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70-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 18 - 50
Calgary, Alberta
Last Activity: > 3 months ago

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Magnetic Panties  

Many of you have asked ...Bort ..why are you such a chick magnet?

Its my electric panties of course...I just pull a switch and bingo ..they stick to me like glue....simple gravititation...More...
5 comments | 2 kudos | 423 views | posted Apr 30, 2010 at 1:35 AM

Inflatable Helium Panties  

Gots tired feet???
Why not try Bort's Inflatable Helium Panties...just pull a thingie and your panties inflate with Helium allowing you to float effortlessly while shopping at the Mall or gro...More...
19 comments | 2 kudos | 581 views | posted Apr 28, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Bort's Pussy Band Aid  
Have you ever had your pussy kicked so hard by the crack whore at the local 711...that it swells up the size of a cantelope?

Have you ever viciously cut yourself while shaving your pussy or acciden...More...
16 comments | 5 kudos | 1099 views | posted Mar 2, 2010 at 8:10 PM

Bort's Gone Mental  
My new book ..Bort's Gone finally in print.

It discusses my experimentation with LSD in the sixties and seventies and my first hallucination of floating panties, which in turn led to th...More...
13 comments | 2 kudos | 360 views | posted Jan 31, 2010 at 6:14 PM

Shocking News At Borts House  
One of the fella's over at the vanilla site, in the R@S forums stated he didn't believe donkeys, snakes or bushes could talk. I can honestly say that his conclusions coincide with my experience, until...More...
9 comments | 3 kudos | 370 views | posted Jan 25, 2010 at 5:13 PM

Deep Thoughts  
Many of us have often pondered the passage from scripture...

My Brother Egor Is An Hairy Man but I Am A Smooth Man.

Could it mean that man has evolved from a hairy beast to a smooth beast?

22 comments | 3 kudos | 442 views | posted Jan 17, 2010 at 1:47 PM

Just who the fuck is this Borty Bastard.

Always writing blogs about panties. You'd think a sixty three year old man would have something better to do. I'll bet he's one of dem pinko commie socialis...More...
26 comments | 2 kudos | 510 views | posted Jan 9, 2010 at 11:26 AM

Hot Chicks With Big Dicks  
I was busy reading Plato's Republic in the online reading library when suddenly something popped up on my screen titled Hot Chicks With Big Dicks.

To my amazement, my screen was flooded with...More...
20 comments | 5 kudos | 664 views | posted Dec 23, 2009 at 2:06 PM

Questions On Your Bush.  
Lately I've been receiving emails from people inquiring about thier panty's a few.
Bort....Is it alright to adorn my panty bush with Christmas tree lights?

Answer....Certainly, bu...More...
19 comments | 2 kudos | 352 views | posted Dec 16, 2009 at 7:06 PM

Wish Me Luck  
Well ..I managed to sneak in past the Skwil last night after my interview with Nancy Grace about my secret affair with Tiger Woods.

I think Nancy had a pair of my vibrating panties on because she j...More...
5 comments | 0 kudos | 307 views | posted Dec 8, 2009 at 6:32 PM

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