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posted 3/5/2007 9:56:26 AM |
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tagged: beauty, inner, outer, self perception

Inner Beauty. Outer Beauty. Self Perception.

Argit and I have gotten into several discussions lately about the above topics, and in fact, it was his idea that I blog on this topic, but I don't think how I am approaching it is exactly the way he had in mind. He is convinced I am gorgeous , a nice thing, given that we intend to spend the rest of our lives with each other. He also believes I am possessed of great inner beauty. At the risk of sounding vain, I would agree.

On the second item, only.

Personally, I see just a big lump of nothing when I view myself in a mirror. However, I do believe I do have great inner beauty. I think I am a good, loving , kind person, with a great deal of moral fortitude, intelligence and caring to share with anyone who takes the time to get to know the real me. I also have a quick wit and the desire to make others laugh and feel good about themselves.

Now, this blog is not about getting people to say nice things about me, in fact, that is not at ALL what I want to hear in replies.

What I want to know is how people percieve themselves. Do you think you posess physical beauty/attractiveness? What do you think are your physical attributes that contribute to your attractiveness? Do you think these things are seen in the photos you present on this site? What about inner beauty? Do you feel you possess it? If so, what traits do you feel make that so? Do you feel you present those on this site?

Ok... so... have at it. Let's hear what y'all think of yourselves.

Any personal attacks WILL be deleted.

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Mar 5 @ 10:03AM  
I am a sex GOD. and it cums out in everything I do!! Isn't it obvious?

Not gettin me to answer this one honestly, nope... no way...

Mar 5 @ 10:14AM  
I'm with you PK--I don't think physically I have a lot to offer. On the other hand, I have a lot to offer. I am honest, caring, loving, loyal, hard working and I could go on and on.

Mar 5 @ 10:17AM  
What do I think of myself?

I do have more than BOOBS. I am a very honest person. I would rather go without and help someone that needs it more than I do. I have been told by my friends that I am too nice. I have been used to many times to mention. I had to learn to say NO.
I don't think I am pretty. But there is more to me than looks. I have a heart of gold.
Great Blog PK

Mar 5 @ 10:18AM  
I think I am ok looking, I guess. But if U get 2 know me I am a good person with a good heart. Besides that...I do have a MONSTER COCK, and that should count 4 something, shouldn't it?

BTW, PK? Gerald iz right. U are fucking gorgeous. Nuff said...


Mar 5 @ 10:20AM  
Happy bein me, who cares what anyone else thinks...

Mar 5 @ 10:26AM  
Looks do matter BUT its the inner person that matters MOST. I mean people can be beautiful but ugly from inside. And what i think is that the inner beauty in a person makes a good personality automatically. Nice blog PK.

Mar 5 @ 10:29AM  
i think anyone who is halfway aware of the people around them, has an idea where they stand. you use the things others tell you to shape an opinion. curious people hear what others say. discounting the things that are said soley with the intention of getting sex. but if people think you're pretty, you probably are. if they think you're sexy, you probably are. i think it's a combination of what you think about yourself, reinforced by what others say, or vice/ versa. i don't know why others find me attractive, but over the years i've come to accept that they do. it's comfortable for me. plus there's horses for courses. you and five friends can have six different opinions about someone, a couple good, maybe a couple not so good. but it all works out.

Mar 5 @ 10:40AM  
I would pork rind you, but this is not about you is it. I like myself, but it is what we do when no one else is around that gives us our perception of what we think others see. So if you secretly do things that in a crowd you would say was gross or nasty,then sub- consciously you will feel that it is what you are and hoping others don't perceive it, and use it against you. The problem with people is they are too worried about what others think, and the really sad part of all this is most of the people we come across that we worry about we only see for just a brief moment in time,the most is a few years as friends who disappear always do. So if you really want to heal yourself then you should first start with not worrying what others think,after all,anyone not saying something nice is just ventilating their own inner demons that they cannot say to themselves, no one like to point a finger at themselves. Hope this helps you and here's to you putting on that see through nighty and giving the man who loves you for you the ride of his life without all the hang ups and this time with the lights ON! D.

