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60-year-old Male
Seeking Women: 18 - 99
Last Activity: > 3 months ago

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R.I.P. Matt Dillon  
James Arness of 'Gunsmoke' fame dead at 88
By FRAZIER MOORE AP Television Writer The Associated Press
Friday, June 3, 2011 6:37 PM EDT
It takes a special kind of lawman to carry on for 20 years in ...More...
7 comments | 0 kudos | 353 views | posted Jun 3, 2011 at 8:59 PM

Farting Dixie!  

This homeless guy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a whiskey."

The bartender says, "I'll have to see your money first."

"I'm broke, sonny, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I'll get ...More...
16 comments | 0 kudos | 468 views | posted Jun 2, 2011 at 4:45 PM

Masturbators of America,  
Give Yourself a Hand!
You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You"
or "Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear ...More...
10 comments | 2 kudos | 405 views | posted Jun 1, 2011 at 9:28 AM

The Phallus Explained!  
Camilla had come to see Dr. Hardy, one of the better-known Freudian shrinks in town.

When the shrink began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?"

"A phal...More...
7 comments | 0 kudos | 316 views | posted May 31, 2011 at 8:20 AM

Good Ol' Days  
I hate all this terrorist business

What happened to the good old days when you could look at an unattended bag
on a train or bus and think to yourself... I’m going to take that.
8 comments | 0 kudos | 490 views | posted May 30, 2011 at 8:12 AM

A Drink For A Douche Bag!  

A drunk man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he waits for the bartender to mix his cocktail, he notices a woman alone at the end of the bar. When his drink comes, he says, "Hey b-b-b-arten...More...
4 comments | 0 kudos | 338 views | posted May 27, 2011 at 11:22 AM

UPDATE: U.S. Navy defeats Disney for right to make money off of SEAL Team 6  
by Sean O'Neal May 25, 2011

Dedicated to stopping tyranny wherever it may find it, the U.S. Navy has stepped up to challenge Disney’s attempts to trademark “SEAL Team 6,” whom Disney ho...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 311 views | posted May 26, 2011 at 7:21 AM

Horoscopes For The Week Of May 23rd  

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
Sometimes words are simply not enough to express how someone is feeling, which is why people keep insisting on defecating on your doorstep.

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
Your que...More...
12 comments | 0 kudos | 361 views | posted May 25, 2011 at 12:32 PM

God Apologizes for Missing the Rapture, Blames Microsoft Outlook  

Everlasting Father says a software glitch caused Him to miss Judgment Day, leaving thousands stuck here on Earth.
An eSarcasm exclusive.

By Dan Tynan (@tynan_on_tech)
May 23, 2011

The story...More...
3 comments | 0 kudos | 314 views | posted May 23, 2011 at 1:03 PM


"Is it real?"

"Hot diggity dog!"

"Am I dreaming?"

"Can I keep you?"

"Excuse me while I clear my throat..."

Get down on your knees, look heavenwar...More...
5 comments | 0 kudos | 353 views | posted May 23, 2011 at 8:30 AM

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