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I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Joke

posted 4/4/2007 12:34:04 AM |
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  swyeter

When I turned 59 I discovered that I now have - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -- they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The driveway is flooded
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
There is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses ,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

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Comments:

post a comment!

cabl_guy

Apr 4 @ 12:40AM  
Great blog! Kudo to you! Sad but true.
Sunshine79

Apr 4 @ 12:43AM  
Can you at least remember the last time you had sex???

That was cute!!
MakeUgetLOUD

Apr 4 @ 12:46AM  
You should really try some pot... no joke
Plus recent studies have found that it helps prevent alzheimers... kind of ironic
At the very least you'll never lose the remote if you just sit and watch tv
HollyHummy

Apr 4 @ 1:48AM  
I would tell you to tie a string around your finger but you would forget what the string was for anyway..
bentan

Apr 4 @ 2:50AM  
Arrrggghhhh!! That's me!! *** runs away screaming ***
Ashinatrix

Apr 4 @ 7:38AM  
Now WHY did I come in here again....??
tetons

Apr 4 @ 8:56AM  
good blog dude. hits the nail on the head. course i couldn't find the hammer, so i tried to use my shoe.
str8ngr84u2

Apr 4 @ 11:57AM  
Oh hell, it's happening to me already!
maggiemae1969

Apr 4 @ 12:03PM  
<<<<<<<<<<<<<< totally understands...................

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I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Joke