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104-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 97 - 99
Addison, Texas
United States
Last Activity: > 3 months ago

Taurus Taurus
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Phacking Single Again!  
SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies...More...
6 comments | 1 kudo | 440 views | posted Dec 23, 2011 at 7:51 PM

I have to come clean  
I have to come clean with all my AMD friends. I've been dishonest with ya'll.

I'm the Center Of The Universe.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "what a egocentr...More...
4 comments | 0 kudos | 371 views | posted Aug 3, 2010 at 11:17 PM

I like monkeys  
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

3 comments | 0 kudos | 351 views | posted Jul 25, 2010 at 11:13 AM

Redneck word of the day: "OBAMA"


1 - I bought me a case of beer and drank it OBAMA self!

2 - I think this up OBAMA self!

3 comments | 1 kudo | 355 views | posted Jul 16, 2010 at 9:07 AM

Nancy Pelosi  
A man washed up on a desert island after a shipwreck. The only other survivors were a sheep and a sheepdog.

The three of them got into the habit of going down to the beach every evening to watch th...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 426 views | posted Jul 15, 2010 at 7:35 AM

$1,500 Blow Job  
A guy is strolling along Vegas Strip when a stunning hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks, "How much?"

The Hooker replies, "$500 for a hand-job." The guy's jaw d...More...
4 comments | 1 kudo | 366 views | posted Jun 6, 2010 at 10:48 AM

Love, Lust and Marriage  
How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?

Love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage: when your belt won't meet arou...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 405 views | posted Jun 4, 2010 at 9:15 PM

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36...More...
6 comments | 1 kudo | 426 views | posted May 8, 2010 at 10:03 AM

Just like a Man!  
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase si...More...
2 comments | 0 kudos | 304 views | posted Apr 18, 2010 at 1:28 PM

No Sex Since 1955  
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom a...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 315 views | posted Apr 17, 2010 at 12:37 PM

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