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Anyone Wanna Watch?

posted 3/28/2007 8:25:30 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: whig

I wuz watching this porn the other day that had Shay Sweet in it (B4 she bought herself some new titties...believe it or not, some bitches are sexy and flat-chested). I didn’t have anything better 2 do so I decided I would yank one off. I stripped off my clothes, grabbed some lube and preceded 2 wax my noodle awhile.

Well, the movie wuz pretty fucking hot, and I wuz feeling good so I started taking my time about it. Whenever I would get close I would slow down, maybe take a short break, then grab a little more lube and go at it some more. B4 I knew it I had been jacking off 4 two fucking hours and the fucking movie wuz over and done with! I wuz still sitting here pumping my hand up and down an oily cock that seemed hard enough 2 put somebody’s eye out with when I decided I better let some pressure loose B4 I hurt myself or something.

So I restarted the movie and began again, only this time I didn’t do anything 2 restrain myself as I felt the pressure begin 2 build. Finally I could tell that release wuz imminent, so I started 2 get ready. Any second now...I could feel it. Pretty soon I would reach the point of no return (U guys know what I am talking about. We know we are going 2 come and can’t do shit about it 4 a few seconds B4 we actually do. That’s why we always think we can pull it out in time), then I would get up and use my towel 2 catch it, right?

Then it started. I stood up and felt my body shudder as the orgasm began. The pressure, which had been building up the whole time but became extreme when I stood, now seemed unbearable. I felt my cock throb as the cum filled my rigid meat, then every muscle in my body began 2 shake as I started 2 ejaculate.

The first stream of hot, sticky cum shot from the end of my cock and landed across the living room near the television. I wuz racked with more spasms and another long stream of cum followed the first but fell a couple of inches short of the first one’s eight feet or so. I shot three more times, all of which flew over the couch and splattered on2 the coffee table, traveling a good four feet in the process. My orgasm lasted another ten or twelve seconds, but by then my balls had obviously been drained of contents. Then I collapsed and thought 2 myself, “WOW!”

Guess what? I didn’t make this shit up. Not only that, but I have done this shit more than once. I would say the farthest it ever shot iz pretty close 2 ten feet. I measured it with a fucking tape measure, I shit U not! I think the longest one has ever lasted wuz damned near forty-five minutes (not ejaculating the whole time, though. Come 2 think of it, I wuzn’t jacking off that time either, so that would make it something else entirely. Please disregard any mention of it lasting forty-five minutes. Thank U). I am fairly confident that I can do it whenever I want, since I carry all the necessary equipment with me whenever I leave, and I really don’t need anyone else’s help.

I am curious, though, whether anyone else can do this or not. I have never seen or heard anything about it (U would think U would if it wuz out there), but even I am not so egotistical 2 think I am somehow sexually unique. If anyone out there has ever seen a guy do this or has done it himself, let me know about it, would U?

And if anyone out there wants 2 see me do it, let me know about that 2. Maybe we can work something out. I’ll sell U a videotape or something. Noodle Waxing 101 with Dick Slippery. Two solid hours of solid stroking with the master of masturbation himself B4 climaxing with an eight foot cum shot! It can all be Urs 4 the low, low price of just $9.95. And if U act now I will even throw in the underwear I am wearing (I don’t wear any) at no extra charge! How U gonna beat a deal like that? Until U can watch me beat this instead!

Keeping U posted


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Top 200 Reasons I Still Fucking Love It Here at AMD (in FunkyVision)
Top 200 Reasons I Still Fucking Love It Here at AMD (in RidiculousVision)
Top 200 Reasons I Still Fucking Love It Here at AMD (in several parts)
Top 200 Reasons I Still Fucking Love It Here at AMD (In several parts)
U Gotta Be Shitting Me...Right?
When Enuffs Znuff
Depends on Who’s Doing the Peeing
Blogging Just 4 the Sake of Blogging (Part Two)
Blogging Just 4 the Sake of Blogging (Part One)
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas X
Talk About Swinging Both Ways
Anyone Wanna Watch?
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas IX Part Two
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas IX Part One
Really...Its Just a Bunch of Fucking Gibberish
U Do Know This Iz a Sex Site, Right?
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas Vol. VIII
Blogging on the Fly
WTF Iz a Whig, Anyway (Part Two)
WTF Iz a Whig, Anyway? (Part One)
Boil It Down...Its Still Just Looking 4 Pussy (Part Two)
Boil It Down…Its Still Just Looking 4 Pussy (Part One)
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Dildos, Legumes and NASCAR


post a comment!


Mar 28 @ 8:37PM  
Ba ha ha ... I betcha 'twas wind-assisted!

Mar 28 @ 8:52PM  
actully..........yes...and if ya think 2hrs is something....try 3.5 and the help of a sexy partner ......i shit you not...da' bomb

Mar 28 @ 9:02PM  
I'll watch, I find that shit impressive, I've only been with one guy that can shoot his load over my head and onto the wall!!

I'm sure we can come to some sort of compromise over the $9.95 fee!!

Mar 28 @ 9:11PM  
I am, of course, willing 2 negotiate the price in Ur case, darling.


Mar 28 @ 9:19PM  
HOLY SHIT!!! I just realized!!!
WELCOME BACK, B!! U sick and twisted motherfucker! We missed Ur diplomatic skills while U were gone, man! Good 2 have U back!


Mar 28 @ 9:33PM  
I volunteer to just bend over in front of you, like over a couch or something, for the two hours, so you can masturbate to the vision of me Yanno, anything to help ya make a buck and get your ass back online full time! (I am SUCH a giver!)

Mar 28 @ 9:36PM  
U see??? That's what I love about this bitch! She'll bend over 4ward just 2 help a friend! How many bitches would do that?

What kind of guy would I be 2 turn that down? Bring it on, PK! I'm waiting 4 ya!


Mar 28 @ 10:19PM  
Amazing! I just read about this the other day. It is called edging. When you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm and stop then move on and do it over and over. When you finally orgasm it is supposed to be like fireworks. Supposedly it works the same for women?! I will keep ya posted on that one as soon as I KNOW the results.....hehe.

Mar 28 @ 10:32PM  
Oh fuck yeah!! would LOVE to see that shit!!!

Mar 28 @ 10:59PM  
Good to be back SlipDickkery, have missed your blogs and shit!

Mar 28 @ 11:20PM  
Nope! The farthest was shooting it in her hair and on the headboard while doing her doggie-style. I pulled out last second and nailed her right in the side of the face as she turned around to look.

Mar 29 @ 1:33AM  
That was some pretty hot n' steamy writting you had there. Got me all worked up and wanting to play.

Mar 30 @ 1:25PM  
Uhhhhh, edging is putting it NICELY! and HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's all for now...
And from the man that did it to her: BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAA!

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Anyone Wanna Watch?