One night a man barges into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and stands in front of his wife. "This is the pig I screw when you have a headache, he says" The wife looks at him and replies, "Thats a sheep under your arm." He replies.."I wasn't talking to you."
A man lying on his deathbed. His wife sits at his bedside holding his hand and praying silently. He looks up and says weakly, "I have something I must confess."
There's no need to'" she replies. "No", he insists, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her bestfriend, and your mother." "I know'" she replies. "Now just be still and let the poison work."
A drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and demands a drink. "Get out!" the bartender shouts, "I dont serve drunks here." The guy staggers out the front door, comes in through the side door, sits down, bangs his fist, and again loudly demands a drink. "I thought i just told you to get out," yells the bartender. The drunk gets up, stumbles out the side door, and returns through the back door. He sits down and angrily calls for a drink. The bartender walks over and shouts, "I told you, no drunks allowed, now get out!" The drunk looks up and slurs, "How many freakin' bars you at anyway?"
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