Mar 5 @ 10:50AM  
Since I for professional reasons can't post a pic I Love my physical attributes! But for DS( Monster Cock)!! I think you have to use 2 fingers to masturbate Let the girls see a dick pic and let's see how that monster really is? Too many men think they have a monster cause they're proud of that thing!! So Let's see a pic and let the women judge!! (a real one)! Please!!

Whig BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!2008!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 5 @ 10:58AM  
I'm old, short, fat, ugly and grouchy.

I'm also nice, sweet, lovable, multi-talented, creative, loving, possess a fantastic sense of humor and a brilliant wit.

Shadow thinks that I am beautiful. I just shake my head and say "Thanks". I stopped asking him if he had been bumming smokes from Cheech & Chong. What He sees when he looks at me is vastly different from what I see in the mirror. I see the "warts" and he sees with his heart.

Remember... The heart doesn't lie and our perceptions of ourselves are often vastly different from how others perceive us.


Mar 5 @ 11:22AM  
I do believe we all possess some kind of beauty, be it inner or outer beauty. For me personally, I would say, inner beauty is far more important to me than the outer shell. We ALL grow old, "sag" a bit in places and don't look the million dollars we did, when 18yrs old. Inner beauty is everlasting, it never changes and will still be there when we are 70 yrs old.

For many years, I believed that I had NO beauty at all, neither inner nor outer beauty, but since I met Romantic Fool, he "changed" the way I look at myself. HE makes me feel like a princess every time he talks to me, telling me how sexy and beautiful he thinks I am and that is ALL that matters to me. I will always see myself as "ONLY ME", but he has helped me to develop my inner beauty to a level I never thought possible.

The most attractive, well built, gorgeous person, can have a ugly personality (or sometimes NO personality), but when you have inner beauty, it reflect outward.

PK, you have a heart of gold, a wonderful personality AND a gorgeous smile! Seems you have it all hun. Great blog.

Kudo's from me

Mar 5 @ 11:53AM  
We really are our own worst critics m'dear Prinkuss.. Remember that I am an artist and I notice things like proportion, color, shape and how they go together.

You are beautiful!!! I, on the other hand.. am a toad!

Mar 5 @ 11:56AM  
First off a Kudo from me. This is a great blog, I wish more could get into it for the sake it was written.

Crissy, I believe you are a very wonderful person, warm, inviting, great personality, fantastic sense of humor, and I also think you are a beautiful woman. You have a heart to match your beautiful outer self. I would be honored to call you a friend. You have a playful sense of humor that shines in the blogs and forums.

I think of myself as a loyal, free spirited, sensual, and fairly nice looking woman. My inner personality is sometimes hidden by the rough exterior. One of my friends told me once that I am a kitten hidden in a lion's body. She was very correct. I try to show that nothing hurts me, but I get my feelings hurt very easily. I think I am a nice looking woman, with a good personality. I have been used many times like Aly. I will do anything for anyone that I think would do the same for me. All in all......I think I'm the best thing since sliced bread. lol Too bad others can't see that in me. I also believe it of other people even if they can't see it themselves.

Mar 5 @ 12:05PM  
Nice blog, PK.
Do I have physical beauty? No. I used to be skinny, young and cute but I was self centered and a bitch. Now all of that has reversed.
Due to an injury, I have gained more weight than I thought I ever could. Time has taken it's toll and I see it everyday in the mirror. But I like me now. I no longer feel the world revolves around me.My daughter and grandchildren come before anything else on this earth. I have fantastic friends that I enjoy spending time with. I know I am kind, compassionate, caring, witty and fun.I have a sense of humor, I am honest and sincere and I love to laugh.I like life, and that makes me happy.
I know someone who is very pretty.She's thin-has like the perfect body, blonde, beautiful smile, bright eyes and drives the guys crazy. But I have also heard more than one person say that her portrait may look nice, but she is is flat out ugly to the bone and then some.
Which would I rather be? I'll take who I am today.

Mar 5 @ 12:06PM  
I'm not very attractive outwardly. Not to garner oooooh's, and awwwww's for myself, but for a different reason. My moustache grows out like luigi (circa 1989. Super mario Bros.), my hair is fairly long (and has been known to be the envy of a lot of women too lol) my beard grows like that of a lion's. On and on I could go.

