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The Fork in the Road, Turning Around, and Flying into the Unknown

posted 6/15/2006 8:50:19 AM |
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Dangerous Curves. Reduced Speed Ahead. Merging Traffic. One Way Street. No U Turns. Slippery When Wet. Right Lane Must Exit. Slower Traffic Keep Right. HOV Lane. Toll Plaza Ahead. Yield. No Outlet. Caution Dangerous Intersection.

Evaluating issues as progress is made from online, to the phone, to meeting and beyond. The complexity increases over levels of the continuum. People will meet, do things together, and sexual attraction with desires will often lead to the activation of carnal knowledge long before the potential for an LTR is clearly seen. It is quite a dilemma often resulting in a repeated cycle.

At the developmental phase, it is like taxiing down the runway just before an aircraft takes off that has never been flown. If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up someplace else. Erring on the side of caution is advisable as it is easier to not do something than to try to undo it later.

Many relationships become friends with privileges but fail to go successfully beyond. Sometimes the fluttering hearts did not beat in unison and you can’t put something there that isn’t. More often, we can love together but not live together despite us all trying, at least once, to put a round peg in a square hole. These can be termed Pinocchio relationships that may be reined in to just being platonic friends.

Friends with an ex-lover can work out fabulously until someone begins to see another relationship develop to potentially become more than friends with privileges. Then the reinvented platonic friendship is usually shoved into the depths of the closet as involving an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

Experience over time should show that this need not happen as people should be secure and mature enough in the new potential LTR. It should be recognized that a lot people have investigated a possible LTR relationship and realized that it was not to be. Yet it remains an attempt to be logical on an issue driven by emotions.

It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Relationships are pushed to soar before they have flown and someone forgot to pack the parachutes.

As I digest my life, and my time with my daughter before her moving to Missouri, I am gravitating increasingly towards elevating my quality of life in such matters. I look at how wonderful my daughter's and my relationship was as well as my grandparents and really see all of that as a beacon. Lust, Mr or Ms Right, did not have anything to do with that success. It was all based upon respect, accommodation, acceptance, and love for the other person focsed upon who they are/were, not upon what they are not as a final measure. The latter strategy is the prescription for divorce. I know too damned many people who have more exes than kids and conclude that they are doing something wrong. I am one and one, and finally learning.!

When people meet initially, they do so platonically. Should it evolve into a true friendship over time, with or without a detour to intimacy, then the whole journey becomes successful even if it does not arrive at a happily ever after destination.

The quest is by no means an all or nothing affair. Relationships are not exclusively measured by being a significant other or life mate, as the most important relationships in a person's life often encompass neither.

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Aug 15 @ 3:29PM  
Well said, everyone seems to be in such a hurry to rush to the mattresses anymore. Frankly I cannot see having sex with someone I don't know at all. (sure it sounds good in fantasies but in reality not so much)

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The Fork in the Road, Turning Around, and Flying into the Unknown