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Can anyone Help?

posted 3/16/2007 10:37:06 AM |
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I am newly bi. I really enjoy the touch of a woman. I have been with two women now However, they are both women that I knew. My problem is I may see a woman I like but I can't get myself to tell her. I am afraid of offending her. On here it is so easy to talk to women however, we are always too far apart to actually meet. Dont get me wrong I love talking to all women on here but I really want to do more than talk. I want to hang out and get to know each other. I want to spark of a friendship with another bi girl that way whenever we are in the mood to have some fun we can. I just can't get over my shyness. I can let any guy know how I feel but it is so different with women. So does anyone have any advice for me? Another question is are there any signs that a woman puts off to let you know she is bi or interested in me? I know we don't just come out and say that we are bi. Oh this is stupid sorry for bothering everyone. I am just really confused.

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Mar 16 @ 11:03AM  
try the forums....prob do better

Mar 16 @ 11:03AM  
just be yourself. open and honest hurt far less people than hiding something that you feel you should tell. let the woman you know that like her.

Mar 16 @ 12:34PM  
Wow. That is quite the predicament. I have lived in three places in Texas and I know it's not a gay friendly state. It's odd now because I live in California and people here are very open about their sexuality. Gays have no problem hitting on people if they think they have a shot.

My solution, move to gay friendly California.

Mar 16 @ 3:34PM  
I totally understand you hun. I have tried it with one woman but she was also a friend and well i want to get to know someone new. I am also afriad to hit on someone and offend them. It is to bad we live far apart because I do like you.


Mar 16 @ 3:45PM  
That's the point. There are few places that are gay friendly, and mention it to the wrong person and you're likely to end up with a black eye or worse. Not to mention social repercussions.

My best advice would be to check with local colleges and see if they have a gay/lesbian/bi group lime Lambda. Most colleges do. Then ask them what local venues there are. They should be able to tell you the hang outs and haunts for what you're looking for. Good luck!

Mar 16 @ 5:10PM  
The answer is within you.
You are a woman, you are BIsexual, you have all the answers since you know what gets your attention in your potential lovers. Use what makes you want to be with them when someone has an interest in you. Don't do the things that would turn you off to someone.
I am not Bi but I am shy and I have often found it hard to let someone I do not know yet know I am interested. (just ask any of the women I have struck out here with here).
You said you were new to being Bi, maybe if you look inside and ask, " How would I want to be approached ?" Do not make the mistakes you know would turn you off, but don't focus so much on how to act, be who you are,( as I am sure you are a wonderful woman). I think the person you will be most happy with will be a partner that knows they can trust you as being sincere and honest.
Sometimes you have to try to put aside your shyness to show others that you are interested. I know this is tough, esp. if you do not know their orientation, but don't forget that you and I and everyone is only another human and we all have needs.

If you are unsure about how to tell if someone is interested in you as a lover, there are many good books on the topic of body language you may want to read before taking the plunge. Some of the "tells" I have seen are the playing with their hair, or gestures like touching in a non-sexual way on arms or back.

In a perfect world, us shy people would have a potential partner who is outspoken about their interests, and this does happen occasionally.

Maybe you could direct these potential partners/lovers to this well worded and sincere blog you have written here and then they would know by deductive reasoning your situation.

I hope someday to be re-incarnated as a Lesbian, if I do come back I'd love to have your body.
Good things for you always,

Mar 16 @ 5:12PM  
gay men know another gay man by the eyes. i have to figure it's the same for women. straight people don't make much eye contact, gender to gender. they're afraid to get caught. gay men look back, and don't look away.

Mar 16 @ 5:35PM  
One way for a Bi woman to acqire new female lovers is to be truely BI and not just Lesbian, and simply get involved sexually with a man who is widely sexually experienced in whom you can confide your desire to be bedded by a woman.

Ask him if her knows any other Bi women? He just might remember another Bi female lover among his sexual partners, or from among "the ones who got away" who he hit on and discovered the hard way that at least his dick was not desired.

Your male lover just might offer to introduce the two of you for some hot Bi sex or he may offer to set up a 3some, with himself and you and also the new Bi female lover, just to break the ice.

I have seen so many "Bi" profiles that make little effort to date men, which makes me wonder why they dont change their profile preference to gay, so that guys wont bother trying to date them.

I wiould be happy to introduce a female Bi lover to a former lover of mine who also happens to be a Bi female. Jealousy is "fear or loss" and only possessive losers feel a degree of possession with a sexual partner.

It is far more likely that a new Bi lover would appreciate her male lover even more if he introduces her to a new female Bi lover to exchange orgasms with. That would be a "win" for all three persons.

Ya think?

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Can anyone Help?