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borty293
68-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 18 - 50
Calgary, Alberta
Canada
Last Activity: > 3 months ago

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SNOT FUNNY  
So I'm stopped at a red light and see a beautiful women in the car next to me...well dressed, perfect hair, sparkling eyes. Trying not to stare, I look away for a second then glance back only to see h...More...
8 comments | 0 kudos | 230 views | posted Feb 19, 2007 at 8:01 PM

PIMPLES  
Ever since my teenage years I've enjoyed popping pimples...the more ripe the better...big round ones with white pustules that explode with all kinds of strange things comming out....black heads can be...More...
8 comments | 0 kudos | 280 views | posted Feb 16, 2007 at 4:04 AM

TRUE STORY  
During my youth and middle age I worked as a professional actor...mostly stage, with a sprinkling of TV and movies. Ocassionally I would find work in muscials as a dancer. On such musical called Annie...More...
0 comments | 0 kudos | 179 views | posted Feb 13, 2007 at 11:07 PM

OLD FARTS CONFESSION  
Ok ..so I have another confession to make. When no ones around I close the curtains ...turn on the stereo ..put on ac/dc or Led Zepplin...get my broom out and play air guitar completely nude until I'm...More...
4 comments | 0 kudos | 194 views | posted Feb 13, 2007 at 5:32 AM

WATCH OUT  
WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS BASHING FROM BOTH GENDERS...AS SOON AS I GET MY WALKER FIXED AND MY FEEDING TUBE REMOVED ....I'M GONNA KICK SOME ASS
9 comments | 0 kudos | 292 views | posted Feb 10, 2007 at 8:44 PM

AUTOEROTIC ASPHIXIATION  
I think it was 60 minutes that did a piece on kids that accidently hung themselves trying to get high by cutting oxygen to the brain. I've also heard of people who intensify their partners sexual expe...More...
16 comments | 0 kudos | 305 views | posted Feb 8, 2007 at 10:30 PM

ORGASM  
Read the other day that a pig can have a orgasm for up to 30 minutes. My orgasm clocks in at around 30 seconds and thats on a good day. Any ideas how to increase that most intimate of pleasures withou...More...
10 comments | 1 kudo | 285 views | posted Feb 7, 2007 at 10:11 PM

vacation  
I wanna to go to Hawaii but these tours seem expensive ...anyone know a less expensive way ?
4 comments | 0 kudos | 154 views | posted Feb 6, 2007 at 3:01 AM

ACCIDENT  
I accidently touched myself last night....my hand slipped and landed on my private parts causing swelling. throbbing and the invitalble fountain of white matter....As a result I was temporarily reliev...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 208 views | posted Feb 6, 2007 at 1:15 AM

FUCK WINTER  
Anybody else getting sick and tired of winter? Summer seems like a distant memory...I can barely remember what hot is like and we have at least two more months of this crap....oh well I guess we ...More...
12 comments | 0 kudos | 226 views | posted Feb 5, 2007 at 5:52 PM

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