Seeking Women: 18 - 54
Last Activity: > 3 months ago
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Ten years in bars, and still no good pick up lines
What do I want others to know? Hmmm. How about how frustrating it is that after 15 years of trying to get into girls' pants, I still haven't come up with a tactful way to do it. Damn. It's like the Holy Grail. Actually, I'm looking for open-minded women that can be stimulated intellectually just as much as physically, because although I can't get into your pants from 1000 miles away, I can get into your mind from anywhere. And if I'm winking at you, or emailing you, chances are pretty good it's to see if you like reading about what could happen, because that's all it usually amounts to. But if you're up to the challenge of hooking up locally, it's on.
The person I would like to meet
If a woman is local, I would like to talk the talk first, and if things go well, then we can walk the walk. I like women that are out of reach just as much, because people tend to be a lot more honest and open when they're just writing about their fantasies, as opposed to being put in a postion to act them out. Truth is, everyone has something good to offer.
About my work
Work is work. As long as you remember that it's what you do, and not what you are, you're okay in my book. Luckily, I really like being a Human Cannonball. It's a real blast.
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
I play a lot of sports--football, basketball, softball, and soccer. I also like to read, and I have discovered this new thing called "the internet". It's previous name to me was "porn portal", but I've found that there's actually other stuff on the computer besides pictures of naked women. Who would've guessed?
My idea of a great date
Being with someone that you feel absolutely comfortable with.
If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
I'm neither, but I'm working on a story to tell women about how my wife tragically died in order to get some sympathy sex. I'll let you know how it goes.
What is your fantasy vacation?
Crash landing on a deserted island in the Pacific with the Hooters girls.
What is your academic background?
I'm a smart dude. Graduated college with a double major, both of which are pretty useless. $100,000 down the drain. Damn.
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
North Carolina, it was very relaxing.
What do you find attractive in people?
Self-confidence above and beyond everything else. Intelligence. Being experienced enough to know what you're looking for, or being honest enough with yourself to admit that you don't have the faintest idea of what you're looking for. Courage enough to go after whatever is you're looking for. The desire to make other people happy without making yourself miserable. Physically, it's a whole different story.
What do others do that irritate you?
Anything that shows a lack of common sense.
People who begin talking by saying, "Needless to say". If it's "Needless to say", shut the hell up.
Women that read this much of a profile, and then don't even take enough time to drop an email saying, "Damn that's funny", or "You're an idiot". Although the former is preferred, the latter is also okay, at least you'd be doing something.
What do you think is your best quality?
According to my grandmother and all her friends, "I'm such a nice boy". According to my boss, "At least you're not an ass". (Just kidding, I don't have a boss, and sometimes I am an ass)
According to ex-girlfriends, "You've got a tongue like the Energizer bunny".
What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
I'd be more social in large groups.
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
Do you enjoy having your knees up near your shoulders with a tongue between your legs?
Describe your physique.
Somewhere between the "Before" and "After" pictures on the Bowflex commercials. 5'9", 175 lbs., brown hair and green eyes.
What do you do well sexually?
Pay attention. I don't have a routine or a check list that I try to rush through with every girl I'm with. If a woman seems to be enjoying whatever it is I'm doing, I'm staying there. Although if I had my choice, I'd love to have a "full-access" (if you need clarification on that one, just email me) woman who didn't have anywhere to be in the morning, or for the next 24 hours, to do with as I please. And I must admit, I do like giving the oral.
What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
I'm a guy: blowjobs.
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
There's not many that I'm not waiting for. I think I was a monk in a previous life.
What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
There was this one girl I was with in NY (not in the upper Niagra Falls region, email me if you know what I'm talking about, hint:80's) who was absolutely mind-blowing.
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
I can pretty much rule out long-term relationship, no need to mislead anyone. Local hookups would be great, and long-distance pen pals works too. I love to read about it and write about it, so as long as you speak English, we're good.
Free Space. Say anything you want!
I'm exhausted from typing. The last time I worked the keyboard for this long was doing term papers back in college. I just like meeting new people, and it doesn't really matter to me where they're from, what they do, or who they are. In my line of work, I see the same people day in and day out. I've had the same friends since high school, and besides hearing about their latest baby news, not much new happens with them. Write me, I want to hear from you, and I promise I'll write back. Or I'll give you a dollar. Or if you tell me you're a prostitue, I'll write back to you AND give you a dollar. Or more. How's that for a deal?
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