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Maintenance & Rituals

posted 3/9/2007 12:24:10 PM |
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tagged: bdsm, slaves, submissives
  GryGoast

Maintenance & Rituals


In long-distance relationships or for those slaves who need a good deal of discipline, the performance of ritual behaviors and maintenance routines is something from which the D/s relationship can benefit. In a 24/7 relationship, or one headed in that direction, simple but repetitive actions and tasks will reinforce the hierarchical components on which the relationship hinges.

The incorporation of ritualistic behaviors serves to increase the slave's awareness of "difference" between the two of you. It is often a method of reminding the slave of the importance of her Master's needs and desires, and helping her understand how to put aside her own needs in order to serve dutifully.

Rituals that occur in or outside of your presence increase your level of authority in the slave's life. They are NOT meant to be a series of random or useless practices however, (which is why maintenance rituals are included here). The rituals should either be practical or deal with specific behaviors that will increase the slave's ability to serve and be pleasing to you. Do not confuse "rituals" with "rules." For example, the "rule" is that your slave needs permission to come to orgasm. The "ritual," is the question the slave poses each time she wants to have an orgasm.

Rituals should not be instinctual. They should often go against instinct and force a paradigm shift in the rules of instinct. It is best if the slave has to think about them each time she does them. Some rituals may eventually become habitual behavior patterns. That's OK. It means the shift in focus has taken hold. At that point, if the slave needs another challenge (or if you need another challenge), a ritual can be added or an existing ritual can be tweaked.

Rituals are also important to your slave's happiness. They provide her with the structure she longs for, and if she is like most slaves, whose need for attention is enormous, they provide her with a way of retaining your attention in and out of your presence.

Repeated behaviors also teach the slave self-discipline. The training period is a lot of work for both of you, and you may need to remind the slave that before she can move on to the new challenges, she must be able to perform her basic duties to your satisfaction. Encourage her to incorporate the methods of behavior you've taught her into her everyday life; thus increasing her chances of proving herself worthy of being taken to new levels of servitude.

Greeting & presentation:

When the Master enters a room:

The slave should be taught to kneel at attention every time her Master enters the room. If she is working or relaxing, all activity ceases to perform this act. During her initial training, she should expect to hold the position until she is given leave to resume her activities. When you are confident in the slave's training, you may be able to allow her to kneel and then continue on her own. (Some Master's prefer a curtsy; if you choose a curtsy, the slave should learn how to perform one with some semblance of grace.) It would behoove you to relax this rule under certain conditions; for example, when your slave is sitting on the toilet - unless you are prepared to deal with the potential outcome, or unless the slave is in great need of a humiliating experience. Kneeling in the bath or shower, though, seems perfectly acceptable, as long as the tub isn't too slippery.

If the slave notices her Master intends to remain in the room, she should offer Him her services. (i.e. "Can this slave be of assistance to You, Sir?")
If the answer is "Yes," the slave should put aside anything she is working on to fulfill her duty to serve. NO activity is more important than serving her Master's immediate needs. (This includes finishing a shower or a meal) If the answer is "No," and the slave is given leave to attend to her activities, she should perform them as she normally would, even if her Master is a constant presence.
When the slave enters a room her Master is occupying:

A slave should always knock before entering the room, (unless, of course, she is already in service and must leave to get something, etc.) This is true of rooms with or without doors. A slave's presence should be announced, and she should not assume she is welcome everywhere at all times.

The slave should not speak until she is acknowledged, and should not knock more than once unless she is fairly certain her Master did not hear.
When acknowledged, the slave should apologize for the interruption and announce her intentions.

If she is not acknowledged, she should not enter the room. (Once again, the Master's immediate need for privacy overrides any desire or duty the slave may have, and foregoing it can be explained to the Master at a later time if necessary.)
When leaving a room her Master is occupying:

The slave should announce her intentions to leave by asking permission to do so. (This rule can be relaxed when the slave must be in and out of a room frequently, but it should be you that suggests relaxing the rule, not the slave.) Depending on the circumstances, you may have a formal pose the slave must assume to ask this of you, or a method by which she gets your attention and is allowed to speak. Determine how you want to handle this before it happens, and impart that information to the slave.

If the slave is leaving to attend any personal duties (other than using the bathroom or getting a drink of water, etc.), she should first determine that you approve of her activity. (i.e. "May this slave go online, Sir?") She should further determine that you have no immediate need for her, and that before she abandons her post, you have everything you will need during her absence.

It seems appropriate to note here that it is OK to say "No," to a slave's request, even if it is just your whim to do so. The slave must understand that her rights are quite limited. If you prefer that she stand in the corner all evening, or scrub the floors with a toothbrush, she must learn to have no qualms about your decisions. This will be difficult for her. Many slaves seem to feel that good behavior on their part deserves reward. That is not the case. The slave should learn to expect nothing, under any circumstances. This is not to say you shouldn't reward her, and even reward her frequently. You do not wish her to become dull, lifeless, resentful and uninteresting. However, acquiescing to her every request allows her to make the assumption that all she has to do is voice her desire, and it will be granted.

Saying "No," once in awhile is as important as saying "Yes." Pouting, whining, complaining or balking when she is told "No," should result in immediate and appropriate discipline.

While every Master has His own preferences in personal care, the essentials of cleanliness are universal, and can be part of a maintenance

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GryGoast

Mar 9 @ 12:26PM  
While every Master has His own preferences in personal care, the essentials of cleanliness are universal, and can be part of a maintenance plan that is not overly taxing or time-consuming for you or too difficult for the slave to accomplish effectively. Fortunately, most people are familiar with bathing, but bathroom instruction is not dependent upon the actual "cleanliness" of your slave. Instructing her in matters of hygiene is a method of exercising your control, even in the most personal areas. slaves usually enjoy the attention, even if it is embarrassing for them initially. More, they enjoy being provided with structure, and the care you place on detail.

The rule of thumb for most slaves is that they are to be clean, inside and out at all times; always in a pleasant condition whether they are needed for sex or for service. This is obviously a somewhat unrealistic "rule," but nonetheless one that can be enforced. (When it's not misused or abused, one of the more delightful aspects of a BDSM lifestyle is the ability to suspend reality and give oneself over to ideals and fantasies of perfection. )


Godspeed

Master Gry

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Maintenance & Rituals