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When Is A Fuck Buddy Something More Part II

posted 3/6/2007 11:08:01 AM |
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tagged: sex, fuck buddy, friends with benefits

Lots of FINE people people posted to my earlier blog concerning "When Is A Fuck Buddy Something More". So I took your advice and decided to delve into where this thing is going.
Unfortunately, now I'm even MORE confused than I was before I asked! So let me get comfy on the AMD psychiatric couch, and give you all the latest update, so you can give me your next round of advice!
I saw my FB this past Friday night. Again, fabulous sex, lots of cuddling, lots of touching, and lots of laughter! He left early Saturday morning because his business has a booth at a Home and Garden Show and he had to go and prepare the booth.
Around 3:30 Saturday afternoon I get a call. It's my FB. He's frustrated as all get out about his older brother (who has some mental problems), and he called because he can't talk to anyone in the family about him because they get on my FB for not being more understanding.
No phone call on Sunday.
Up until this point, I have not had FB's email. But I know his company's website, so I put two and two together, and I send him an email from work on Monday. I get an immediately reply. We joke back and forth a bit, and then suddenly I get this email asking, "Are we exclusive?"
Now, I'm at work, mind you, and the beads of sweat are forming on my forehead as I formulate my answer. Without giving any information away, I type, "What do you mean by exclusive?" He immediately shoots back, "Well, what I mean is exclusive for me comes from a safety standpoint." So I write back, "Well, I'm not sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry in town if that's what you're worried about!" Him, "Good."
And if that ain't enough to blow your socks off, the next topic he ventures onto just absolutely BLEW MY MIND! He jokes around about having MPD (multiple personality disorder). He tells me there's a rapper, a businessman, a motorcycle dude, etc. He then asks, "Which one of my personalities would you like to meet your parents?" To coin a VERY famous AMD philospopher, who shall remain namelss, "jesuschristinasidecar! Where the hell did that come from?"
I don't get it. He answers questions with questions. I'm more confused now than I was before. Can anyone help me make heads or tales of this? Especially the men of AMD? What is he after? Does he just want sex? Or is he looking for more and just doesn't know how to ask? I'm so lost and would like to understand before I go down with the Titanic......

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Mar 6 @ 11:19AM  
I am sorry but i have to be true. Is he married? If he is married, he is not looking for a relationship here. Because if he were looking for some strong bond, he would be trying to take care of you more. eg. no emails? Sorry but thats a huge sign that he is not interested in anything else other than sex. I am married and i met my curr GF on a swingers site. But the connection between us was instant. I knew that i am falling for her. I emailed her , sent her text messages, called her all the time. That is because i really cared for her...Now its the time that you have to talk it out with him if you are falling for him. Good Luck.

Mar 6 @ 11:26AM  
please don't b offended if i take the wrong tone here; but aren't you kind of tap dancing around the subject? if i recall your prior blog correctly, you wanted to make it more than just a F B situation, did you not? in which case it appears to me that the opportunity has presented itself. on the other hand, the multiple personality thing should give you pause, no? i mean, can he guarantee he'll only bring one personality along to meet the folks? or that all of his personalities are like minded about being exclusive? or that he doesn't have more than four of them? and isn't a lot of this falling into the "Baggage" category? turk

Mar 6 @ 12:04PM  
I have a direct and on going relationship with an MPD. Frankly, in my view, most people have many facet's or moods... some interpret this as MPD... its not. MPD is "usually" a "fracturing" of ones personality brought on by an EXTREAME an traumatic event, Many Vets with PTSD were misdiagnosed and medicated for just PTDS yet had underlying MPD symptoms. OK ... off topic here, the point is... these fragments are just that... fragments and have limited perspective, interest and focus. Additionally it is common for MPD sufferers to have an "outside", and an "inside" personality, The outside is usually singular and deals with the outside world for the colective. This fragent is generally "in charge" and the inside are plural.

They share one body and emerge on there own from time to time, (sometimes maliciously), on there own or they can sometimes be called forth, (if they like you). This emerge is typically more sudden then "mood swings" and can be quit dramatic, the MPD having not only no control of these emergence's but the outside will not recall the event, having not "lived" thru it. If you spend time with a MPD person, the insiders become familiar and obvious.