I like to look at it this way. My physical features, are an off-shoot to my inner person. My hair is long, because it's an extention (lol no pun intended) of the various thoughts and ideas in my head. My glasses are a reminder, that I see a lot of things beyond naked eye-sight. My moustache is a reminder, that I have something to say (...and well, most people have "touched my moustache" in here lol)

On the inside, it's almost like another person's in there. Stronger than my physical counterpart. Peaceful, wise, deep, crafty, resourceful, Avant Garde, even.

That's the monkey-wrench lol, and I get it completely. To be so refreshingly different, encased in something not too many people would want to get next to. Helps you put perspective on what's important, and who's after what ...


Mar 5 @ 12:12PM  
Personally I wouldn't care if Crissy was shaped like a Weeble. All I know is I love her for all that she is and one day I hope to convince her that she not only possesses inner beauty but outwardly too. In fact I promised her I wouldn't keep telling her she is gorgeous so I am going to start saying she is immensely fuckable instead.
I am so going to pay for that I just know it.

Mar 5 @ 12:38PM  

I am old, about average for my age and height I think.
But my inner beauty Ah. I'm mean, wicked, grouchy,
evil, uncaring, thoughtless, sardastic, and very vulgar
I do my best to hurt people every day in every way.


Mar 5 @ 12:40PM  
I think your feelings are very common. People tend to be their own worst critics. Your perception of yourself is jut like Mrs_Romantic_Fool (the former B_A_B) has of herself. She thinks she is a "Plain Jane", while I find her so beautiful. On top of that, she has a beautiful heart and true "inner beauty".

So, you're not alone... but as they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". it's obvious Argit sees something in you that you don't, as I see in MY sweetheart... just accept it and bask in the unreserved love he obviously has for you!

Mar 5 @ 12:45PM  
I'm with Pudge on this way am I going to answer it. Too much like getting naked in front of all of you.

But I do enjoy reading the various responses. That is what I love about good blogs... Seeing what others think...

Mar 5 @ 1:22PM  
I have to honestly say I can't stand looking in the mirror more then I have to. I used to feel different when I was younger ( not that I am old now ). I rememeber when I used to worry so much about how I looked and when I actually thought I was a little pretty. I don't know exactly when all of that changed for me but even back then I wasn't snobby or mean and I never thought I was better then other people. I was never conceited about myself or my looks. I wasn't brought up that way. When people tell me I am pretty or sexy I just say thankyou or thanks for the comment. I don't go searching for them as I tend not to put much into what others think of me really. As far as inside well I think I am a nice person and I give everythign I have to the people I love and care about. I do whatever I can to help make the people I love and care about happy. I am friendly , caring, loving, and I have a pretty good heart. I do have a bad side to me when I am angry or when someone hurts me but then I think alot of people do. I am not miss angel or miss perfect but I do accept me as I am and I don't protray myself as such.

Mar 5 @ 1:23PM  
to those who "know" know she has this iritating way of making her friends look at themsleves in ways only she can do...makes ya crazy ! so I am not gonna answer ! instead I am gonna add to pks' good things wether she likes it or not...she forgot some stuff...

she butts in...tries to fix the world...puts her whole heart into any cause or person that touches her heart...she is NOT afraid to point and laugh at someone...(usually me) oh and did I mention she is THE most stubborn person you will ever meet ! talk about plant your feet...she is a pro ! I think her feet are made of concrete !

luv yas gf !

Mar 5 @ 1:35PM  
Your my TOAD!!!

Mar 5 @ 1:36PM  
PonME Your a lovely BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 5 @ 2:24PM  
I could not disagree with the girls more... I am Polly... many, many woman criticize me for this, for a variety of reasons... for me, it is the simple fact that, with the exception of the very few truly "toxic" personality's, I have never met a woman I don't regard as beautiful. If I set on a park bench, or bus stop and watch the flow of humanity pass me by, I find myself thinking, now... there's a pretty smile, and that is a wonderful giggle, and oh, that girl has gorgeous feet or legs ... and I like the way that girls nips stand up ... demanding my undivided attention, and don't EVEN get me started on the eyes ... the list is endless, the beauty unending, a cornucopia of delights, I am in fact wanting all of you now... in the worst ways and if pressed to choose one... I could not, so I choose none, a sad state of affaires surly.

