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whats wrong with some woman

posted 3/10/2007 2:15:16 PM |
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would someone explain to me why woman will put up with some one who treats them like shit and will dump on them in a minute and give them no respect in or out of the bedroom. but yet they still put up with it. i think some woman liked to be treated like this and i mean putting aside the sex thing wether its good or bad . i wonder why woman would stick around to be treated like that and if they finally did get away that they would go back to them after a period of time. someone please enlighten us all

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whats wrong with some woman


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Mar 10 @ 2:23PM  
Dude, this is a question that has stumped all of mankind for 100's of years...

Mar 10 @ 2:25PM  
In a word: self-esteem. I've seen the same behavior from guys that are being treated poorly from the women that they are in relationships with. It just seems to me that the biggest issue with them (and the women I know who have been in the same situations) is that they are lacking the self-esteem to say enough is enough. One could go as far to say that their self-esteem has been further downtrodden through of the behavior they are putting up wth in the first place.

Mar 10 @ 2:30PM  
some ladies are so beaten down with verbal abuse that they think they are not worthy of a good man, when something has been repeated to you so often , it becomes instilled ....

Mar 10 @ 2:31PM  
Ody's got a damn good handle on this......not to mention .....after that what happens is they come to a place where being with an asshole is better then being alone.........

Mar 10 @ 2:42PM  
I direct your attention to the blog entry above yours..."The Blowjob vs. The Skullfuck". Consider yourself enlightened.

Mar 10 @ 2:46PM  
They probably were raised in a family where the men, especially their father treated others like shit. They loved and hated their father, it's instilled in them from an early age. They probably need someone to have power over them, or the man looks weak and less of a man.

Mar 10 @ 2:48PM  
I feel that allot of this starts in childhood, If their parents didn't give them emotional support.
Or if that's what they saw growning up was abusive relationship between the parents.
The abuse is their comfort zone, even though it's negative.

It's not just women either.
There is a man I work with who comes into work sometimes all beat up and it's his WIFE who beats him up.
Guys have asked him, why do you put up with that?
He says he loves her.

Mar 10 @ 2:57PM  
Well, I've never talked to anyone except my fiancé about this, but I've been in an abusive (verbal and physical) marriage for 11 yrs. YES, I agree with most of what's already been said above, but it's something that differs from relationship to relationship. In my case, he threatened my life and that of my entire family and because I did not want them hurt, I took the "beating" myself, until one day, when I could not face another day of fear and I walked out with only the clothes on my back. With my family’s love and time, I started over again.

Now, 5 years later, I found the man of my dreams, someone who will never even hurt a fly and who's taught me, with endless patience, that true love, comes without boundaries. He's showed me that NOT all men are the same and that I should stop blaming myself for my failed marriage. We got engaged in December and are now planning our marriage and future. I’ve NEVER been more loved, respected and treasured in my life! He must tell me a thousand times a day how much he loves me. In ANY abusive relationship, that very basic need, gets taken away from you.

For an "outsider" it's easy to question WHY a woman endure such abuse, but until you are living in that "hell", it's very difficult to understand WHY some woman can't or won't walk away, especially if there are kids involved. All I can say to any woman out there who find themselves in such a relationship, ONLY YOU can make that change in your life. My brother always used to say “No matter who you are, you ALWAYS have 2 choices in life… you can remain the way you are, or you can change your circumstances… but, only YOU can do that!”

Thank YOU, my Romantic Fool, for showing me that love CAN be caring, gentle, passionate, understanding, supportive and above all, non judgmental or demanding! I love you sweetheart.

Mar 10 @ 3:08PM  
Low self esteem combined with a co dependant nature. They cant handle being alone and will put up with abuse for fear of being alone. Some will never get themselves out of it and some will finally hit rock bottom and get out eventually. I have tried many times to help out women like that and there is really nothing you can do till they are ready in there own mind to do something about it.

Mar 10 @ 3:13PM  
The problem here is that the abusive male is taken away or at least frowned upon by others, but no reprimand is established for the woman.

Obviously a woman's brain is broken if she resumes dating abusive men. The problem is, if the guy is ever hauled off for domestic violence, the woman isn't put into any psychological counciling to find out what's wrong with her.

I think there is comfort in being with a man who is strong enough (or alpha type enough) to protect her. Though usually, she's the one who needs the protecting from them.

It also explains why the nice men out there who don't abuse women aren't getting any dates.

Until women take responsibility for the type of men they date and society starts frowning on women who endure such relationships, they will resume doing so.

So who is actually the insane one? The abusive man or the woman who will stay with hm?


Mar 10 @ 3:52PM  
I was married to a man that treated me like shit. Abused me every which way. I did leave him a few times and went back thinking he would change. But never did. I did finally get away and stayed away. I had to sneak around him, pack a little at a time, stash money, and when he was at work I just walked out the door and got a on a greyhound. I had to leave the state to get away from him. Why because I was scared? I feared for my life. And you know what? No one would help me. I called the law and they would not help, I called safe houses ect. I had to move far away from my family to get away from him. We were divorced for 4 years and he still called and harrased me, he stalked me. The only good thing that came out of it was he died. I know that is not nice to say. But that is when I could finally walk without looking behind me.

I learned a lot. I will never let a man control me again. I had met a couple that tried and I walked away. I will never go through that again.