I have come to know my friends insiders over the years and frankly enjoy there company, once I got past the confusion of just who I was speaking to. Sing, Sky and Jah Jah have all made sweet and profound contributions to my life. Just so you know how this works... my friend at the age of 6 was allowed by the family while in the south, to be sexually used and raped repeatedly by the family doctor, (hes dead now so God has despensed the appropriate justice), as payment for the family's heath care. The Sky fragment came into being during one of these brutal session because, in the position she was restrained in, all she could see was the sky thru a crack in the drawn shades of the exam room. My friend is now a talented artist and her sunset scenes are heart rending.

Hope this helps some.


Master Gry


Mar 6 @ 12:23PM  
My personal take on him asking were you exclusive was he was trying to determine your feelings.
I think when you shot that response back you put him on guard to protect himself and not feel stupid.
I think this guy likes you too. So step up to the plate and lay it out. Give the guy a break he is trying but you are going to have to meet him at least halfway. Seems like you are both trying hard to protect yourselves probably because it did start as a FB relationship and neither of you is game to be too vulnerable to the other in case you are shot down.
I think your next step is to open up a little give the guy something to work with. Tell him the guy you want to take to meet your parents is the one they would want to keep around for a long long time. That should give the guy a clue you are interested in the long haul.

Mar 6 @ 12:32PM  
This guy is playing mind games with you. Maybe you should just tell him that no parents are involved when it comes to FBs.

Mar 6 @ 12:53PM  
I agree with jezz it does sound like he cares for you more then a FB, and from the sound of it you do too. So like she said meet him half way, sounds to me like he is half way all you need to do is go the other half. Good Luck!!


Mar 6 @ 1:18PM  
Ok step one.. inhale.. deeply.. feel your tummy expanding and swelling with the breath.

step two.. exhale... push all the air out and suck in your gut at the same time.

step three .. repeat..

no worries darlin it is headed where it goes.. after all if it doesn't head into a mutually exclusive one on one forever basis.. at least you got some good luvins out of it right?

(though if you ask me.. he WANTS ya!!!!

Mar 6 @ 1:20PM  
Sounds to me like he dont want you thinking of him as the kind of guy to take home to meet mom and dad...... lets just do the sex thing,,, "and" get out of my work email space, this ant a freaken relationship thing!!

He wants to be there when he wants to be,,, and wants you to back off till he wants to be...

Mar 6 @ 1:22PM  
Psychiatrists don't have couches, they have hospitals with padded rooms and straight jackets... and they give you lots and lots of meds that make you drool on yourself... They go through med school, but only spend 2 years learning about the mind in a residency. Psychologists spend almost 10 years studying the theories of the mind and they get the comfy couches... Which is what i'm studying to become... for the couch of course... =P

Anyways... hehe... To put it simply... Your both being cryptic to each other. neither of you is willing to make a leap that puts you in harms way. This is why you don't understand each other and where you stand. It at least seams that you obviously would be interested in a full blown relationship with this guy and he the same for you.

As for him wanting sex, yes, he does. In fact, it doesn't matter what form your relationship takes, sex will probby be one of the most important things to him as a guy... depending on his libido, some of us want it several times a day and some of us can go a couple of weeks without.

So as I see it, you will eventually reach a point where everything becomes revealed... sooner or later depending how much you two dance around the issue.

Mar 6 @ 2:13PM  
yeah, i also agree with jezzarae on this one, generally the whole point of a FB is for sex without all the relationship drama that comes along with it, so he is obviously going to feel awkward in admitting there might be more to it then that.

Mar 6 @ 2:31PM  
About your fuck buddy's MPD...did he mention that he's a butt plug too? Something like: I'm a butt plug,I'm a butt plug,I'm a butt plug for sunshine35... ...Butt I'd rather be a butt plug than a famous philosafullofshitter...

Mar 6 @ 3:14PM  
wow girl you are gonna be even more confused by these responses lol, I am gonna go with jess and zena on this one, sounds like he really likes you and is trying to feel you out, without commiting himself to a place where he may be let down. Now this is all based on him not being married.

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When Is A Fuck Buddy Something More Part II