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Sexual SNAFUs

posted 3/27/2007 10:21:52 PM |
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We hear a lot about disease and have also heard a lot about erections lasting over 4 hours needing immediate medical attention but I don't hear much about other sexual SNAFUs. Are other bad things that uncommon or are people too embarassed to talk about it?

It is hard for me to believe that I am the only person who has stoved his back up trying to stuff his large self in the back of a small car and do the bump with a wild woman. It took me two weeks to get my back returned to normal after that.

You can break a dick! Just one wrong move and it snaps. Talk about ruining the mood!!! And that is a definite need for immediate medical attention. Quit screaming, get your clothes on and get to the emergency room.

I never broke mine but I came so close one time. I was screwing a woman that was pure wildcat sexually. God I miss her! We were having one of those all out wild animal hammering sessions when she started to climax and I was not more than 3 seconds from full climax and then it happened............she pulled long and I pulled long at the same time.........we became completely disengaged and when we came back together in that next big sledghammer drive, we were not lined up. We almost made another hole in her right there between the two she already had and my love tool buckled in the middle. The shock and pain shut us both right down. Snapped us both right out of the extacy we were in the middle of. My dick turned black and blue and was too sore to do anything with for several weeks. The soreness took a long time to completely leave and I had a pretty good sized dog knot in the middle of it for several years after that. It still scares me to think how close I came to having to have implants just to use it at all.

Then there was this guy I worked with..........he was screwing on the beach, sliped into the sand and tried to put it back in. Kinda brought everything to a screeching halt and the woman he was with was about to kill him.

OK I've opened the topic. There has to be more stories out there.

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Mar 27 @ 10:35PM  
This one time, I was fucking a guy, and I was on top. I decided it would be hot if I slid down onto my back and then pulled myself back up again without using my hands or pulling myself off of him, so I did. It worked great! But then on my way back up, I slammed my head into the shelves just above the foot of my bed, and it knocked me out. When I came to, he had laid me back in the middle of the bed and laid a blanket over me, cause he was about to call the paramedics! I was taking pain-killers for a week after because my head still hurt.

Mar 27 @ 10:47PM  
Once had a jelly cock ring get lost in my pussy......I flipped out!!!
I got it out, with no problems, thank god. I figured it this way, my mom is a nurse, I'd ask her to get it out before I went to the ER!!!

Also, yes, it's true, you can break your cock!! I was an operator for hospitals and I've gotten that call......

Mar 27 @ 11:03PM  
ummm...the bf in college walking in while doing it with someone else, the poisin ivy in the woods, the gruesome flare up of an infection afterward (while married), the kid walking in during "afternoon delight" with blood gushing out of his finger, ...
and the ever popular, ...i didnt know my period was about to start and gush all over...

Mar 27 @ 11:25PM  
<<<<<< Broken Dick also.. but it grew back with a great flit back curl....

Mar 28 @ 12:31AM  
Does it count as a SNAFU if there's no pain? Well, physical anyway. This has cursed me to this day...

I was stationed in Hawaii with the 3rd Marines and naturally, at 18-19-20, strip clubs were the only 'night-life' I could get. I was a regular at a club off the beaten path that held, as the PRE-EMINENT attraction a 38 (then) woman named 'Jennette'. Not a single flaw on her body, she was absolutely perfect. Playboy airbrushes girls to look this good. She loved me; I was in lust with her. One night I walk in and she lays the mother of all kisses on me. I've only been with one woman at this time and that girl sure wasn't this Goddess-like. She invites me to breakfast after work, then to her apartment. Long story short (kick me if you will), we're in her apartment (her 38 and horny, me 19 and horny) and............

I gave her a FOUR HOUR LONG leg massage.

She was wearing a wife-beater and a pair of TINY nylon running shorts. She was 5'10" , an enhanced (tastefully) bust, and no extra fat ANYWHERE. Four hours. She very politely and quietly sent my dumb ass packing. The following week (Hell hath no fury guys) she announced, to all of her co-workers and the only male that worked in the place, the door-guy, all of which were friends of mine (I was like Norm in that place), EXACTLY what had happened. "I took Chris home with me last week girls (and one guy, remember) and he gave me a four hour long massage and never took advantage of me." At this point, she hugs me close. I'm wishing someone would shoot me...

"He was wonderful, a good guy. HE WAS SUCH A PERFECT GENTLEMAN."

She never took me home again. She did, however, keep getting leg rubs from me.

That was 1993. Kill me now.

Mar 28 @ 3:49AM  
Geez! Imagine guys what kind of cast or splint you'd have to wear on your pecker! LOL! My best friend has a wife that is a nurse that does enhancements to the penis, and I have heard alot of horror stories she has told. So yeah I'd believe ya there biggreywolf. I guess that puts a new meaning on safe sex! OWWWCH! LOL! Crow.

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