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..9 words..For the men....

posted 2/22/2007 10:22:33 PM |
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tagged: women, men, joke, understanding, shag

For the men....

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

Give her an appreciative once-over look, smile and say with your most charming voice: "Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional?" Then shag her.

2.) Five Minutes:
a/ If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Go up to the bathroom where she is and start picking on her. Stroke her ass, comment on her lipstick. Then shag her. By the time you are done, she'll notice that you are 3 minutes from being late and finish before you.

b/Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Turn the surround-sound to MAX then start vacuuming in front of the TV. Within a minute she will be there fuming over the noise. The kids can't hear anything with the sound so loud anyway, so shag her in front of the TV. Then compromise that you will vacuum afterwards.

3.) Nothing. This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

This means that there is nothing she wouldn't do for a shag. So shag her.
You are going to have to as soon as she gets to fine anyway.

4.) Go Ahead! This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
Shag her. Then do it. See if she wants to pick up the dare. If she does refer to point 9.

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

Remind her that even idiots have positive aspects to them; Shag her.

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Shag her. Twice.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

Shag her. Then tell her that the thanks was such a turn-on that you want to record it to your phone so you can listen to it when you miss her. Record her Thanks.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying FUCK YOU!
Play back thanks from point 7. She knows it turns you on, so shag her.

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Go to the bar. Come home no earlier than 10 pm. Buy flowers on way home. Apologize and grovel. Then shag her.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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..9 words..For the men....


post a comment!


Feb 22 @ 10:34PM  
Just like a man... that's Fine... Go Ahead and try ... if your up now you wont be in about Five Minutes

Feb 22 @ 10:38PM  
I'm sorry, I thought this was funny as hell!

Feb 22 @ 10:42PM  
Oh men!! gotta love em!!

Feb 22 @ 10:52PM  
but you do realize… half the time I’m only saying it to get shagged

Feb 23 @ 12:40AM  
What are you doing the other half the time Natasha?

Feb 23 @ 1:08AM  
. . . OR . . .
To neutralize her frustration and turn it in your Favor.....
Say . . " I LOVE YOU . . ! "
. . And _She_'ll Shag YOU...!!! . .
TRY it.....You'll LIKE It...!!!

Feb 23 @ 3:58AM  
Freaking funny...

Feb 23 @ 4:23AM  

Feb 23 @ 6:00AM  
I know one woman, no two women, no make that three, aww hell make that all the women I know that this wouldn't work with! By the way I am currently typing this from a private room in the hospital and am being attended to by male nurses as all the female ones want to give me cosmetic surgery in my genital area.

Feb 23 @ 9:55AM  

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..9 words..For the men....