I do however focus on the heart above all else... the inner beauty as you put it, for it is the touch to my heart that moves me the most profoundly. It is in the heart that character, respect, admiration and valor live. I would not trade even one of these trait for a few pounds of flesh... one way, or the other.


Master Gry

Mar 5 @ 2:35PM  
I look in the mirror and i see me, just me. Not anything spectacular, someone that is kind of cute at best. The inner me is different, i'm kind, loyal, care deeply about my friends, funny, sweet, and honest.

Mar 5 @ 3:03PM  
Simply put...

I'm an asshole...

Mar 5 @ 3:37PM  
I myself do not see myself as good looking at all, yet others have told me I am and I still refuse to believe to accept it. I fall into the category of nice once you get to know him.

In an odd way I am not comfortable with people I always feel like an outsider, someone who never fits in. Again this goes against what people tell me. Maybe thats why I am in therapy.

As for inner beauty, well I guess thats the problem it's on the inside no one can see it, they can only experience it.

Mar 5 @ 4:54PM  
Good Blog...I am cute, I have come to terms with my body if someone dont like it I dont care cause I know there is always someone that will. Yes my pics on my profile show only what I really like about myself...Inner beauty to me is all about how much integrity a person has. Someone that always does what they say they will. Someone that doesn't play games with others. Someone that is willing to help out in the world when they can and not just take everything in life for granted. Yes I take pride in being this type of person.

Mar 5 @ 6:06PM  
wow.......kinda well a bit average.....charming or so i've been told long enough i'm starting to believe it but kissy you KNOW how i see things and why i work so hard to keep bettering make ME happy.......and i think it's all any of us can do.......and i do agree most of us ARE our own tuffest critics.......i KNOW i am.....

Mar 5 @ 6:50PM  
I'm just like most of the women and men on here. I don't think I'm a Beauty, but I have been Beautiful on occasion. I have been cute, but those days are gone. I stay away from mirrors more than I look in them.
On the inside, I am Totally Loyal, Terribly Honest and Brilliantly Funny!! I would be my friend!
Crissy can tell you all how frigging Funny I am!! My Life is Hilarious at times, with everyday events!!

Mar 5 @ 7:54PM  
Im very self conscious of my body, but i think i have an ok smile, combined with my eyes, but it truly is what is inside that counts...... i am the type of person who would give u the shirt off my back, even if it meant me being cold.... the rest is just me being me! Have a great day everyone!

Mar 5 @ 10:33PM  
I honestly dont think much of myself when it comes to looks. Heck every ratings site out there confirms it since I dont even get scores that are the average 5's. When I was with my ex, she would put me down all the time and make me think less of myself which didnt help.

Now as far as personality goes, I know I am ok in that area. Pretty much every gal that gives me a chance to talk to them thinks Im a nice guy. My problem is that not many give me that chance. Some of that I think is cause of my outward appearance (short, thin, sorta balding)

Mar 6 @ 12:54AM  
I have been told that i'm opposite and have a HUGE ego. lol A lot of people feel the same as you do about themselves, and true, we're our own worst critics at times.

Mar 6 @ 2:41AM  
I love myself...and there are others that love me too

Mar 6 @ 8:01AM  
Go ahead....delete my comment now....

Mar 6 @ 8:45AM  
dayum kissy! me i don't think I'm anything special to look at! but my heart is as big as the world I will do anything for a friend! I love my friends and their faults sometimes they bruise my heart but I've still got friends from 6th grade! So yeah I'm loveable and hugable! oh yeah and kissable!!! kudo on this one girlie

Mar 6 @ 10:25AM  
Sit in church and look around. Are the happy couples the most “star” beautiful? Nope but they have lots of kids! Then there’s all that trouble of what are people saying if you’re that attractive one who’s marriage went to hell, or any know relationship. Enough for a lot of us to stop going or just wrap ourselves into the whole thing give up on relationships.

But the questions was:
Do I think these things are seen in the photos you present on this site? Think some try better than others, one photo can spark interest but hide so much (1000 word essay here).

