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When Is A Fuck Buddy Something More?

posted 3/1/2007 8:42:06 PM |
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tagged: sex, fuck buddy

I met my current fuck buddy two weeks ago. When we hooked up, we were both looking for a "friend with benefits" kind of thing. We chatted online and on the phone several times before actually meeting in person. On our first get-together, he covered my bedroom window with plastic to keep the draft in check. I really find men that are handy oh-so-hot, so we ended up sleeping together AND he spent the night! He called me that same day, too! I can't ever remember receiving a phone call the same day after having sex with a guy. All I could think about was that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and Elaine were discussing sleeping together, and they said, "Spending the night is optional! And no phone calls the day after THAT!" LOL
So my fucky buddy and I keep talking on the phone, and we make another get-together date. We sleep together again (oh, did I mention the sex is fabulous?), AND he spends the night! But it's not just the sex- there's a lot of laughter, cuddling, hugging and touching going on, too. Like falling asleep in his arms and waking up in them the next morning! He's also told me a lot about his family- so much so that I feel like I know them! He's told me a lot about his main business, and the business he just started on his own last July.
I'm not sure what to think. Is this a normal fuck buddy relationship? And everything I had before was abnormal? Or is this something more than just a fuck buddy thing? I'm lost! Someone help!

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Mar 1 @ 8:50PM  
I don't see where your problem is. It sounds like a building relationship. I think it is legal in at least 40 States to Fuck someone you care about.

Could you have a hidden fear that he might not want to developthe relationship?

Mar 1 @ 8:50PM  
I'm probably the last person in the world that should be giving anybody advise on the fuck buddy situation. I had a fuck buddy that I was once in a serious relationship with, problem was he wasn't so serious.....LOL. Anyway, a fuck buddy is a relationship on its own. Any time two people congregate, it's a relationship. Who cares if it is normal--if you like it stick with it!!

Mar 1 @ 9:00PM  
Well,that's the way it's always been for me.You enjoy someones company why would you want to get up and leave just because you already had sex.I've always loved cuddling and hugging before and after.Plus friends with benefits doesn't restrict you,it just doesn't lead to expectations.After all,friends help other friends put up plastic,hang blinds and so forth.So when you go beyond what you expect enjoy the journey.

Mar 1 @ 9:06PM  
don't question it just enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 1 @ 9:15PM  

I have never had one, but it sounds like he would like more than just that.

Mar 1 @ 10:00PM  
Just go with what feels right to you...and enjoy yourself!

Mar 1 @ 10:11PM  
talk to him about it. don't get wires crossed and get yourself (or him) hurt. My ex (my son's father) has had two fuck buddies and one relationship since I left him. The difference for the girls... absolutely nothing. Difference for him... when the fuck buddies came to him and said that they were falling for him, he bailed quick. Leaving them heart broken, If YOU think it could be more, whats the harm in asking him?

Mar 1 @ 10:17PM  
Sometimes a relation just builds up before u know. If you see a potential,, dont let it slip out. You never know. Thats what i would do.

Mar 1 @ 10:19PM  
If you're both enjoying it....It's probably a 'Romance'...!!!
I offer my Envy...!!!

Mar 1 @ 10:19PM  
Oh no! this is more than a fuck buddy.When you get into small talk,its no longer fuck buddy, otherwise you wouln't be confused.

Mar 1 @ 11:14PM  
Yeah, I concur with what both Tom and Str8ngr8 said before me.

Mar 1 @ 11:27PM  
It sounds to me like normal friends with benifits relationship to me I had one of those for a year and a half this it was my only normal relationship I have had. If you feel like you are wanting more always good to talk to the other person to see what they are wanting from the relationship put some light on the situation

Mar 1 @ 11:35PM  
The hard thing would be to talk to the dude, see where it goes. If it scares him off, he's obviously a yellabelly and not worth your time, if he sticks around, HEY there ya go, next step ahead. Decisions suck don't they? But ya gotta make 'em or else you just twist in the wind and make it worse. Life's a bitch that leaves ya blue balled metaphorically as well as physically. Wish ya luck though, hope the dude has a pair on him and realizes he's lucked into something. Cheers!

Mar 2 @ 11:24AM  
Sunshine baby doll.. there is no such thing as normal! Relax, don't stress it and see where it goes.

Mar 2 @ 12:08PM  
Sounds like a pretty cool situation for you - you get the Fuck AND the Buddy - good for you!!!!

Mar 2 @ 1:18PM  
When the "fuck buddy" is Bri? :)

It works that way sometimes, we hook up and fit? I'm currently seeing a young lady MUCH younger than I(very mature, very hot) and it started out as a friend/w benefits deal. Within a very short time we found ourselves connected at the hip.

All good, go with the flow........Life is much to short not to smell the roses

good luck,


Mar 2 @ 1:34PM  
It sounds like he has the best of both worlds. He gets to sleep with you, and doesn't have an actual relationship with you.

If you do want your fuck buddy relationship to upgrade, it might be you who must make the first move.

But it is possible. I've had a couple fuck buddy relationships blossom into something serious. Good luck.

Mar 2 @ 2:08PM  
when he sticks his finger in your butt and verse visa

Mar 3 @ 11:19AM  
To me a fuck buddy, or play mate could go further and it sounds like it is, communicate with him and ASK!
But in my opinion a true f-buddy is someone you go hang out at the bar or something with because your both bored, after a few drinks or whatnot, you end up horizontal, then each goes thier own way when it's finished

Mar 3 @ 7:56PM  
You're over-thinking it! He's just being his true, natural gentleman self. What kind of FWB comes over just for sex, then leaves? You two have found a natural 'groove'. I think it's great!
I know, in the past, when I was in similar situations, I always made it a point not to get involved with a gal that I didn't truly care about as a person. And, sure, that may involve cooking supper, changing their spark plugs, whatever. I just made the 'friends' part a priority to the 'benefits'.
Sounds like you've got a great thing going! My thought? Go with it while it lasts and don't over-analyze it. Too many 'what ifs' might ruin the moment. Things will take their own course in time. You MAY have found a keeper! Enjoy the moment!

Mar 4 @ 5:09PM  
It is if you let it!

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When Is A Fuck Buddy Something More?