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A Life Milestone

posted 2/22/2007 8:18:55 PM |
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Yep- I've reached yet another milestone in my life. You know, like turning 16 and getting your driver's license, turning 18 and being able to vote, turning 21 and being able to drink....Anyway, you guys get the picture.
The milestone for my early 40's is a technilogically WONDERFUL item! I had no idea what I was missing out on, until..............
Folks, we are talking about NO LINE BI-FOCALS! (Insert Dramatic Music Here)
It had been two years since I had my eyes checked. The last pair of glasses I got bit the dust about six months after getting them, so I reverted back to an older pair to save from having to get new ones. Nothing like trying to see out of a pair of old prescription lenses! Then I switched jobs, so there was a waiting period before the insurance kicked in. But once it did, BAM! I was in the Optomotrist's chair within a week!
So the eye doctor I see happens to be a young guy. He's probably early 30's I would guess. He has me sit down in the chair and starts looking over my chart. He's very, very quiet, and then suddenly says, and very loudly I might add, "So I see you're 41! Are you ready for bi-focals?" (And by loudly I mean that those in Timbuktu could have heard him!)
I don't know if it was the look on my face, or the tattoo on my forehead stating, "Hey, make fun of me, I'm over 40!" that got him started, but he just kept going on and on about me being over 40! An over 40 joke here, a little comment there, I swear he just kept it up throughout the ENTIRE exam.
Now luckily I'm a good sport, and I don't get riled about my age (because I know I'm over 40 and FABULOUS! lol) But man, the guy just would not shut up about my age!
Mercifully, the exam comes to a close, and the doc wheels his chair over to the counter to start filling out the paperwork for the ladies out front, who incidentally are WAY over 40! He picks up his Dasani water bottle, takes a swig. Unfortunately for him, at the same time he's swallowing his swig of water, he also attempts to speak to me. (Insert Dramatic Music Here)
He starts sputtering and choking, and there are tears streaming out of both eyes! He can't speak or breathe, and I'm starting to get paranoid that I might have to perform mouth-to-mouth if he can't take in a breath of O2 soon......
Finally he gets ahold of himself. I ask, "Doc, are you ok?" And he responds, "Yeah, water just went down the wrong chute!"
It is at this very moment that I move in for the kill!
I say, "Now we're even! That's payback for all those bad over 40 comments you've been making!", just as he takes another drink. His face goes red, his shoulders start shaking, and before I know it, the water is shooting out of his nose!
So I reached a 40-something milestone. Bi-focals. The eye doc achieved a 30-something milestone: snorting water out his nose.
Best damn eye appointment I've ever been to!

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Feb 22 @ 8:25PM  
I feel for ya sweetie... I went from single vision lenses I never wore to TRI.. yes... you read that right... TRI focals.... and I still can't see an F'n thing

Feb 22 @ 9:00PM  
Damn, I'm glad that I don't have that problem. Hey, it's not the end of the world, right?

Feb 22 @ 10:26PM  
Are all eye doctors smart asses Mine gives me way to much crap when I go as well. Course I just dish it right back.

Feb 22 @ 11:10PM  
I had the same thing happen the last eye exam I had!! But the doc was also in his 40's, so he was sort of sympathetic. He still kept reminding me that people over 40 start to lose their near site...mine is bad but only when I wear my glasses...I have to take them off to read...or wear reading glasses when I wear my contacts. bifocals for me!!

Feb 23 @ 12:15AM  
Welcome to the grown-up club! In 2 months I'll have had them for 7 years (7th anniversary of my 40th birthday). Watch your toes, it'll be easy to trip for a few days until you adjust. :)

Feb 23 @ 1:00AM  
Almost like the first time I accidentally nailed a lady in the eye at the moment of truth. Word of advice guys that read this, don't laugh, my jaw still hurts before it rains. Milestones...ROCK

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A Life Milestone