I try to show pix where I’m doing something, having fun not just static. If this site is about being with me, that should be important. Then so easy to be “in the moment” when on ADM and give spoof wit. I would hope I’m liked for more than looks and that could leads to thinking sexy. Chances are on a date you'd just want ta be friends. Or if get involved all them troubles with ones in past play out… guess that can wear lines upon your face. Personally, I think look better now-but still have all them scars. I don’t usually check out tagnames that have “princess” but like them toes & your smiles adorable –nice blog kissy, good luck.

Mar 6 @ 7:59PM  
I think that I'm okay,but you'll get a different opinion from two ex wives. I love loving women and that will be the death of me.

Mar 6 @ 8:43PM  
Yikes, this opens up an uncomfortable can of worms...!

A lot of people so far seem to be pretty certain as to how they feel about themselves, secure or insecure. I myself have mixed feelings, but I err on the side of feeling insecure. I'm more confident when I have the chance to share some personality with people, because I think that's a positive addition to the package (although there's some problematic details, too!). If you saw me walking down the street, it would depend. I'm clean-cut, occasionally sport 2- or 3-day-old stubble, and have a lean frame that could use more muscle tone. I tend to appear younger than my stated age, although when I dress up and play doctor I have a very professional, friendly, competent demeanor that helps to belie my young appearance. Like my profile says, a typical description would probably be "cute," but I would be surprised to hear "drop-dead gorgeous." If I stopped being lazy and actually bulked up a little bit, I might be able to bump up at least my own perception of myself. In all seriousness, I think I'll look better in 10 or 20 years than I do now.

Mar 8 @ 12:10AM  
physically i see myself more like the live version of homer simpson. as for inner beauty people that get to know me say im a good person. i try to be there when ever needed i try to be the best friend i can be they all say good things about me . but to me im just me(hope it makes sense)

Apr 7 @ 5:27PM  
Self-perception, you say?


In spite of the fact that I may be opening myself up to those who have nothing better to do than denigrate others, here goes...

I am invisible.

That's right. I see myself as invisible.

I would love to have the kind of presence that when I walked into a room, eyes would follow me. I would love to have the kind of charisma that JFK had, that I could light up a room the way he did. That boyish smile, the magnetic personality, and his sheer charm. I would love to have the same kind of folksy ability to just set everyone at ease, as Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton could. And the drop-dead good looks of Pierce Brosnan. He can walk into a room and every woman sits up straighter, licks their lips, and tracks him with her eyes.

That never happens to me. Believe me, I pay attention.

I once placed a bet with a friend of mine that I could walk into the swankiest club, dressed to the nines, and no one would notice I was even there. $50 or the next bar tab, whichever would be higher. We actually tested this. I dressed in a very smooth black suit with a dark blue open collar shirt. He picked the most popular meat-market club in our town. He snapped a polaroid of me right before I entered the door. I went in, walked around the perimeter four times, selected a seat in a high traffic area, and even ordered a Pink Squirrel from the waitress. (Friends, never do this. It is one of the nastiest drinks on the planet!)...

I stayed in the club for exactly one hour. I walked out, he walked in with the polaroid, and not one person, not even the same waitress that I ordered that really weird drink from even remembered seeing me. Nobody. Not a single person, male or female recalled seeing me, even though I was dressed exactly the same way in the photo as I had been less than thirty minutes before they saw the photo.

It was rather discouraging. My friend couldn't believe it, so we did it again, later that same evening, at another club. Got exactly the same results. And the ^%$#@ guy welched on the bet even!

So, in response to the question you posed, I see myself as invisible.

Even in places like this. I have only had 3 people look at my profile since the last time they reset the counting thingy.

I've sent out several emails, "Hello, I read your profile and I would like to get to know you a little better" and have not had one single reply. Not one.

A couple of very nice people have responded to blogs to which I have responded, but I have not had any declarations of interest at all. And this isn't the only such site I visit.

Out in public, it is far worse than here, because you can actually tell when someone notices you. They make eye contact, and it lingers if they have any interest at all. I have never really thought of myself as the greatest thing on the planet, nor have I ever considered myself God's gift to the female gender, but it sure would be nice to be able to actually meet someone. Getting laid is another question entirely!

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Pickin' at YOUR brain and psyche.