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Very naughty old-school boy
If you are looking for a Jack-in-the-Box drive-through order male, kindly look elsewhere.
Who am I and why am I here? I am a VERY naughty boy! I love my wife, but the most intimate aspects of our relationship are sorely lacking. She is aware of my activities here at AMD, with the understanding that the end-goal is to improve myself as a man and a husband through the worldly advice of others. My church won't help me - there's always a death, or a cancer, or an invalid who rightly takes precedence over our concerns. Beyond which, I'm not sure that group is culturally suited to helping troubled marriages or would feel comfortable in such a role. Divorce is not an option because it is wrong. Our only "out" is for me to find a mistress - basically, a second "wife" supported financially but without the legal agreement concomitant with marriage. This subject has been broached with my wife; and it is a course I would like to avoid except as an absolute last resort.
My wife: She was my only girlfriend, and I married her. It's become apparent to me, through evidence, that apparently some women enjoy sex! I often wonder what it would be like to share in the affections a woman who actually enjoys, who actually craves the affections of a man. How's that for brutal honesty? :-) So where is the dynamism (not mechanical), spontaneity (not routine) part of our intimate life?
I am strong in my convictions, can be pugnacious and pedantic at times, and do go against the grain.
Actually I'm a pretty fun guy with a sense of humor, more John Cleese than Jerry Seinfeld. I can be a sophisticate or a goofball depending on the situation. I can be deadly serious, sometimes (being honest) I can be a complete jerk, and other times your most intimate companion.
The person I would like to meet
The female form is something of transcendent beauty, something to be reverenced. It is true - men are wired for physical attraction. It's unavoidable!
But let's come back to the physical aspect. My wife was about 80 lbs overweight when I married her, but a pretty woman. Now, I like a gal who is a little chunky, but I figured that, if after entering our life together I treated her like a prince his princess, she would want to do her utmost to please me. Besides her weight she was, and is, a very attractive redhead. I kept my feelings about her weight to myself, until eventually, as it became apparent she was going to continue drinking only regular coke, and eating donuts and pasteries. This shook me, and unconsciously at first, I began treating her a bit more coldly. This culminated into a major mistake I made: I openly broached the sacred curtain of a woman's most sensitive matter: her weight.
Now there was no coming down, because now she ate out of anxiety, digging herself a deeper hole. Her health has suffered.
In the meantime, I have stopped attending all weddings - why should I give my blessing and benediction to a couple who are about to engage in the highest and most sacred union between the sexes, with complete and blithe abandon, when I myself feel I have been robbed? It has affected how I treat these couples as well. Anger. Jealosy. Uncontrolled misery within the inner sanctum of my own thoughts.
Remember, divorce is not an option for us, and we take this very seriously.
Thne ideal wife I have now would put on makeup to make herself feel good. She paints her nails. She has her hair permed. And she (though it will be very hard) sweats and burns the 80 lbs. and becomes beautiful on the outside and inside. She can suddenly do things - run, hike, put on bathing suit, that she won't do now because of her insecurity due to weight. HAPPINESS
About my work
I am a professional in a technical field. I enjoy my work greatly.
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
For fun, I like taking my dog on hikes, listening to classical music performances, photography. I enjoy camping and adventures, and just walks through the park. Also I appreciate and try to take opportunities to learn about other cultures and languages.
My idea of a great date
It is mid-day, a balmy summery day. We meet in a park for a picnic. I learn more about you, your hopes, your dreams, your desires. We walk. Gradually, inhibitions subside.
I push you on the swing. We are again children, carefree. Tentatively, we touch. We hold hands, with mutual - but still restrained - exhilaration of the possibility of new love.
We eat a simple picnic lunch together. I look at the shape of your eyes and ponder the things they have seen. I consider your your face - its shape. Perhaps it is freckled, perhaps smooth and olive, perhaps pale. I wonder what you are feeling, how to make you happy, and try to read you. Then we burst out laughing and have a fantastic afternoon together.
If you are divorced/widower, you can talk about how that happened here.
We don't intend to be divorced. We are looking in some rather unlikely places for HELP. And I hope that I may be a HELP to you by way of reciprocity.
What is your academic background?
I have studied electrical engineering and classical liberal arts. I constantly study things that interest me - education is lifelong - and have been accused of being pedantic at times. Friends say I've gotten better over time.
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
We camped at Dry Falls Lake with four adults, three kids, and a Doberman, with another famliy. We boated. We saw a snake. We (meaning the dog, kids, and I, as the wife does not like physical activity) did many walks/hikes together.
What do you find attractive in people?
Grace, the ability to stay above the fray.
Honor: Act in accord with generally accepted moral tenets about right and wrong. Find a wallet with $200 in it? You find the owner and give it back. Karma is a bitch otherwise.
With women, a certain shyness, and quietude (but not to the point of making me guess!) is something that really turns me on.
What do others do that irritate you?
One thing that irritates me greatly: A woman who calls me "babe" when she doesn't even know me.
Another thing is a quid-pro-quo relationship between money and sex. Any woman I am committed to, wife or mistress, will be taken care of. I am not interested in a prostitute.
What do you think is your best quality?
My ability to pursue goals deeply and thoroughly. My mind is that of the engineer, the scientist, as is my sense of humor.
What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
I wish I could be more empathetic toward people. Empathy, which comes naturally to most, is something I have had to learn by rote.
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
Does life have any meaning beyond pleasure?
Describe your physique.
My physique is decent. I stay fit, am a fast walker, and disdain laziness. I am not a workout freak and try to remain well-rounded in body, mind, and spirit. Physically, you could not pick me out of a crowd; I consider myself quite average, but a pretty decent looking guy.
What do you do well sexually?
My experience is limited to one woman, but she deeply appreciates the quality of my head.
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
I wonder what it would be like to make love to a woman who enjoys sex. I've never experienced that.
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Impossible: only ONE sexual partner my entire life.
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
I'm looking for help. A mistress is a last resort, one I hope does not materialize.
Free Space. Say anything you want!
A few words about the late Leszek Kolakowski:
Leszek Kolakowski’s philosophical project was a long, rigorous, deeply humane protest against that kind of spiritual vandalism. Kolakowski knew that European civilization was built on the foundations of biblical religion, Greek philosophy, and Roman law. It was built, that is, on the conviction that life is not just one damn thing after another; a robust confidence in the human capacity to get to the truth of things; and a settled determination to order societies by means other than sheer coercion. Leszek Kolakowski’s defense of the civilization of the West against the barbarism he was convinced was inherent in the Marxist enterprise was an impressive intellectual accomplishment. It was also the accomplishment of a noble soul.
If you like this kind of thing, we can talk, with platonic goals of course.
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