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Introducing DickSlippery 2.Oh, Shit…What’s This Fool Up 2 Now?

posted 3/3/2007 1:39:41 AM |
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  DickSlippery

I fucking hate my life. I would probably fucking kill myself, if I wuzn’t such a pussy. I’m afraid I’ll end up being wrong about there being no Hell, and as a result of having committed suicide I’m gonna end up there 4 all of fucking eternity. Eternity iz a long fucking time 2 be doing anything…even something U like. Knowing my luck, Hell will be having 2 live the last day of my life over and over again. Wouldn’t that be comedic?

But don’t worry…this izn’t a high tech suicide letter and it izn’t my way of garnering sympathy. I honestly don’t give a shit if anybody feels sorry 4 me. Quite frankly, I have been doing enough of that myself. There comes a time when U either have 2 shit or get off the pot. Shit iz gonna change whether U want it 2 or not. That iz just the nature of things in this fucked up universe of ours. So, since I already pointed out the fact that I don’t have nearly enough conviction in my beliefs 2 put them 2 the test that leaves me only one alternative. Deal with it. Grow from it and get over it. Ok…maybe that’s three things, but U get the point. The fucking universe izn’t about 2 stand around waiting 4 me 2 get around 2 pulling my head out of my ass and getting with the program.

I fucking hate my life. So, change it then U whiney bitch! Who else iz gonna give enough of a shit 2 change Ur miserable fucking existence if U don’t give enough of a shit 2 do it Urself? What are U waiting 4? Are U hoping the fucking Happiness Faerie iz going 2 drop by and bestow upon U another crappy job? Good luck with that fuckhead, but if U are serious about hating where Ur at U might want 2 look in2 finding another crappy job on Ur own. Might see more positive results, y’know? Becuz like it or not, shit iz still gonna change, and I can either be out in front of that change directing it, or I can be behind it reacting 2 it. The choice iz mine 2 make.

So, no…this izn’t a cry 4 help or an attempt at garnering sympathy. It iz a declaration of independence. I am throwing off the shackles of mediocrity and crying out 4 my freedom! Freedom from the mundane, from the ordinary, from the status quo. I am not going to be ordinary becuz I don’t want 2 be ordinary. That 2 iz my choice 2 make.

I choose instead 2 be extraordinary and do extraordinary things. I do not know what those things are yet, or how I will achieve them. But I know they are inside of me crying 2 get out. Only I have the power 2 silence them. What a crime it would be 2 allow that 2 happen. That’s the easy way out. The cowards way out. Whatever else iz said about me after I am gone, they will never say I wuz a coward. I can promise that.

So 2morrow iz another day, and I will get up and make one small step 2wards becoming something else. One small step in some other direction than the one that I have been going. And that will be good becuz I am old enough 2 know that as long as U keep going in that direction U will eventually get there. But, life iz a pisser and sometimes U have 2 walk. No big deal, right? Just get over it and get going B4 it gets any later. After all, life izn’t going 2 wait around, iz it?



Keeping U posted,

DS

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas IX Part Two
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas IX Part One
Really...Its Just a Bunch of Fucking Gibberish
U Do Know This Iz a Sex Site, Right?
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas Vol. VIII
Blogging on the Fly
WTF Iz a Whig, Anyway (Part Two)
WTF Iz a Whig, Anyway? (Part One)
Boil It Down...Its Still Just Looking 4 Pussy (Part Two)
Boil It Down…Its Still Just Looking 4 Pussy (Part One)
Here's a little funny
Dildos, Legumes and NASCAR
Introducing DickSlippery 2.Oh, Shit…What’s This Fool Up 2 Now?
Something 2 lighten the mood
WHO WANTS SOME DICK?
The soap opera 4 the new millennium (Part Two)
The soap opera 4 the new millennium (Part One)
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas Vol. VII (Part Two)
Random Thoughts & Scattered Ideas Vol. VII (Part One)
One 4 the Trolls...
Luvrgrl got me thinking (and we know how bad that can be...)
Here we go again...
U see? Shit like this iz why I don't fucking go outside...
DUE 2 POPULAR DEMAND...I'M BACK!!!
What a fucking day!


Comments:

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PrincessKissy

Mar 3 @ 1:44AM  
WTF. Dude. 2 blogs with NO mention of me? The affair is officially OVER!!
*stamps off* Didn't even send me flowers *muttering under her breath*
Looking4ever

Mar 3 @ 2:02AM  
Dude! Have you been in my head or what?!?!?! You seriously scare me. Freaking mind reader.



Wordsofwit

Mar 3 @ 4:28AM  
Last July I was going to a baseball game (yes, first spring training games yesterday) and there was this guy on corner or the parking lot holding a bible aloft and shouting scripture to the passers by.
He saw me and turned towards me pointing his bible directly at me. "Do you know what will happen to you, if you die with out knowing Jesus?
I stopped, pondered his question, and replied, "Well, if you didn't bury or cremate me within a few days, I'd probably start stinking." He got the funniest look on his face as I moved on. He didn't say anything, but then again, he knew what I said was the truth and not refutable.
jezzarae

Mar 3 @ 5:14AM  
Awesome blog Dick. I don't throw my awesomes around freely either. I think you spoke words that many of us here can relate to in our own lives. I for one support you 100% in this decision.
I believe each of us makes our own destiny in life and I am happy you are taking control of yours.
Love ya and go get em. Oh and one of kudo things.

lillin

Mar 3 @ 6:31AM  
DS...you are smart (painfully so), terribly creative, witty, thoughtful, insightful, articulate (sometimes annoyingly)...you have incredible potential for many things...believe in yourself...make dreams and follow them...

love ya!
tetons

Mar 3 @ 6:48AM  
dude.any step is progress. it becomes self fulfilling. like lillin said; make dreams and follow them. you got talents some would kill for. you're insighful. stay focused and positive. the journey of a thousand steps starts with one. life is good.
wtxman

Mar 3 @ 8:47AM  
I wuz go n2 say funne but there iznt time,so ill juz wish u luck in your new freedom quest.
ponme

Mar 3 @ 9:32AM  
Congratulations on reaching the pinnacle of maturity.. now go outside and play... don't let that shit get you man.. being a grown up and being responsible for your own happiness is just.. well wow.. it's WORK.
Thenewguy2957

Mar 3 @ 12:39PM  
You are right that only you can change your life, get out of the rut and mediocrity. Just don't go off on a multi-state killing spree either.

Gotta find that special 'happy place' where you can go even if it's just in your head. Mine is a camp site in the back country of Utah, the sun shining off the red rocks, heat mirage skewing the scrub brush.....while I relax in the shade of my shelter sipping warm water from my canteen without a care in the world.

Wow, that sounds really lonely when I put it in print.....screw it, I have a full tank of gas and an axe.......see you on the 6 o'clock news.
kkatydid

Mar 3 @ 1:22PM  
Finally a blog worth reading!! It's all up to the individual. You plant a smile on your face and live it.....Its really not that hard to do. And the rewards, well, I have found them amazing. You plant a frown, probably an easier way to go, but as you said....and what fucking impact will that have than generating more frowns? Do you feel any better? Thank you DS for writing something here that is thought provoking.
tlc0766

Mar 3 @ 2:42PM  
I don't think of you as ordinary by any means!!!!!
cabl_guy

Mar 3 @ 6:09PM  
Great blog, DS! I feel ya on that one.
Luvrgrl

Mar 3 @ 7:34PM  
Dam.....

Nice work my friend.....You are so fucking talented and capeable of soooooo much more that you may be able to realize(right at the moment)...just ask your wife....I'm sure she will tell you how wonderful you are......I said this once and i will say it again....

Git yer shit together and make a portfolio you dum fuck! Take it to some professional writers (comedy) You need to be writing professionally...why you are not doing so right now, I have no clue......but......don't say I never told you so!

Now geit off yer skinny ass and git busy!
Luvrgrl

Mar 3 @ 7:36PM  
Alright quit yer whining....here's a kudo......
Sunshine79

Mar 4 @ 1:25PM  
Parker.....Your anything BUT ordinary!!!!
Pudge2you

Mar 5 @ 8:30AM  
There you go dude... Mind made up... Now walk the talk! And of course keep us posted!

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Introducing DickSlippery 2.Oh, Shit…What’s This Fool Up 2 Now?