Phacking Single Again!
SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.
I can't stand movies...More...
6 comments |
1 kudo |
243 views |
posted Dec 23, 2011 at 7:51 PM
I have to come clean
I have to come clean with all my AMD friends. I've been dishonest with ya'll. 
I'm the Center Of The Universe. 
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "what a egocentr...More...
4 comments |
0 kudos |
215 views |
posted Aug 3, 2010 at 11:17 PM
I like monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
...More...
3 comments |
0 kudos |
178 views |
posted Jul 25, 2010 at 11:13 AM
Obama
Redneck word of the day: "OBAMA"
Usage
1 - I bought me a case of beer and drank it OBAMA self!
2 - I think this up OBAMA self!
3 comments |
1 kudo |
177 views |
posted Jul 16, 2010 at 9:07 AM
Nancy Pelosi
A man washed up on a desert island after a shipwreck. The only other survivors were a sheep and a sheepdog.
The three of them got into the habit of going down to the beach every evening to watch th...More...
2 comments |
0 kudos |
235 views |
posted Jul 15, 2010 at 7:35 AM
$1,500 Blow Job
A guy is strolling along Vegas Strip when a stunning hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks, "How much?"
The Hooker replies, "$500 for a hand-job." The guy's jaw d...More...
4 comments |
1 kudo |
190 views |
posted Jun 6, 2010 at 10:48 AM
Love, Lust and Marriage
How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?
Love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage: when your belt won't meet arou...More...
2 comments |
0 kudos |
169 views |
posted Jun 4, 2010 at 9:15 PM
cybersex
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36...More...
6 comments |
1 kudo |
211 views |
posted May 8, 2010 at 10:03 AM
Just like a Man!
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase si...More...
2 comments |
0 kudos |
187 views |
posted Apr 18, 2010 at 1:28 PM
No Sex Since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom a...More...
3 comments |
0 kudos |
166 views |
posted Apr 17, 2010 at 12:37 PM
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