Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
Mom warned you about me and your dad FEARS me.
NO INSANELY NEEDY, WANT TO PLAN A WEDDING ON THE FIRST MEETING TYPES. Other crazies also get a do not enter sign. Hmmm unless you're a fun sort of crazy. That might work. If you seem flaky or your profile doesn't have some verbal meat to it you're unlikely to get a reply as well. Now that the doom and gloom warning is over, you want to know more about me huh?
Excellent choice if I do say so myself. Well I'm:
Blond haired (except for my beard, think famous pirate)
In posession of blue eyes (I stole them)
Hard-headed (I can hammer in Nails with it. Gives me a pounding headache though)
Affectionate sometimes (Uh oh. I'm starting to sound like a puppy...)
Sadistic sometimes (That's better.)
Cocky most times (Aren't I simply wonderfull?)
Into simple and drama-free.
A sucker for a nice smile.
A sucker for certain accents and dialects. Ghetto is NOT one of them and I cannot stand it. Sorry girls Southern isn't exotic to me. Gee I wonder why that could be. Doesn't mean I dislike it but I am a Texas boy. You'll just have to work harder.
Someone who hates when people act ignorant on purpose because they think it's cool.
Who I am and I'm not gonna change just because you want me too.
Not one to be told what to do.
Not into women with kids my age. (Not looking for a replacement mother. Even if I do threaten mine with that from time to time. Shhh. Don't tell her.)
Not interested in people who can't spell or use proper grammar. I'm not saying you have to be perfect (After all I'm a tough act to follow) but if I have to spend more time deciphering your writing than I would Spanish (something I'm not fluent in but can speak in babytalk) or German (It's all Greek to me) I'm not going to be too interested.
The person I would like to meet
If you're still here congratulations, after all I dont bite.....hard......usually(Hand behind my back??? Ummm no my fingers aren't crossed. Not at all).
As you can doubtless tell, a sense of humor is a must. The ability to discern sarcasm is downright critical. Most of all you need to have a sense of play. I play rough and you need to be able to keep up (Hey get your mind out of the gutter. That's not what I meant... Mostly).
I don't stalk people. Waste of my time really. DON'T even think of stalking me. Yes that means you Elizabeth.
I'd like to meet someone that can keep my attention, someone young at heart, funny, pretty, adventurous, someone who doesnt mind going out and walking, catching a movie, shopping in eclectic places, or perhaps a long conversation in front of a fireplace. You also need to be able to talk in five languages fluently, juggle, and perform acrobatics and ice skating at an olympic level of competition. Ok just kidding about the last few.... Except for the ice skating.
On the physical side no twigs! No anorexics, bulimics or people who don't like to eat. However, don't think you can go to the other side of the spectrum either. If you need a crane to get you out of the house and have to ride in a heavy duty pickup bed to get there, DON'T COME!
Blah, Blah, Blah, blah blah ... blah. I'm really a fun, kind-hearted guy. Yeah right, I nearly gagged typing that but it's an almost obligatory sentence in every profile. I'm really a prick, and a ball buster. I'm going to pick on you and call you on your BS. If you throw a temper tantrum because you don't get your way, I'll call you on it and verbally slap you around a bit. The wierdest thing about that is you'll probably end up loving me for it. If you're looking for someone to tell you how pretty you are and basically kiss up to you at all times... Do I really need to finish that sentence?
About my work
My work.... Hmmm. I drive a truck. I drive it all over the US and I love it. I see natural splendors and meet interesting people almost everyday.
What do you like to do for fun/hobbies?
Sooooo many. Aside from sex which I'm horrid at there's:
Computer and console games,
Walking and exploring interesting places,
Meeting new people,
Finding out what makes a woman tick ( one day I'll manage this. just you wait. Hey don't scoff! Just because I'll be the first man to ever do so.... Allright it's an impossible task. Mostly fun trying though),
My idea of a great date
A great date that would bring me back for more.... Each woman is different but for all passion is the key. If they have no passion then they tend to be dull and uniteresting. If there's nothing they enjoy and want to share and teach then what's the point of meeting them again. They bored me the first time.
What is your fantasy vacation?
A world cruise would be nice but as long as we're talking straight fantasy a moon walk would be most excellent.
What is your academic background?
Superb of course. Can't you tell? I will say that the primary focus for my degree is seldom utilized now but I'm much happier given the changes that first area of expertise has undergone.
Where did you last vacation and did you like it?
Ugh another vacation question. I think I'll leave something to chat about in person.
What do you find attractive in people?
Other than what I've already described? Intellect and sassiness. That delicate balance of persona that is charsima. But then almost EVERYONE finds that attractive so.....
What do others do that irritate you?
Waste my TIME. If I could be having fun elsewhere and you flake on me or test me or play games I'll get just slightly irritated. Wait maybe I should reconsider the games some of them are kinda fun. Pinochle anyone? (What did you THINK I was gonna say? You gutter mind!)
What do you think is your best quality?
My personality. Good thing too. I'd rather have that than be thought of as the greatest hunk ever. 9 times out of 10 hunk boy is boring and can't figure out why he can't keep a truly good woman.
What one thing would you change about your personality if you could?
Are you KIDDING me?
What one question would you want answered in an initial email from another member?
Just one? Ummm... Are you a crazy nutjob? Can you prove it? Crud that's two but I'm going with it anyway.
Describe your physique.
A little over weight but I carry it well with quite a bit of muscle underneath. I'm one cuddly teddy bear that does what no teddy bear can.
What do you do well sexually?
I also need to unload some excellent ocean front property in Arizona.
What is the favorite thing you like sexually done to you?
Hmmm. I normally drive so this is a tuffy. I've met women who say they are masters at giving oral but it never pans out. It just seems an adequate filler to get me hard for the main course. I'm not into recieving pain but giving a little works. But that's not a favorite.... On second thought I'd rather see if my partner can figure me out as I figure her out.
What fantasy(s) are you still waiting to experience?
Multiple woman orgy. Hey I'm a guy live with it.
What fantasy(s) have you already experienced?
Uhuh. Nope. If you want this particular resume you'll just have to see if your exciting and lucky enough to experience it in person.
Do you have any STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)?
Are you looking for a one night stand, to play for a while, or a long-term Adult relationship?
No one nighters. They aren't worth the time. So definitely play for a while and if you are the lucky individual who strikes it off, I want long term.
Free Space. Say anything you want!
Anything you want!
Why they wanted me to say that is beyond me since I'm a prick and mostly do what I want. Oh well their website their silly rules I guess.
*WARNING* AdultMatchdoctor does not screen its members. It is very important that you read our safety warning before you communicate with any of our members.
Profiles from Non-English speaking countries have their own special section on the safety warning page,
make sure to read it if you are responding to such profiles!
*18 U.S.C. 2257* This website is exempt from 18 U.S.C. 2257. This website does not produce visual depictions of actual sexual conduct, but
is a mere hosting service/distributor of classified dating ads that may contain such photos submitted by our members. Read more here.