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Blogging Just 4 the Sake of Blogging (Part One)

posted 4/2/2007 6:53:53 PM |
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tagged: whig

Some people might consider this 2 be irresponsible of me. 2 them I say shut the fuck up! No one’s listening 2 Ur dumb ass anyway. If they were, I wouldn’t exist. I wouldn’t be here 2 torture U with my incessant use of narcoglyphs and drug referenced scribblings the way I do so well, would I? No...becuz these pages would be full with whatever blather U would have fill them instead of me.

But they’re not. Why iz that? Well...quite frankly, it iz becuz everyone loves me. Even those of U who claim otherwise know this iz true. All men want 2 be me and all women want 2 sleep with me. It’s just a basic fact of life we must all learn 2 deal with if we are 2 get along.

Don’t get all mad at’s not my fault. U think I want this? U think I need this kind of fucking stress? Do I honestly need 2 be constantly at odds with my woman just cuz other bitches fucking want me and I have no fucking self control? No, I don’t. Do I really need 2 have 2 deal with dudes’ petty bullshit attitudes cuz they’re jealous of me and their women want 2 bone me? No, I don’t. But, do I still have 2 deal with these things? Yes, I least, 4 as long as I plan 2 be me.

I have been tossing the idea around my head of becoming someone else. 4 awhile I thought that someone else might be a she, but thank god I realized that wuz a bad plan. The last thing the world needs iz me in silky fucking underwear, trust me. But I haven’t given the idea of changing my identity up completely. It duz, after all, have its advantages.

4 instance, I could wipe out my entire debt just like that. Of course, paying my bills would accomplish the same thing, but it iz far more expensive. I would also be able 2 own a gun, or drive legally again, or practice medicine, or fly a plane or get a passport and travel. All of these things have been taken from me. I could reclaim them. Of course, I hate guns, don’t like 2 drive, can’t stand the sight of blood, don’t want anything 2 do with a fucking plane and really got no place 2 fucking go anyway. But that’s not the point. I could change my fucking mind, y’know?

What I should do iz get a job as a traveling salesman. That way I could spend all my time traveling the country, and I could get married and settle down with a different woman in every city. Start a family, live the simple life, build a little spot in the suburbs 4 the wife and kids. Then move on 2 the next town and do it all again with a different bitch. Who knows...maybe the variety would keep me from cheating. No...I don’t think so, either. One of U bitches would come along, shake Ur ass and fuck me all up. It happens every fucking time.

I suppose my new identity could be a queer. That would certainly solve the female problem. But then I would have 2 deal with men and their bullshit. Fuck that. What am I, an idiot? Besides, sucking cock iz gross. I don’t know how U bitches find a way 2 like doing it. Especially when U could just be a lesbian instead. But then U would have 2 deal with lesbian broads and they are trippy characters 2, so I don’t know what 2 tell U. Keep sucking cock, I guess. Be the best fucking cocksucker U can be. Matter of fact, if U would like an outside opinion I am always available. It duzn’t matter if U are good or bad, just so long as U keep improving...that’s what I say. And since I used the better part of this paragraph 2 trying 2 entice some bitch N2 giving me a spit shine I think that pretty much derails the whole fag thing. I don’t know what it iz, but when U claim 2 be a fag and U still fuck with women, the other fags get all pissy about it. They can be such bitches, I swear. And they’re always trying 2 get me drunk. Like alcohol iz going 2 do anything about the six inches hanging between his legs (oddly enough, this iz true. U could take Isaac from The Love Boat, put him in an evening gown and eight Alabama Slammers later he will look just like Halle Berry. It’s incredible, but true. How do U think Star Jones got hired? He went out drinking with Barbara Walters one day after football practice, got tricked N2 putting on a skirt and the rest iz history.). I don’t care if it feels good! I think I want my mother. She’ll put a stop 2 this shit.!

She duzn’t give a shit. “That’s what U get 4 hanging around those Nancy boys 2 begin with! I told U 2 stay out of my makeup! What the hell are U doing hanging around the barbershop if U don’t want a haircut?” That’s mom 4 U...always a pillar of wisdom. A beacon of strength 2 help guide me. My God...iz it fucking Happy Hour yet? I’m really not a momma’s boy, I swear!


Keeping U posted


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Apr 2 @ 8:23PM  

sry i got so busy tryin to be you i forgot to go to work

Apr 2 @ 8:26PM  
Mr. Parker??

Apr 2 @ 9:04PM  
Dooooooooooood. Ya dint menshun nunya biatches. Ya freakin suck.

Apr 3 @ 11:05AM  
Um DS are you asking for a blowjob????

Apr 3 @ 5:51PM  
I just read part 1 so you wouldn't blow a gasket pops! I know the real stuff is in part two.

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Blogging Just 4 the Sake of Blogging (Part One)