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Talking with your mouth full ...of...

posted 2/27/2007 3:29:33 PM |
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tagged: blowjobs, swallowing, rules to live by


This weekend, while I was giving a mindblowing potentially orgasmic hazardous blow job, my boyfriend begins to ask me questions. I'm not talking 'yes or no' questions, the kind you can answer while going deep, I'm talking the kind of question that requires me to remove his cock and reply, which causes him to say, "Hey, don't stop...that feels good."

So I'm going to make up a set of 5 rules I plan to blow by. Here goes..

1. Must have trimmed bush, so that when I go deep my nose doesn't get stuffed with hair.

2. Must not suddenly push my head hard down on cock. I will not be held accountable for teeth marks or other unfriendly nicks. Remember, there's only so much space in the mouth/throat and I will only go as far as the gag reflex allows.

3. Talking is acceptable, especially praise. Please refrain from asking questions. "Yes, I love to suck you cock." If I didn't, honey, it wouldn't be happening.

4. Wash your balls and ass! Yes, your ass... if it smells, a blow job ain't happening. (Note to tetons..boyfriend's ass and balls do not stink--he's a clean freak...this rule applies to those who don't wash theirs.)

5. If I swallow, it's because your cum tastes great. If not, just remember the spicy foods you recently ate and blame them. Don't get angry if I pull away and let your cum spray everywhere....sometimes, swallowing isn't worth the aftertaste of bad cum.

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post a comment!


Feb 27 @ 3:38PM  
well said!!

Feb 27 @ 3:46PM  
Dont Stop. It feels good.

Feb 27 @ 3:56PM  
Haha try my balls out they get washed every couple of months.

Feb 27 @ 3:59PM  
.........well said

Feb 27 @ 4:18PM  

Feb 27 @ 4:59PM  
Men memorize these rules...

Feb 27 @ 5:07PM  
I'd carve your name in my forhead with a butter knife if you'd just blow me!!!

Feb 27 @ 5:07PM  
Well said my lady! well said!

Feb 27 @ 5:18PM  
most of this makes perfect (common) sense to me. one question, tho; why's he your boyfriend if he doesn't wash his ass and balls?

Feb 27 @ 5:27PM  
Tetons..his ass/balls don't stink..I once had a bad experience with a guy whose did! That's why I added that rule.


Feb 27 @ 8:18PM  
How about a rule requiring a little bit of forewarning (i.e. "I'm cumming....") so you can brace yourself for the impending cumshot?

Pineapple works wonders for the taste!

Feb 27 @ 9:28PM  

I just keep the head at the very back of my throat....goes down in one swallow....never touches the tongue...

Feb 27 @ 10:19PM  
In a past life you were probably a business girl I met in a bar in Thailand.

Feb 27 @ 11:28PM  
I've been preaching that to my fellow tripods for years anyway, I manscape, bathe and make a point to chug down some sweet stuff before I expect to get a sausage tongue bath. Then again, I've always been as good and usually better at fish taco diving so it all balances out on the wheel of ka. I am a cunning linguist.

Mar 16 @ 4:50PM  

Jul 17 @ 11:45PM  

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Talking with your mouth full ...of...