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41-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 21 - 50
Royal Oak, Michigan
United States
Last Activity: > 3 months ago

Scorpio Scorpio
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Wisdom is intelligence with practice.

About myself
I'm a smartass. Like, next-level sarcasm. In the way that the Pacific Ocean is to "moist", so I am to "sarcastic". Can't hang? Off with you. Your fucking loss. If you got offended, you didn't get the joke. Sometimes the joke may be about you, and if you can't handle that, I can't handle you. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then, try and find someone whose life has given them vodka. Mix with lemonade. Repeat until happy.

The person I would like to meet
I just want to have fun; I'm here to chat with friends and meet attractive people who enjoy good conversation and adult good times. Somewhere along the way, I hope to find the woman who takes my breath away with each and every kiss.

About my work
I fix things and help people; at any given time I have eighty-five projects going on for a dozen different people. I always answer that I'm a handyman, but I can fix ANYTHING. I also do tattoos; for the right girl, we could have the most memorable first date in history!

What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
Tattoos, Star Wars, music, Deadwood, cars, reading...

I am the world's biggest Star Wars geek; I make lightsabers, I have a Yoda tattoo (among several others), and I know what a Fosh is. Drunken lightsaber fights are the best kind of outdoor fun you could ask for; come over & be a kid again.

I love working on my muscle car, and what good is it if I don't also like to drive fast? Wanna have a first date that hits 100mph, but still takes it slow? Here I am...

My idea of a great date
A hundred miles an hour down 696, an intelligent movie, dinner at Mongolian BBQ, deep conversation and debate, and tattoos and heart-stopping kisses to bring it on home.

If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
When I know you enough to share my pains, perhaps I will.

What is your fantasy vacation?
Two weeks up north, living off the land, with bonfires, acoustic guitar, and barbecued walleye.

Or a long roadtrip to a Star Wars convention, with full costumes and lightsabers.

Or Las Vegas. Somebody go with me... What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Unless I decide to tell my co-workers. And friends. And ex-wife. And the lady who delivers my mail.

Oh, and that redhead at the park.

What is your academic background?
High school graduate, with much real world knowledge. Maybe I don't have a degree, but I bet I read more Carl Sagan than you do. Also, I can fix anything. I'm a handy guy to have around.

Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
Went to Dallas to visit an internet friend, who knows the nightlife of the city well enough to give me a weekend I'll not soon forget.

What do you find attractive in people?
Sexy asses, intelligent debate, vehement opinions, wild nights in the bedroom, skepticism, the ability to laugh, uninhibited sexual proclivities, strategically placed tattoos, deep thinking, astronomical wonder, dirty talk, honesty, disregard for the feelings of Republicans.

What do others do that irritate you?
I can't stand rudeness and stupidity. It's okay to be polite, and I really wish more people had common sense.

What do you think is your best quality?
I am perfect in every way. Also, my modesty.

Actually, my sense of humor has carried me through some incredibly difficult times, so I think I'll stick with that.

Plus, I'm younger than my age implies; you're only as old as you feel, so to make up for days that make me feel 60, I try to fit in some days that make me feel 18.

What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
I wish I had more patience. No time to write more.

What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
"Please provide an example of Fermat's Last Theorem."

Just kidding... umm...I dunno... "Want some ink?"

Describe your physique.
Technically a TINY bit overweight, I guess, but I do physical work all day long, so that isn't a beer belly, it's protective covering for my rock-hard abs.

Plus, I don't do beer. It's more accurately a "Pepsi" belly.

What do you do well sexually?
None of your beeswax. Kiss me first, goddammit.

What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
Similarly private. Not exactly first-date material, that.

What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
Threesome. I was an 80's rock star, with girls wanting backstage passes and all, but I've never been a part of that typical male fantasy; two women at once.

What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
Nothing spectacular; not worth elaborating on to a random profile generator. Ask me specifics. We'll see.

Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?

Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
I like to play, but "a while" never works out the way you want. I'm actually still searching for "The One", but you can't find that by looking for it, you really have to stumble across it.

Free Space. Say anything you want!
Wanna play with my lightsaber?

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