Mar 10 @ 4:06PM  
Once upon a time, I was a self confident, self efficient and semi selfish person, I was SINGLE. Then came along this HOT MAN and he took my breath away. It was Great for awhile. Then he decided I was too assured of myself, made too much money and that I should give it all to him. Well for some reason, this semi intelegent person let him. Oh it wasn't FAST, it was a slow process. One day I woke up insecure with myself, damn near broke and I had lost most of my friends all in the 'Name of Love". Now he had me where he wanted me, dependent on him, yet he was not taking care of anyone but himself. Finally I woke up one day, right after my daughter was born, packed what little she and I had and left!!! I cried driving all the way back to Ohio by myself with an 8 week old baby. I looked into her eyes and saw who I wanted to be again!! She gave me the strength to leave. I swore to myself that day I would never look back and I never have. He WAS NOT GOING TO WIN! I made sure he didn't get visitation, not that he cared, but I didn't want him having a chance to wiggle his dick back into our lives again.Let me clarify the visitation, so I don't get Hate Mail. It's stated in our Divorce that if his Child Support is up to date, he may ask the courts for visitation, it's never happened, nor does he pay. He should not of underestitmated the power of a MOTHER! sorry for the long story.....

Mar 10 @ 4:12PM  
I can tell you from my personal experience that most of it is the self esteem. My ex put me down so bad verbally that I didn't think I would be able to leave and find someone else. I also did love him and I stayed in this abusive relationship for 5 years. You feel so bad about yourself that you don't think you can leave them. You think your not good enough for anyone and that you deserve to be treated that way. You think if you leave that you'll be alone and alot of times that seems much worse.You just feel so bad about yourself that things can't get better for you. I personally felt so low from my ex that I actually tried to kill myself to get out.I'm glad I didn't get out that way. When you bring a child into this situation it is harder also to leave. You don't want your child growing up seeing the beatings and hearing the verbal abuse but at the same time you feel your child should be with both parents. I got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore and kicked him our for good. Not all women can do this but I am glad I did. It was the best thing for me and my kids.

Mar 10 @ 4:32PM  
I was an abused wife. My exhusband used to tell me that noone would want me, all fat with kids. I believed him! Fear of the unknown is what keeps women in these situations. I knew exactly what to expect from him. I however, did not know how the outside world was going to treat me. With all the rotten things that were told to me, its all about the mind games, and fear of the unknown being greater than fear of him!

Mar 10 @ 4:53PM  
I can only answer from my own perspective... and from statistics.

The reality is that less than 1% of abusers ever change. In the first place changing would mean that they have to acknowledge that there is something "wrong" with how they treat the people that they claim to love. That's not gonna happen. In the second place it would mean that they have to make a concerted effort to change their behavior. That's also not gonna happen.

Now, from my perspective... I spent my childhood learning that it was "ok" to be abused. Literally. I spent years learning that I am fat, ugly and stupid. No amount of praise is going to change the fact that in my mind and in my heart I KNOW that I am fat, ugly and stupid. No amount of college degrees, I have three of them, is going to convince me that I am not stupid. The fat is undeniable. Ugly? I was married to him... and I survived.

When I got into an abusive relationship I didn't even REALIZE that it was abusive until we were on about year 7 of the relationship. Then it dawned on me that I was being treated by the man who supposedly loved me the SAME way that my grandmother had treated me and that IF the way that grandmother had treated me was abusive then so too was the way that my husband was treating me. At that point I very quietly started making plans to evacuate myself and my children from his sphere of influence and get as FAR away as was humanly possible.

The first thing that he did when I disappeared with the kids was to set the house on fire. The second thing that he did was to manipulate the system that was SUPPOSED to protect us so that I was forced to move the kids and I back into his sphere of influence so that he could abuse us some more. He wound up sexually assaulting BOTH of our 5 year old children in addition to attempting to kill us several times over in the month between when he set the house on fire and when he was arrested.

He's now on year 8 of a 30 year prison sentence... and I will NEVER allow either myself or my children to be abused again.

Mar 10 @ 8:12PM  
We had a manditory seminar at my work place. According to the experts running it leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time. Many men can not handle that the woman would not want to be with them and have the attitude if i can't have them no one can. Despite what others think many times the police are no help especially if the abuser is one of them. The protection from abuse order is not very enforcable in many occasions, sometimes they can't even locate the abuser to serve it. Please don't judge others until you have been in their shoes, to say you would leave, and can't understand why others don't is the joke here. You dont' know what one persons situation is unless you are in their shoes. Find out the facts before passing judgement.

Mar 11 @ 3:43AM  
Its an instinctual human trait, in both men and woman, to want what we cant have. A person in a bad relationship will often reject the kindness of others and keep trying to break through to an abusive partner, that is until they have nothing left to give.. The abusive partner will never let that happen because of another instinctual human trait “you don’t have much respect for someone who kisses your ass” and that is how they are seen by them.
Its sad, but simple and all to common in life.

Mar 17 @ 8:47AM  
sometimes life leads us women into corners and cages...we r then turned into these raging animals trying to break free...but after so long in the cage;we r adapted to it.we can't help but to miss the corner sometimes and keep locking ourselves up n the cage until there comes the MAJOR CHANGE OR EPIPHANY....these r the reasons men shouldn't ever put themselves with a woman who has been fucked off and ran into the dirt unless he is ready to input "full-time"and even "overtime" trying to help the caged animal break free...i was stuck with many men before in my past. they treated me like a piece of meat...i was adapted to that environment oh so well i still have trouble now with how someone should b treating we all know .....WOMEN R CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

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whats wrong with some woman