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Is a Friendship Better or Sex?

posted 3/26/2007 2:33:13 AM |
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I was sitting and wondering theses questions one day. Can we live with out getting nailed? Is sex more improtant, or is a friendship? When did I grow up and realize that the guys, and some women, have no control?

I was talking to "Miss. eX" a few days ago, and shes not in the best relationship. The guy doesn't treat her well at all. I was thinking that I'd give her some advice one day. all I could think of was to leave him. If the man says he's gonna give you a black eye leave him right? Well, she agreed, and tried to justify him. It really shocked me how she was justifing him "I would leave him, but the sex is so good!". I was quiet for a while. "Miss. eX" would rather stay with a man that she hates then leave good sex. I can't wrap my mind around that. I really can't. I just felt so sad for her, How could someone do that?

Later on in the week I talked to her some more and she was talking about how he only comes around once a week now and she needs sex. I had to tell Miss eX to shut up and I don't wanna hear anymore of her complaining about him, and how they don't know anything about each other even after 5 months. She added that they are just having sex and they are together but that doesn't mean they are friends, but it upsets her that he didn't tell her his last name for 4 months or of the 5.

Did I miss the memo? If you're together as a couple, doesn't that mean you like to do things with the other person?

I don't understand, maybe its cus I grew up with 2 women and no men, maybe its cus I'm not normal, Or maybe its just a maturity thing, but I'm not like that at all. I wasn't when I was in my "Prime". Whats really weird is that I've heard it from other women and men, the "I don't love them, but I stay cus the sex is great!" or the "Its been 2 months and I need to get fucked."

I beg to everyone, before you go to bed with the one you're with, ask yourself,

What do I really know about them?
Do you talk about things besides sexual contex?
If I say I love them, do I really?

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Mar 26 @ 3:51AM  
I kept going back to the same man, i loved him then, and some part of me always will. It took me a long time to leave, for many different reasons. The biggest of those wasn't sex (although that never was a problem with us), i was comfortable where i was. We didn't hate each other, we just couldn't agree on a lot of things. I finally realized that it was better to step out of my comfort zone and be alone than be in a relationship that wasn't working. He and I are still friends, i don't see him all the time. When i do we sit and talk and catch up, and i still give him a hug and a kiss when we part. I know that most couples are very mean and hateful toward each other when a break-up occurs, and that's sad to me. It took two of us when it worked, and it took two of us when it didn't. There isn't anything bad i can say about him, and any woman that gets him is lucky.

Mar 26 @ 5:35AM  
very good

seems that some have their 'wiring' bass ackwards.......priorities .....just gota mix em up an reorginze em'

Mar 26 @ 7:45AM  
with my new GF the sex was ans is great,and our frendship continues to grow,plus we have made a committment to each other,but if I evr had to choose between the fantastic sex and her friendship,I would choose her friendship.

On another note,people that stay in abusive situations have serious issues that most of us don't even realize,and they need professinal help that I for one am not qualified to give.

Mar 26 @ 10:54AM  
I have found that women are not right in the head when it comes to abusive men.

I was actually trying hard for two years to get rid of my last girlfriend. And although I never hit her in anger, I was emotionally distant to her and verbally abusive. Despite that, she would not leave me. It took two years to finally get her out of my life.

Sure there may be something wrong with us men who are abusive to women, but are women that much more sane for staying with us?

Mar 26 @ 4:19PM  
I worked as a bartender and bouncer for a total of 8 years...and I heard many women complain about thier men...I never understood the reasoning any of them had for staying with their man...

After I heard the stories after a year, and at least a 100 times within my very first year of being a bartender/bouncer...I became numb to the women complaing about their men and not being totally happy...

Each and every story was the same as the last...just change a thing or two...however, the sad truth is...

If you're an asshole, and treat women like'll have more than you can handle...hell, you'll have one walking in the door to your bedroom while the other is walking out...

And yes, I speak from first hand experience...while I was in my 20's and using drugs...I treated women like shit, they were nothing more than a play thing, a fuck toy to me...

And I never had a problem finding a woman, and never had a problem keeping them...

Then one day my drug addiction ended my ass in prison...and while in prison...I took a good long and hard look in the mirror...and I hated who I saw looking back at me, and I also hated how I mistreated women...

So I felt it was time for a change, a very BIG CHANGE! So I cleaned up my act on my own, and I also knew I had to treat women a hell of a lot better than I did...

And since then...(1989)...when I was released from prison...when it comes to women and being a nice guy with a little of the old bad boy still in's the complete opposite...

Which I think is a payback for how I used to treat and look at they say...what goes around, comes around!

Mar 27 @ 4:02AM  
My ex-husband hit me 3 times before I called the cops, he spent the weekend in jail and never did it again. Stayed with him 2 more years before I decided I’d had enough of living with a man I wasn’t in love with.

The last boyfriend…. that’s a long story… never any physical abuse but I managed to get hurt more from him than anything else I’ve ever been through. After I fell in love with him…. found out he was engaged to someone else….

My problem is I refuse to fail at anything so I stick with it doing everything I can to make it work….. when I finally admit I can’t control everything and it’s not all for me to fix and I deserve better, I take the steps to end it.

I don’t know how I manage to pick em…. sex isn’t worth putting up with any kind of abuse.
At one point I decided I suck at being in a relationship so... I stopped dating...


Mar 27 @ 10:05PM  
Sometimes the thought of being alone is more terrible that what you’re already going through….

Mar 28 @ 6:07PM  
I'm sure as you have already gathered that it is most likely more then the sex that is keeping her with this guy. I can understand the frustration you have with her over such statements but we all have our stupid phases to go though in life. With women it's usually in dealing with guys.

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Is a Friendship Better or Sex?