I also find it irritating when jealous people hate me for being both rich AND handsome, while others try to taunt me and goad me into a fight, knowing I am a 23rd degree black belt in maki-sushi.
I'm also tired of women using me as a piece of meat.
What do you think is your best quality?
My ability to bite through solid steel with my teeth. My x-ray vision.
Do I have to be serious again? Ok., I try to be open minded, I am very affectionate, and I pride myself in being able to restain myself when other guys might take advantage of you.
What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
I wish I could turn off the xray vision around fat and elderly people.
Actually, I wish I didn't do so well alone. Sometimes I give up on a relationship too easy because it dosen't bother me to be by myself.
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
I can keep my wee wee in my pants if I have to. But, oh my, I love to kiss. Would you keep this in mind when we meet?
Describe your physique.
I have battled with my weight all my life. Recently, my weight exploded to an enormous 356 lbs as recorded at my last doctor's visit. At that point I made a commitment to lose 100 lbs, no matter what it takes. I have lost 40 lbs so far and well on the way to being a decent looking if chubby guy.
What do you do well sexually?
I have patience.
I have been told I kiss well.
I have an open mind about erogenous zones. The ear lobes, the small of the back, the neck, the fingertips all hold equal importance to the obvious areas.
What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
I have this thing about giving pleasure and not recieving it. I'm not sure if it is rooted in low self-esteem, but the very act of giving pleasure gives me satisfaction. I need to work on this.
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
I want to have sex in a ghost town. (no, not in the middle of summer, silly!)
What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
Sex on the beach, in a bathroom during a large party. I guess I don't get really kinky or experimental.
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Never had (knock on wood) never will!
I'd rather (and have) abstain and have to jerk off later than risk it.
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
I'm willing to work with you on that. Everbody needs love, most of us want a lifetime commitment from the perfect soul mate.
But I'd be lying if I said being naughty one weekend wouldn't be great.
And everything in between!
Free Space. Say anything you want!
I could use a roommate.
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