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posted 4/4/2007 4:17:47 PM |
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tagged: email, fantasy, cheating, flirting, secretly

Let me first say that I love my wife like no-one could, ever. She's smart, sincere, pretty, honest, brave (even brave enough to admit that she cheated one me a couple of times, in the past). I know she loves me, too. Even if she wouldn't tell me (but she does), it would still be obvious. We are, so to say, soulmates.

She is a very busy woman, and rather hysterical. She has a very demanding journalistic job, with a lot of deadlines and often almost too much work to cope with in the short time that she has. In combination with her character, this leads to stress, of course. And stress, in her case, is: shouting, panicking, screaming, crying. She gets verbally agressive and often tells me to "fuck off" when I try to help her, although she asked me for help.

She is working from home most of the time, just like me. We together make an above average living, we hardly ever have to struggle financially.

When she is really busy, I try to cope with the situation by taking my daughter and dog out for a long, relaxing walk. And when we get back, mostly my wife has calmed down, IF work has finished (if not we go for another walk), and turns into a loveable woman: sweet to our daughter, sweet to me, caring, loving, gorgeous. If not, I take my daughter to another room. We play and chat there, me catching up on some work in-between.

My daughter knows her mum by know and has developed a way of coping with it. I personally think she shouldn't have to, but my daughter has somehow figured out how to deal with it.

The same goes for me, with the exception that both my wife and myself expect to have a decent shag together on a regular basis. And that's where the problem kicks in...

I know I have a good libido. I get aroused by almost any woman who looks anything close to decent. I like them old, young, fat, thin, shy or perverse. I get aroused easily and quickly. Mechanically, so to say, I know I'm game.

However, I find it very hard to get excited by a woman purring like a kitten, if she just five minutes ago called me the greatest bastard in the world. And we have had our share of fights over that already. If she turns from a screaming monster into a sex-hungry nymphomane in a matter of two minutes, I simply have trouble to keep up with the pace. If I'm called a "bastard loser" by her, I find it very difficult to still have my equipment hard & ready two minutes after.

It has gotten so bad that I at this point really have to think of that gorgeous secretary, shopkeeper, girl-next-door, to keep an erection while having sex with my wife.

And if I don't have an erection, because she just told me that I am the worst, most lazy, ignorant, person in the world, I get bollocks big time. She doesn't seem to understand that I'd be all over her if she would just quit the mental abuse.

I don't want to divorce. Does anybody have an advice?

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Apr 4 @ 4:56PM  
Your right it is abuse ... it is taking liberties ... mentally or physically... and the "performance" issues are self fulfilling prophecies ... the effect of which is to trigger the next round of ... loser, lazy ... whatever... physical or mental its all abuse.

We all have stress, deadlines etc just as overwhelming to us as yours are to you ... and most relationships don't devolve into this kind of toxic warfare. The issue here is simple... abuse has been made OK in this relationship, it prolly started with the Multiple infidelities, it has been demonstrated to her that nothing is sacred, and she is not going to be held accountable for her actions and her responsibilities to the relationship. You have reinforced that there there will be no consequences for these actions.

The resolution is not simple, it has gone to far... you are too invested in not giving up the relationship, and she knows it. Your choices are plain ... professional help, or disillusionment... I know, I know, your at panic at the sight of the "D" word... If she loves you, truly, if she is committed to the relationship she will acquiesce as soon as YOU demonstrate your resolve that this is unacceptable behavior. or she will toss you aside like garbage . suddenly kicking you to the curb with vigor and blame all the future failures on you, which is what she is doing now with her current failures and disappointments. In fact she "Needs" you ... if you weren't around to deflect blame to, she would be stuck with this responsibility herself, and that is something she can't face.

Sorry for the tuff lov Bro ... but you asked


Master Gry

Apr 4 @ 5:05PM  
Well...first I'd like to point out that you posting a problem like this on a sex/adult site, is kind of heading already one way, don't ya think? Be honest with yourself at least, if you are being honest with us. Hey, if it stays up by thinking of another girl, more power to ya. In fact, instead of allowing her to mentally abuse you, give it back. Call her a dirty whore while having sexual activity or even a stupid whiny bitch. Maybe the issue isn't that she calls you names and things, but the issue could be your accepting it without rebuttal. If she has an issue with you calling her name, talk to her about what she does, and if the problem persists....hey, that girl next door is there for a reason. It is crude of me to say it, but the fact of the matter is life is short, so you had better live it to its fullest. I am not outright say to cheat on her, but if you are a very sexual man with a woman who apparently gets off on printer type rather than the man she marries, then share the seed with the rest of the world.

Apr 4 @ 7:34PM  
I dont know what would be worse...the mental abuse or the physical. If you really loved her, tell her she needs help, offer to go to..if not for you then for your daughter. How one could tolerate this kind of behavior is beyond me. I wouldnt..nor would i allow my child to have to find ways to deal with the parents outbursts of hatred and name calling..A child should never have to be even in ear shot of a parents arguement. Sorry, but i think your wife needs a timeout....And some serious help is needed. I understand you love her, and you say she loves you....but, wow thats a weird way of showing love to ones spouse. Kinda screwed up. I think i would say "you know, if your going to continue to verbally abuse me, then, when you think you can have a decent conversation with me, here's where you can find me." And leave...maybe just temporally, maybe she'll get the hint that your tired of these kind of outbursts, and your not going to tolerate it and it's not good for your child. Sometimes a separation is good. It's hard, but it could be good...only you two can work it out. Give it a shot. Good luck

Jul 28 @ 9:55PM  
I'm sure you love her, and so is she. But she doesn't love nor respect you, which is fine, Remember it's her head trip. Not yours. Keep doing what you're doing, just kill your emotions, but do not allow her to know that they are dead. Without her knowledge put earplugs in when you fvck her. Envision raping her while you have sex with her, it changes your psychology into the dominator, this will build your confidence up to the point where the true problem lies. In the money. Stop giving her all your money. Now when you do this, she will stop giving you sex, and you will finally see that she is not your wife, she's your prostitute. And no pussy is worth your whole income.

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