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Erectivist Plank #1...

posted 4/6/2007 10:12:56 AM |
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You've been introduced to the general philosophy. You've had a peek at the Master Plan. Thanks to a fresh infusion of cash from my cronies errr contributors at Cellar Enterprises LLC, and a healthy donation from a certain Australian gentleman, I can bring to you the Erectivist Party Platform... A series of informative lectures designed to mislead err educate you and ease your troubled mind. So just sit back, crack open a cold one, or a fifth, take a drag off this and open your mind.

Erectivist Party Platform Plank #1 - The Environment

Much fretting and knashing of teeth has been brought about by concerns over Global Warming. As I walked to the car this morning in sub 30 degree April temperatures, I've decided something definately needs to be done. The Erectivist Party will support and fund programs to increase Global Warming as a priority goal of the Administration. Unlimited Aerosols, chainsaws running day and night, the return of the most damaging refrigerants, these will lead as the most immediate changes we will implement.

We are wary of the science of Global Warming. We understand the current scientific community is championed by the "Creator of the Internet". This bumbling boob couldn't even win his home state against the biggest farce ever to make a ballot, but now he's an expert on Climatology. As for the real experts, we must always remember that these folks come from the very same community that can't tell you what the weather is going to be like TOMMORROW. But we should all trust in their 75 year predection. Come now friends, does this seem at all logical to you?

There is legitimate concern over our dependence on foreign oil. The Erectivists share your concern. If elected I will immediately begin a program to increase production of domestic fuels. The first step in that program will be to fund a study to develop a high horsepower combustion engine that runs solely on ELK. This will bring about a dramatic decrease in Elk population thus freeing ANWAR for oil exploration and production.

Our hope is that average temperatures will rise quickly enough that April will return to being a "Spring" month before the giant asteroid hurtling toward us at 200 times the speed of sound crushes this insignificant rock we inhabit, thus ending life as we know it and any historical record of our brief existance.

You see friends time is short, in November 2008 (if November comes...) vote Erectivist! what have you got to lose?

As always I stand Erect before you, ready to service you in any way I can.

It Ain't Dick If It Ain't Erect.

This concludes the presentation, I will now accept questions and praise from the floor.

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post a comment!


Apr 6 @ 1:03PM  
Just hand over the cock!!!

Apr 6 @ 3:40PM  
As you wish Madam. of course we should discuss a donation?

Apr 6 @ 5:31PM  
Fuck the Dick!!!Pudge for President!!!!!!

Apr 6 @ 5:36PM  
Saddam would have been popular here ... he was hung.

Apr 6 @ 5:39PM  
Bro, this now elevates your erection to new heights; something the women here will be very pleased to take note of. No longer do I need to "hold" your hand; you have finally "cut the cord",and all you will get from me in the future is cold cash. Now please understand that whatever I give you I have to give to DS and the Whig Bitch Party; may the best erection win.

Apr 6 @ 8:40PM  
Ah pudge I am happy to see the direction of this erectivist party taking hold. I am happy to have been part of its formation and as always stand by you as your campaign manager. keep up the erection I hear 2008 will be a promising year. Stand tall my friend

it aint Dick if it aint erect.

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Erectivist Plank #1...