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When A Friend Is A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

posted 2/15/2007 7:55:25 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: sex, friendship

I was completely blindsided last night. No warning, no red flags, no heads up. Suddenly, the rug was yanked out from under my feet, and the next thing I know, I was flat on my back staring at the ceiling.
I met this guy on another dating site, and we'd been chatting online and on the phone for well over six weeks before we met. We had established a FRIENDSHIP.
He lives about two hours away, so meeting up was going to be tricky at best, but we finally worked out a weekend that fit both our schedules.
He came down to see me, and we spent the weekend together. Not only was the sex fabulous, but the companionship was fabulous, too. We had a good time together. Nothing more, nothing less.
Both of us were looking for fun. Nothing serious. A friend with benefits kind of relation. So as far as I was concerned, we'd hit the mark. He left that weekend, promising to be in touch about the next time we'd be together.
Granted, with the weather the way it's been here, we've not had much chance to chat since then, but we've had a few steamy online "sessions" and I could see that nothing had really changed between us.
That is, until last night.
We got hit by a HUGE ice storm, and yesterday morning it took me two whole hours to defrost my car! In the process of chipping the ice from my vehicle, I hit a slick spot, turned my ankle, and went head over heels onto the ground. Luckily, no one else was outside to behold my circus act. I got up, dusted myself off, and laughed, thinking, I can't wait to tell HIM about this incident- he'll think it's as funny as I do!
So that night, as we are instant messaging, I tell him about my spill. He tells me he's sorry to hear that I fell. Asks did I get hurt. When I tell him no- and this is when I should have felt the barometric air pressure begin to drop- he says to me, and I quote, "Well, at least you have some cushion!"
I couldn't move at first. I was so stunned. I sat there waiting for an "LOL" that might have softened the blow somewhat, but one never appeared.
When we first began talking I made it VERY clear to him that I am a plus-size girl so there would be no misunderstandings when it came to meeting in person. He told me he didn't have a problem with that, and that he liked women with "a little meat on their bones".
So after we fuck, NOW he's going to bring up the weight issue? I just don't get it. I just don't understand what makes people tick. Why they speak without thinking how it will affect someone else. Am I sensitive about my weight? You BET! Why? Because it's always an issue when it comes to dating.
Did he intend to hurt my feelings? Maybe, maybe not. But I will never find out, because I'm not giving him another chance to hurt me.
I let him know how exactly what I thought about his comment, and that a true friend wouldn't say something like that, no matter what.
I told him if he didn't want to screw anymore it would have been easier on me for him to just say, "I'm not interested in screwing anymore!" I would have been fine with that and moved on.
I trusted this guy and thought he was different. Invested time in him, only to find he was a friend who was a wolf in sheep's clothing!

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post a comment!


Feb 15 @ 8:01PM  
feel an urge to comment but nothing sounds original...what a dipshit..........sry for you ....but then...glad you found out NOW.......


Feb 15 @ 8:10PM  
I don't know that I would take that so personally, but that is just me. I always joke about my cushioning and I kind of doubt that he meant it in a derogatory manner, obviously this man likes you for you!

Feb 15 @ 8:12PM  
Damn sunshine.. Im sorry you had to deal with that.

I still love ya though!!! Think of ya all the time.

Feb 15 @ 8:13PM  
Yep it happens to the best of us.

Feb 15 @ 8:18PM  
Wow, he should have been more sensitive

Feb 15 @ 8:21PM  
DO you ever really know anybody ?

Feb 15 @ 8:31PM  
Really sorry to hear that,,,,,,Men come a dime a dozen,,,,please don't let him get you down...You were honest with him and that's what matters,,,,He apparently is very shallow,,,It's his lost,,,,

Feb 15 @ 8:34PM  
Being a guy that has been hurt before I feel your pain. I certainly hope that you will get over this soon, although I am sure that you will. It is just really unfortunate that you had to go through it to begin with. I myself am hopefully that I will find the right relationship for me and I know you will too. Take care

Feb 15 @ 9:13PM  
I'm sorry that you fell and glad that you are not hurt. Probably would be funny to see a replay of that maneuver, bet you thought you couldn't do a triple axel and live to tell about it. As far as suggesting that you were lucky that you had some cushion was maybe taking a liberty when he did not know how sensitive you were about your perceived weight issue. I have a somewhat different take on the subject; I am suggesting that he may have thought after your conversations and the horizontal meeting that you were comfortable with yourself and even exuded a self confidence that left the impression that you were happy with yourself. I went to your profile, read your info and my impression is that you are a successful educated woman who would be a joy to be with. I looked at your photos and they are well done and you appear to be fun loving person. The profile and photos will tell anyone that you are not some skinny minnie, so to be surprised on the first date by your weight, I think not, this guy knew what he was getting into (sorry for the unintended pun).
I think you may have cut this thing off way too early by being over sensitive and maybe you should give this guy an opportunity to redeem himself or at least explain. If you blow people off at the first misstep, you maybe headed in a very lonely direction. The way I see it in business and personal affairs, if your not making a mistake or two, your not learning anything.
I hope you take this in the spirit it was written and I wish you Good Luck.

Feb 15 @ 9:28PM  
Awww. What an ass. I'm so sorry to hear that!!! He should be beaten. And beaten severely!!!

Feb 15 @ 10:01PM  
Welcome to my world. I had a guy tell me that same thing. HE contacted me and we went out. Then afterwords tells me nothing permanent will ever happen , because he is sexually attracted to petite women. Surprising enough he didnt have a problem the night before? So apparently we are good enough for a quick lay, but nothing more than that..... isnt that great!!!

Feb 15 @ 10:06PM  
isn't it possible, that he meant nothing by it? that maybe he thought you were close enough for a joke?

Feb 15 @ 10:53PM  
Don't ever feel bad about your weight. You are who you are. It's what's in a persons heart that counts...Always feel good about yourself. If you don't, no one else will.


Feb 15 @ 11:51PM  
Sorry to hear about that. As a large guy I know how our weight can be a problem with a lot of people and how it makes us sensitive about it. Your better off finding a different friend to have fun with. This one isnt worthy of your friendship or the great sex that you can give him.

Feb 16 @ 12:32AM  
Hi Sunshinegal,
You don't have to post this if you don't want to, but........I am also a bbw, and I'm thinking you might have been a little harsh in your decision to forgo a friendship so quickly. Is that all he said? Nothing more? One of my fwb said something a little less kind to me one night after a bout of drinking, which lead to hurt feelings on my part and I lit into him like no tomorrow. He sobered up and came back online with a totally different attitude. He even made a point of coming by to tell me how sorry he was, and was in tears that he'd hurt my feelings so badly. So darlin, please before you throw it all away, think about what he said and if he meant it in a mean spirited way. He could've just been joking. He could've just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. If you truely felt as close as you said you did, why not give him the benifit of the doubt? A true friend is hard to find, especially one you've invested that much time into.

Let me know how it goes if you talk to him again. And if you don't get back together with him......I'll be here if you need someone to talk to.


Feb 16 @ 2:04AM  
The man is an ass. If you establish a connection with some one it should not matter what they look like as they are the same person you have feelings for. I am lucky as I have a beautiful, intelligent and sexy woman who adores me almost as much as i adore her and she too is voluptuous and I used to like thinner women.
She has shown me what love is it is the bond that binds two hearts minds and souls together and no matter what her body is like she has me right where I want to be. I love her so much and nothing in this world will ever change that.

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When A Friend Is A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing